It seems a little odd to me to be blogging today. It just seems I haven't had much to say lately. I've been in a season of listening and absorbing more than of sharing. But this morning I had a thought, and I wanted to put it out here.
It's fun to have "important" people notice us. Universally, the most important people are thought to be those with fame, power, or money. For instance, Denzel Washington is one of my favorite actors. If he were to stop by my house, give me a call, or even drop me a Christmas card this year, I guarantee you EVERYONE would hear about it. How cool would it be to be able to tell everyone Denzel and I were friends??!!!
It was at this point that I realized....we really don't understand how important God is. Maybe it's because we can't see Him or maybe it's because we sometimes feel like we have trouble hearing from Him. I don't know for sure why. But He is THE KING. He is the most powerful being that exists. He holds every answer to every question in the universe. And He owns ALL of it.
There is no one ANYWHERE more famous than He. And yet, for some reason it doesn't necessarily seem as big of a deal to us that we know Him personally. Most of us, if we're honest, would admit we might just get more excited if we met a movie star.
Why is it I don't go from person to person saying, "You know what?? GOD spoke to me today!!" "You'll never believe who I met PERSONALLY!!! Jesus!"
Would it mean more to me if Brad Pitt said to me, "If there is anything, EVER, that you need...please let me know. I will take care of it." Would that actually be more comforting than God's promise that HE will take care of everything I need?
What is real? What do we believe? Who do we trust? What do we value? The whole world is trying to blind us...to deceive us. God's place is not, and never will be, on the back burner. His is the most important relationship we will ever, ever have.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Illegal Immigration and the Titanic
Last night as I was thinking about Illegal Immigration, it occurred to me, I think everyone is against Illegal Immigration. The difference is in what people want to do about it...do we make it easier for them to get here legally or do we keep them out? I think even the Illegal Immigrants are against Illegal Immigration. Having to sneak over here and hide, always fearing the day they get caught...it's certainly not an ideal way to live. But what are their options? After experiencing the poverty, corruption and danger in Mexico for a significant amount of time, I think I would find sneaking over here the lesser of two evils as well.
The go-to argument seems to be, "Well, they should wait their turn and come over legally." But do people realize the wait is often 20-25 years if you're coming from Mexico, if they are approved at all? If I were living in Mexico with no way to provide for my children and the wait was 25 years...I would equate that with an eternity. These people just want a chance at a better life. Should we deny them that chance just because it may threaten our comfortable lifestyles?
A few nights ago I was watching the Titanic. Remember the end, where they helped all the rich people get on rafts and left all the poor people die? That was sad, but it wasn't the scene that really got to me.
It was the scene of the handful of rich people in the raft with plenty of room for more. They sat in the distance, safe in their raft, and watched as people were screaming and dying in the water. One person said there was no way to save them all and if they went back they would be pulled over by the multitude and they would all die. That was certainly a legitimate concern.
But if the alternative was sitting back to watch them all suffer and die just to save myself....
I think I'd rather go down with the rest of them.
The go-to argument seems to be, "Well, they should wait their turn and come over legally." But do people realize the wait is often 20-25 years if you're coming from Mexico, if they are approved at all? If I were living in Mexico with no way to provide for my children and the wait was 25 years...I would equate that with an eternity. These people just want a chance at a better life. Should we deny them that chance just because it may threaten our comfortable lifestyles?
A few nights ago I was watching the Titanic. Remember the end, where they helped all the rich people get on rafts and left all the poor people die? That was sad, but it wasn't the scene that really got to me.
It was the scene of the handful of rich people in the raft with plenty of room for more. They sat in the distance, safe in their raft, and watched as people were screaming and dying in the water. One person said there was no way to save them all and if they went back they would be pulled over by the multitude and they would all die. That was certainly a legitimate concern.
But if the alternative was sitting back to watch them all suffer and die just to save myself....
I think I'd rather go down with the rest of them.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
But it's not the most important thing....
When we go through especially troubling times in this life, it's really quite easy to let ourselves become consumed by them. Even if we are praying a lot, we can find that most of our prayer time is spent asking, sometimes begging God to intervene in our situation. A lot of really terrible things happen in this world that can drive us to our knees, and the good news is God really does care. I know in our situation that not only does God care, but He has a plan and it's in motion. It is extremely important to me that our situation is resolved. But today, as I was on the elliptical listening to the Revelation song, I realized ... contrary to how I've been feeling lately, it's not the most important thing. As I worshipped God, singing the Revelation Song at the top of my lungs, the important thing is what began to consume me.
I felt surrounded by the sheer magnitude of God, His holiness, His glory. I felt the heavy weight I've been carrying for so long begin to lift. And I prayed a much different prayer.
Lord, our family belongs to You. Help us not to be consumed by the things that happen in this world. Don't let us be distracted; let our eyes remain fixed on you. Through every circumstance, no matter what's at stake, I pray that our lives would bring glory to You. I pray that we would truly be a family that lives our lives full of faith and adoration for You. No matter what happens in any situation we face in this world, we will praise you. Whether we burn in the fiery furnace or whether You deliver us, let us bring glory to your name.
And that.........that is the most important thing.
I felt surrounded by the sheer magnitude of God, His holiness, His glory. I felt the heavy weight I've been carrying for so long begin to lift. And I prayed a much different prayer.
Lord, our family belongs to You. Help us not to be consumed by the things that happen in this world. Don't let us be distracted; let our eyes remain fixed on you. Through every circumstance, no matter what's at stake, I pray that our lives would bring glory to You. I pray that we would truly be a family that lives our lives full of faith and adoration for You. No matter what happens in any situation we face in this world, we will praise you. Whether we burn in the fiery furnace or whether You deliver us, let us bring glory to your name.
And that.........that is the most important thing.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
How do I spend my time?
I've been thinking about time lately. I've heard people say through the years, "We are SO busy...we don't have any time for _______" (fill in the blank for what you are wishing you had time for.) As I've been thinking about it, however, I've decided that for the most part I think we MAKE time for what we want to make time for. Maybe our problem is more with the reasons we do the things we do.
Let me explain. The obvious example for me right now is Aaron. If every single one of my days was completely booked for the next two weeks and I got word today that Aaron was coming home tomorrow, you can bet things would get rearranged and I would be at that airport to see him when he lands. Furthermore, there would be a whole evening cleared to invite ALL our friends and family over for a HUGE celebration. Nothing would stop this from happening. It's very, very important to me. We make time for what's important to us.
On the other hand, what if we are driven to get people's approval? To always "do the right thing" so people will think highly of us? What if we fill our days with meetings, volunteering, counseling those who are hurting, giving people rides to where they need to go, etc. etc. etc. Those are great things to do if that's what's in your heart, if you're driven by love. But if you're doing it merely because you think it makes you a better person, it becomes about you, not them. You ignore the things that you know are important to you so you can continue doing these tasks that you're convinced make you a super Christian.... and bitterness is soon to follow. You resent the people you're helping for taking up your time, and you resent all the other "Christians" who aren't doing as much as you are for everyone.
Or, what if your reason is money? Let's face it, we need money to live. But there are a couple of things I want you to think about. First, how many of us work at jobs we don't like simply because we want more? We want nicer houses, cooler stuff, better vacations. And to get those things, we have to work hours and hours and hours doing something we hate. Or, what if we have to work those hours just to meet our basic needs, but instead of focusing on all the opportunities God may have for us to minister, we focus on getting it over with and collecting our money. If we work, most of us see people every single day. What an opportunity to listen to the Spirit of God to see if there's a difference we can make in someone's life. If only we could get the focus off ourselves.
Now, that's kind of easy for me to say right now because I'm finally in a position where I LOVE my job. But I've been there. I've been in those jobs where I struggle to keep a healthy focus, where I spend my time praying that something better will happen for me, rather than looking outward to see how I can touch others. And there are definitely things I wish I would have handled differently. But even now...in the job I love... there are opportunities for me to make a difference in the lives of others, OR I can choose to focus on myself and my own needs. I can always make my day about me. But if I do, I'm not successful in my business and I'm not successful in my Christian life.
Lest we begin to think this is a post encouraging everyone to stop whatever you're doing, let me quickly move on to what my real encouragement is. If you're feeling your days are being taken from you, if you find your time is spent doing things you really don't want to be doing, spend some much-needed alone time with the Holy Spirit. Find somewhere quiet, where your time is His alone. Let Him help you discover your purpose, your method, your niche so to speak. Let Him ignite the passion for whatever He created you for. He created you with a very special personality to use with special gifts and talents. Take the time to ask Him what He wants you to do. And even ask Him what you can be doing right where you are. Commit yourself to resisting all the distractions Satan would use to lure you away, and let life become about Him again.
I trust you'll find it's amazing how enjoyable time becomes.
Let me explain. The obvious example for me right now is Aaron. If every single one of my days was completely booked for the next two weeks and I got word today that Aaron was coming home tomorrow, you can bet things would get rearranged and I would be at that airport to see him when he lands. Furthermore, there would be a whole evening cleared to invite ALL our friends and family over for a HUGE celebration. Nothing would stop this from happening. It's very, very important to me. We make time for what's important to us.
On the other hand, what if we are driven to get people's approval? To always "do the right thing" so people will think highly of us? What if we fill our days with meetings, volunteering, counseling those who are hurting, giving people rides to where they need to go, etc. etc. etc. Those are great things to do if that's what's in your heart, if you're driven by love. But if you're doing it merely because you think it makes you a better person, it becomes about you, not them. You ignore the things that you know are important to you so you can continue doing these tasks that you're convinced make you a super Christian.... and bitterness is soon to follow. You resent the people you're helping for taking up your time, and you resent all the other "Christians" who aren't doing as much as you are for everyone.
Or, what if your reason is money? Let's face it, we need money to live. But there are a couple of things I want you to think about. First, how many of us work at jobs we don't like simply because we want more? We want nicer houses, cooler stuff, better vacations. And to get those things, we have to work hours and hours and hours doing something we hate. Or, what if we have to work those hours just to meet our basic needs, but instead of focusing on all the opportunities God may have for us to minister, we focus on getting it over with and collecting our money. If we work, most of us see people every single day. What an opportunity to listen to the Spirit of God to see if there's a difference we can make in someone's life. If only we could get the focus off ourselves.
Now, that's kind of easy for me to say right now because I'm finally in a position where I LOVE my job. But I've been there. I've been in those jobs where I struggle to keep a healthy focus, where I spend my time praying that something better will happen for me, rather than looking outward to see how I can touch others. And there are definitely things I wish I would have handled differently. But even now...in the job I love... there are opportunities for me to make a difference in the lives of others, OR I can choose to focus on myself and my own needs. I can always make my day about me. But if I do, I'm not successful in my business and I'm not successful in my Christian life.
Lest we begin to think this is a post encouraging everyone to stop whatever you're doing, let me quickly move on to what my real encouragement is. If you're feeling your days are being taken from you, if you find your time is spent doing things you really don't want to be doing, spend some much-needed alone time with the Holy Spirit. Find somewhere quiet, where your time is His alone. Let Him help you discover your purpose, your method, your niche so to speak. Let Him ignite the passion for whatever He created you for. He created you with a very special personality to use with special gifts and talents. Take the time to ask Him what He wants you to do. And even ask Him what you can be doing right where you are. Commit yourself to resisting all the distractions Satan would use to lure you away, and let life become about Him again.
I trust you'll find it's amazing how enjoyable time becomes.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Raise your hand if you enjoy the waiting....
We are waiting. Sometimes patiently and sometimes not so much....but waiting, nonetheless.
I would like to just put it out there right up front... I hate waiting. But in thinking back to some scriptural accounts of this particular issue, I discovered I'm in pretty good company. Even Abraham, who received top billing as a man of faith, didn't always shine in this area. Waiting is hard. It gives you too much time to question, too much time to wonder if you really heard from God. And too much time to try to figure out a workable solution on your own.
But thank God. He doesn't let go of us. He continues to comfort. He continues to build, to be faithful, to reveal. Through this process, as I surrendered my heart to His loving hands, I have found a deeper faith. I have discovered at a whole new level what it is to hope in things unseen. And I have had profound revelation of how huge and capable He really is.... capable of taking care of everything in the universe no matter how large or how small.
Most importantly of all, and the glue that really holds it all together for me, He has reminded me of His love. The deep, intimate, unconditional love.
I placed a link below to a song that has lifted my spirits many times as I wait. I still hate waiting. But I love and appreciate so much the things I gain from it. While I'm waiting, I will worship.
While I'm Waiting....
I would like to just put it out there right up front... I hate waiting. But in thinking back to some scriptural accounts of this particular issue, I discovered I'm in pretty good company. Even Abraham, who received top billing as a man of faith, didn't always shine in this area. Waiting is hard. It gives you too much time to question, too much time to wonder if you really heard from God. And too much time to try to figure out a workable solution on your own.
But thank God. He doesn't let go of us. He continues to comfort. He continues to build, to be faithful, to reveal. Through this process, as I surrendered my heart to His loving hands, I have found a deeper faith. I have discovered at a whole new level what it is to hope in things unseen. And I have had profound revelation of how huge and capable He really is.... capable of taking care of everything in the universe no matter how large or how small.
Most importantly of all, and the glue that really holds it all together for me, He has reminded me of His love. The deep, intimate, unconditional love.
I placed a link below to a song that has lifted my spirits many times as I wait. I still hate waiting. But I love and appreciate so much the things I gain from it. While I'm waiting, I will worship.
While I'm Waiting....
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Slaves obey your masters.....
I Peter 2:18 You who are slaves must accept the authority of your masters with all respect.* Do what they tell you—not only if they are kind and reasonable, but even if they are cruel.
Has this particular passage ever bothered anyone else? Is Peter saying God condones slavery??? Certainly that can't be right....
I have always been aware that a lot of things happen in the world that aren't right. And as I have seen my daughter, son-in-law, and their small children go through this horrible time of separation because of politics.... it's become just one more injustice added to my list. I see every day the effect it has on my daughter, trying to take care of two small children while she is due to deliver a third in just two short weeks. And she does it all the while trying to deal with the pain of having her husband ripped away from her. It's a lot to deal with. But yesterday, she unknowingly said something that ministered deeply to me. She had been reading a book on slavery here in the U.S., and all that those people suffered. She said, "Even if Aaron and I don't get to be together for another year, as painful as that would be, it wouldn't be as bad as what they had to go through." Now, I'm never one for comparing pain. Pain is pain, and I think you get into trouble when you try to measure one person's suffering with another's. But she was right. The things those people suffered were terrible...and it lasted a long, long time.
Which brings me back to the verse. Slaves are instructed to obey their masters. That always bothered me. I always felt it should read, "Masters, free those slaves! You have no right to hold another man captive!" Why would God condone slavery?
However, after my conversation with Rachel, something dawned on me that I have never considered before. What if this is really one of the most powerful, life-changing verses in the entire Bible? In fact, that's exactly what it was for me at that moment. It was no longer a verse about slavery. It was about integrity.
"No matter what happens to you...no matter where you find yourself in life....no matter how unfair or unjust it may be, still choose to do the right thing. Carry yourself with honor."
What is happening to Rachel and Aaron, and especially to their children right now, seems very unjust. You don't rip families apart to prove a point. You don't deprive children of their father and a wife of her husband on purpose. You don't deny a loving husband and father the opportunity to provide for his family. And you don't force a mother to give birth to her child without her husband by her side, just because of a hot political climate.
But through it all, Rachel and Aaron have continued to do the right thing. They have continued to follow the rules. They have held their heads high and walked in integrity.
Because they know. They know who really holds their future in His hands.
Has this particular passage ever bothered anyone else? Is Peter saying God condones slavery??? Certainly that can't be right....
I have always been aware that a lot of things happen in the world that aren't right. And as I have seen my daughter, son-in-law, and their small children go through this horrible time of separation because of politics.... it's become just one more injustice added to my list. I see every day the effect it has on my daughter, trying to take care of two small children while she is due to deliver a third in just two short weeks. And she does it all the while trying to deal with the pain of having her husband ripped away from her. It's a lot to deal with. But yesterday, she unknowingly said something that ministered deeply to me. She had been reading a book on slavery here in the U.S., and all that those people suffered. She said, "Even if Aaron and I don't get to be together for another year, as painful as that would be, it wouldn't be as bad as what they had to go through." Now, I'm never one for comparing pain. Pain is pain, and I think you get into trouble when you try to measure one person's suffering with another's. But she was right. The things those people suffered were terrible...and it lasted a long, long time.
Which brings me back to the verse. Slaves are instructed to obey their masters. That always bothered me. I always felt it should read, "Masters, free those slaves! You have no right to hold another man captive!" Why would God condone slavery?
However, after my conversation with Rachel, something dawned on me that I have never considered before. What if this is really one of the most powerful, life-changing verses in the entire Bible? In fact, that's exactly what it was for me at that moment. It was no longer a verse about slavery. It was about integrity.
"No matter what happens to you...no matter where you find yourself in life....no matter how unfair or unjust it may be, still choose to do the right thing. Carry yourself with honor."
What is happening to Rachel and Aaron, and especially to their children right now, seems very unjust. You don't rip families apart to prove a point. You don't deprive children of their father and a wife of her husband on purpose. You don't deny a loving husband and father the opportunity to provide for his family. And you don't force a mother to give birth to her child without her husband by her side, just because of a hot political climate.
But through it all, Rachel and Aaron have continued to do the right thing. They have continued to follow the rules. They have held their heads high and walked in integrity.
Because they know. They know who really holds their future in His hands.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Keeping the Faith
God is amazing. Even in the midst of many troubles, He continues to work. He continues to be faithful, to inspire, to comfort, to lead. My son-in-law is sitting in Mexico right now, waiting for the okay to come back to his wife and children who are oh-so-eagerly awaiting his return. Nothing is easy about this on either side. In fact, it's so mentally, emotionally, and physically draining, it could cause you to wonder if doing the "right thing" is all it's cracked up to be.
But I look at my daughter, and I listen to my son-in-law, as they both proclaim their faith and trust in God to see them through. Even through the tears, even through the pain, they continue to trust Him. Even after having their hopes crushed more than once, they continue to trust Him.
And I know it's God Himself who has drawn near to them and given them this gift. Only He can have this effect on people. No matter how bad it gets, I'm here. And I'm never going to let you go.
He's the only one who could make them this confident. Thank you, Lord, for your everlasting love.
But I look at my daughter, and I listen to my son-in-law, as they both proclaim their faith and trust in God to see them through. Even through the tears, even through the pain, they continue to trust Him. Even after having their hopes crushed more than once, they continue to trust Him.
And I know it's God Himself who has drawn near to them and given them this gift. Only He can have this effect on people. No matter how bad it gets, I'm here. And I'm never going to let you go.
He's the only one who could make them this confident. Thank you, Lord, for your everlasting love.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Does anyone REALLY know God anymore?
Today I was thinking about all the many stories in the Bible of men who could say this is what God is going to do, then sure enough that's exactly what He did. They really knew Him. They really understood what it was He wanted to do. Is there anyone that can really do that now? I can't think of anyone.
We hope. We pray and we hope. We think we have a pretty good understanding of what He should want to do, based on what we've learned about Him in the Bible. But to stand up and say, this is what God is going to do so prepare for it. We're pretty hit and miss.
I think I know God. I feel like I know His heart. There have been times when I felt that I've really heard His voice. Sometimes I was right, sometimes I was wrong. Or maybe I was never right....maybe it's just the old adage of even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in awhile.
Right now I'm just suffering in the midst of great disappointment. I really thought I knew what God wanted. I really thought I knew what He would do. And I was wrong. So wrong. I still have faith in Him. I know He knows what He is doing and everything will be okay. I just don't know if I'll ever believe again that I really know Him. Or that I can even hear His voice.
Lord, show me what's true. Show me what to believe and I'll believe it. Reveal Yourself to me.
Because I really, really need to see who you are.
We hope. We pray and we hope. We think we have a pretty good understanding of what He should want to do, based on what we've learned about Him in the Bible. But to stand up and say, this is what God is going to do so prepare for it. We're pretty hit and miss.
I think I know God. I feel like I know His heart. There have been times when I felt that I've really heard His voice. Sometimes I was right, sometimes I was wrong. Or maybe I was never right....maybe it's just the old adage of even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in awhile.
Right now I'm just suffering in the midst of great disappointment. I really thought I knew what God wanted. I really thought I knew what He would do. And I was wrong. So wrong. I still have faith in Him. I know He knows what He is doing and everything will be okay. I just don't know if I'll ever believe again that I really know Him. Or that I can even hear His voice.
Lord, show me what's true. Show me what to believe and I'll believe it. Reveal Yourself to me.
Because I really, really need to see who you are.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
In thinking about prayer....
Yesterday I had all these questions about prayer, so on the way home several different situations from the Bible came to mind. Top of the list was Job.
Deep inside we all hope we don't have to be Job. Job prayed, but ultimately it all just played out the way it was going to anyway. Job's situation wasn't resolved right away, but does that mean Job's prayers were of no effect? I don't think so. In this case I believe Job's prayers strengthened his relationship with God. He was able to be honest with Him and to open his heart to Him. And that could be the very reason that in the end, everything turned out so well. Job continued to honor God through the whole ordeal. Without prayer, he may not have been able to do that.
Then there was the passionate prayer of King David for the life of his baby. He cried out to God, fasting and praying for the life of his son. On the seventh day, his son died anyway. David's reaction?
Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the LORD. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate.
He had hopes that God would have mercy on him and let his son live. God didn't do what he wanted him to do, but he got up and worshipped God anyway.
The next incident that came to mind is in Daniel chapter 10:
12 Then he said, "Don't be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer.13 But for twenty-one days the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia blocked my way. Then Michael, one of the archangels, came to help me, and I left him there with the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia.14 Now I am here to explain what will happen to your people in the future, for this vision concerns a time yet to come."
In this case, it sounds as if some spiritual warfare had to take place in order to answer the prayer. It said Daniel's prayer was heard in heaven on the FIRST DAY he prayed, but for 3 weeks the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia blocked the messenger (thought by some to be Gabriel). Michael, who the messenger refers to as Daniel's prince, is apparently the only one who helps Gabriel fight this spirit prince of Persia. What's up with that? Interestingly, it says when he was done talking to Daniel, Gabriel needed to go back and continue this fight. So, in this case it would seem the answer was delayed only because of spiritual resistance. Did Daniel's prayers help break through this resistance? It doesn't say...it only explains the delay. But it does assure us he was heard in heaven right away, and something was in motion.
Another interesting thing that came to mind was when the apostles tried to cast the demons out of a man but couldn't do it. Jesus said that type of thing required fasting and praying. Then he proceeded to heal the guy. Now people (including me) often think you should fast and pray for the thing you are wanting to see happen. But is this really what Jesus meant? Had he been fasting and praying for this particular man to be delivered? I don't think so. I don't think the focus of our fasting and praying is to be the results we are looking for. It seems to me the key is deepening your relationship with God. The more you fast and pray, the more in tune you will be. And apparently the more powerful your prayers will be when the need arises.
In contrast to the above, there are many, many examples of prayers being answered immediately. Healings, deliverances, resurrections. You would think I'd be just as confused as I was yesterday on what the purpose of prayer really is.
But today I'm at peace. Clearly, like so many other things in the realm of God's kingdom, prayer has many purposes. The most important of these purposes is it keeps us in tune with God. So I will continue praying. I will continue worshipping and adoring, I will continue crying out for our needs. And if the answer doesn't come right away, still I remain confident that something good is in motion.
Deep inside we all hope we don't have to be Job. Job prayed, but ultimately it all just played out the way it was going to anyway. Job's situation wasn't resolved right away, but does that mean Job's prayers were of no effect? I don't think so. In this case I believe Job's prayers strengthened his relationship with God. He was able to be honest with Him and to open his heart to Him. And that could be the very reason that in the end, everything turned out so well. Job continued to honor God through the whole ordeal. Without prayer, he may not have been able to do that.
Then there was the passionate prayer of King David for the life of his baby. He cried out to God, fasting and praying for the life of his son. On the seventh day, his son died anyway. David's reaction?
Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the LORD. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate.
He had hopes that God would have mercy on him and let his son live. God didn't do what he wanted him to do, but he got up and worshipped God anyway.
The next incident that came to mind is in Daniel chapter 10:
12 Then he said, "Don't be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer.13 But for twenty-one days the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia blocked my way. Then Michael, one of the archangels, came to help me, and I left him there with the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia.14 Now I am here to explain what will happen to your people in the future, for this vision concerns a time yet to come."
In this case, it sounds as if some spiritual warfare had to take place in order to answer the prayer. It said Daniel's prayer was heard in heaven on the FIRST DAY he prayed, but for 3 weeks the spirit prince of the kingdom of Persia blocked the messenger (thought by some to be Gabriel). Michael, who the messenger refers to as Daniel's prince, is apparently the only one who helps Gabriel fight this spirit prince of Persia. What's up with that? Interestingly, it says when he was done talking to Daniel, Gabriel needed to go back and continue this fight. So, in this case it would seem the answer was delayed only because of spiritual resistance. Did Daniel's prayers help break through this resistance? It doesn't say...it only explains the delay. But it does assure us he was heard in heaven right away, and something was in motion.
Another interesting thing that came to mind was when the apostles tried to cast the demons out of a man but couldn't do it. Jesus said that type of thing required fasting and praying. Then he proceeded to heal the guy. Now people (including me) often think you should fast and pray for the thing you are wanting to see happen. But is this really what Jesus meant? Had he been fasting and praying for this particular man to be delivered? I don't think so. I don't think the focus of our fasting and praying is to be the results we are looking for. It seems to me the key is deepening your relationship with God. The more you fast and pray, the more in tune you will be. And apparently the more powerful your prayers will be when the need arises.
In contrast to the above, there are many, many examples of prayers being answered immediately. Healings, deliverances, resurrections. You would think I'd be just as confused as I was yesterday on what the purpose of prayer really is.
But today I'm at peace. Clearly, like so many other things in the realm of God's kingdom, prayer has many purposes. The most important of these purposes is it keeps us in tune with God. So I will continue praying. I will continue worshipping and adoring, I will continue crying out for our needs. And if the answer doesn't come right away, still I remain confident that something good is in motion.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Holding out for what God wants to do....
If there is one thing I've learned over the past few weeks, it's that my ways most definitely are NOT God's ways. I have prayed and prayed for things to turn out just the way I want them to. And if God really loves me, if God really cares, He'll do what I want, right? That's the attitude we often have, whether we like to admit it or not. God proves His love to us by answering our prayers the way we want them answered.
Now, I'm still on the path of discovering what the power of prayer really is, and it's a journey that's far from over. As I've mentioned in the past, it's easy for me to believe God loves us and He knows what He is doing. It's easy for me to just trust that His decisions are right. But where does prayer come into that? Does He always just do what's best for us? Or does He sometimes do what we want, what we pray for, even if He knows that's not the best thing? Is that what we really WANT Him to do? Wouldn't we rather He do the best thing, since He has quite a bit more information than we do? Are there times when the best thing doesn't happen unless we pray? These are the questions I long to find answers for.
Meanwhile, my son-in-law is in Mexico. We love him with all our hearts. He came to the U.S. when he was 16 years old with the best of intentions and the most loving of hearts. He knew his mom couldn't provide for him and his five siblings. He tried the best he could to help in Mexico, but couldn't make enough money to help. So he left his home, his security, everything he knew to come to the U.S. He didn't understand the language or the culture. I think he had some understanding as to how dangerous it was to cross the border... as much understanding as a 16 year old boy has of danger. But he did it... out of love for his family. I am amazed at how incredibly brave he was at just 16 years old.
Since that time, he has been a hard worker. He married my daughter and worked hard to provide for her and their children. Since they have been together, we have always encouraged him to do the right thing. At the top of the list was going back to Mexico so he could come over legally. We did all the paperwork, everything they required to prove it would be an extreme hardship on my daughter if he were not to return to the U.S. The lawyer said there should be no problems...it was one of the strongest cases he had ever presented, and he's done a lot of them. But, he said, they can do whatever they want to do.
Aaron went to the American Consulate in Mexico, presented the hardship waiver, and they said we failed to prove it would be an extreme hardship on Rachel if he didn't return and we need to submit more evidence. Then they said they would give us another answer in A YEAR. I'm not sure what else we can submit. He is their sole source of income. They have never had to be on any assistance whatsoever, but now Rachel will be forced to apply for assistance for herself and their children. She is pregnant, due to deliver in September. It will be a huge emotional strain on her trying to raise three children all by herself, all while mourning the loss of her husband. It will be horrible for the children to live without their father. They are talking about ripping apart a family and they want to know why that would be a hardship. How hardened have we really become?
Rachel went down to Mexico to be with Aaron because they didn't want their family to be apart, and it should have taken only two months at the most for him to come back. Since their waiver was not approved, she thought maybe they could make it in Mexico. She said even if it were hard, the family needed to be together.
Tearfully, she is coming back this week. Aaron can't make enough money to provide for them there. He hasn't found a job yet and the most he could hope to make when he does is about 1000 pesos ($100) a week. Rachel has found that everything is as expensive (or more expensive) down there than it is here. They just can't make it. So they were forced to make the impossible, yet necessary, decision that she and the kids must come back without him.
We all have heavy hearts. He is our son now. We love him. He's not a nameless, faceless illegal immigrant. He is our son. He is the father of our grandchildren. We prayed, we fasted. The church prayed and fasted. But he is still in Mexico.
I'm sure God's hand is at work. I don't know what the plan is, but I know He will work it all for good. Our prayers weren't answered the way we wanted them to be, but I have enough years under my belt that I know when all looks lost, God comes shining through.
But at the same time, we are just sad. We miss him. We love him. Lord, bring him home as soon as you can.
And if there happens to be anyone out there who has more clout than we do, we'd appreciate any and all help. Oprah, are you listening?
Now, I'm still on the path of discovering what the power of prayer really is, and it's a journey that's far from over. As I've mentioned in the past, it's easy for me to believe God loves us and He knows what He is doing. It's easy for me to just trust that His decisions are right. But where does prayer come into that? Does He always just do what's best for us? Or does He sometimes do what we want, what we pray for, even if He knows that's not the best thing? Is that what we really WANT Him to do? Wouldn't we rather He do the best thing, since He has quite a bit more information than we do? Are there times when the best thing doesn't happen unless we pray? These are the questions I long to find answers for.
Meanwhile, my son-in-law is in Mexico. We love him with all our hearts. He came to the U.S. when he was 16 years old with the best of intentions and the most loving of hearts. He knew his mom couldn't provide for him and his five siblings. He tried the best he could to help in Mexico, but couldn't make enough money to help. So he left his home, his security, everything he knew to come to the U.S. He didn't understand the language or the culture. I think he had some understanding as to how dangerous it was to cross the border... as much understanding as a 16 year old boy has of danger. But he did it... out of love for his family. I am amazed at how incredibly brave he was at just 16 years old.
Since that time, he has been a hard worker. He married my daughter and worked hard to provide for her and their children. Since they have been together, we have always encouraged him to do the right thing. At the top of the list was going back to Mexico so he could come over legally. We did all the paperwork, everything they required to prove it would be an extreme hardship on my daughter if he were not to return to the U.S. The lawyer said there should be no problems...it was one of the strongest cases he had ever presented, and he's done a lot of them. But, he said, they can do whatever they want to do.
Aaron went to the American Consulate in Mexico, presented the hardship waiver, and they said we failed to prove it would be an extreme hardship on Rachel if he didn't return and we need to submit more evidence. Then they said they would give us another answer in A YEAR. I'm not sure what else we can submit. He is their sole source of income. They have never had to be on any assistance whatsoever, but now Rachel will be forced to apply for assistance for herself and their children. She is pregnant, due to deliver in September. It will be a huge emotional strain on her trying to raise three children all by herself, all while mourning the loss of her husband. It will be horrible for the children to live without their father. They are talking about ripping apart a family and they want to know why that would be a hardship. How hardened have we really become?
Rachel went down to Mexico to be with Aaron because they didn't want their family to be apart, and it should have taken only two months at the most for him to come back. Since their waiver was not approved, she thought maybe they could make it in Mexico. She said even if it were hard, the family needed to be together.
Tearfully, she is coming back this week. Aaron can't make enough money to provide for them there. He hasn't found a job yet and the most he could hope to make when he does is about 1000 pesos ($100) a week. Rachel has found that everything is as expensive (or more expensive) down there than it is here. They just can't make it. So they were forced to make the impossible, yet necessary, decision that she and the kids must come back without him.
We all have heavy hearts. He is our son now. We love him. He's not a nameless, faceless illegal immigrant. He is our son. He is the father of our grandchildren. We prayed, we fasted. The church prayed and fasted. But he is still in Mexico.
I'm sure God's hand is at work. I don't know what the plan is, but I know He will work it all for good. Our prayers weren't answered the way we wanted them to be, but I have enough years under my belt that I know when all looks lost, God comes shining through.
But at the same time, we are just sad. We miss him. We love him. Lord, bring him home as soon as you can.
And if there happens to be anyone out there who has more clout than we do, we'd appreciate any and all help. Oprah, are you listening?
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Sometimes life will hurt....
It's one of life's paradoxes, really. There are times in our lives that will be painful. The Bible assures us of that. And yet, we can be joyful in all things.
How is it possible to feel the depth of pain that I am feeling this week, yet at the same time feel this joy, this trust, this optimism that everything will be okay? It doesn't make sense... which is exactly why I believe it's God.
God has a way of taking things that make no sense whatsoever and building deep and lasting principals on them. (i.e. fisherman leading the church, first being last/last being first, finding everything you need by serving others instead of yourself, etc., etc.) My son-in-law, who I love as if he were my very own son, left for Mexico last week. My daughter and two grandchildren are leaving on Thursday. How long? It's yet to be determined. Hopefully no longer than 6-8 weeks. But it's not our call. Their fate is in the hands of the American Embassy in Juarez. Or so it would seem.
Our church has really banded together in this. There has been a call to pray and fast until Aaron, Rachel, and the kids are safely back in America. And not just our church... I have heard from other friends throughout the U.S. who have been praying...interceding...on their behalf.
Why did they have to send Aaron to Juarez? It's one of the most dangerous places he could possibly be right now with the drug wars that are going on. Someone was shot yesterday just 5 blocks from where he is staying.
But the church is praying. The saints are crying out for His protection, His provision. He is a kind and loving God who hears the cries of His people. And even though we won't be able to get to our children to offer our protection, He will be with them. And His protection is all they need.
You see, their fate is not in the hands of the American Embassy in Juarez. Their fate is most certainly in the hands of our God.
How is it possible to feel the depth of pain that I am feeling this week, yet at the same time feel this joy, this trust, this optimism that everything will be okay? It doesn't make sense... which is exactly why I believe it's God.
God has a way of taking things that make no sense whatsoever and building deep and lasting principals on them. (i.e. fisherman leading the church, first being last/last being first, finding everything you need by serving others instead of yourself, etc., etc.) My son-in-law, who I love as if he were my very own son, left for Mexico last week. My daughter and two grandchildren are leaving on Thursday. How long? It's yet to be determined. Hopefully no longer than 6-8 weeks. But it's not our call. Their fate is in the hands of the American Embassy in Juarez. Or so it would seem.
Our church has really banded together in this. There has been a call to pray and fast until Aaron, Rachel, and the kids are safely back in America. And not just our church... I have heard from other friends throughout the U.S. who have been praying...interceding...on their behalf.
Why did they have to send Aaron to Juarez? It's one of the most dangerous places he could possibly be right now with the drug wars that are going on. Someone was shot yesterday just 5 blocks from where he is staying.
But the church is praying. The saints are crying out for His protection, His provision. He is a kind and loving God who hears the cries of His people. And even though we won't be able to get to our children to offer our protection, He will be with them. And His protection is all they need.
You see, their fate is not in the hands of the American Embassy in Juarez. Their fate is most certainly in the hands of our God.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
But I know what to do today...
It can feel like it's closing in on you.....the pressure, the uncertainty. I think deep inside, we all have a desire to know what's going to happen. That could be why people squander more money than we could imagine on psychics and fortune tellers. Even if everything they say turns out to be wrong, at least for awhile people can feel like they know what's coming.
On the other end of the spectrum, think of those life experiences we navigated through successfully that we KNOW would have scared the ba-jeebers out of us if we had known they were coming. We all have them. The curve balls life throws at us that prove we have more strength, more endurance, a deeper faith than we ever imagined. But Thank God we didn't know ahead of time it was coming, or we would never have accepted the challenge. Those are the times when I thank God for all that he revealed to me through the trials, but then quickly let him know it doesn't mean I EVER want to go through anything like that again!
I heard something in a sermon on Sunday that got me to thinking. We've been talking about the book of Acts and the uncertainty the apostles must have felt as they waited to see what this "Holy Spirit" or "Helper" turned out to be. The uncertainty of what was going to happen next after Jesus left them so abruptly. The uncertainty they must have felt as they stood there looking into the clouds after He ascended, thinking, "But wait....."
They didn't know what to expect. They didn't know what was coming. They didn't know what the future of the church was going to look like... or maybe that there even was going to be a "church". But they did what they knew to do, and they left the rest to God.
The church in Acts was in transition. Leo and I can relate. Our church is in transition. Our family is in transition. And our company is in transition. We don't know what to expect. We have no idea what the future holds in any of these areas or how it will play out in our lives.
But we know what to do today.
And today we will do it.
The rest, we leave to God.
On the other end of the spectrum, think of those life experiences we navigated through successfully that we KNOW would have scared the ba-jeebers out of us if we had known they were coming. We all have them. The curve balls life throws at us that prove we have more strength, more endurance, a deeper faith than we ever imagined. But Thank God we didn't know ahead of time it was coming, or we would never have accepted the challenge. Those are the times when I thank God for all that he revealed to me through the trials, but then quickly let him know it doesn't mean I EVER want to go through anything like that again!
I heard something in a sermon on Sunday that got me to thinking. We've been talking about the book of Acts and the uncertainty the apostles must have felt as they waited to see what this "Holy Spirit" or "Helper" turned out to be. The uncertainty of what was going to happen next after Jesus left them so abruptly. The uncertainty they must have felt as they stood there looking into the clouds after He ascended, thinking, "But wait....."
They didn't know what to expect. They didn't know what was coming. They didn't know what the future of the church was going to look like... or maybe that there even was going to be a "church". But they did what they knew to do, and they left the rest to God.
The church in Acts was in transition. Leo and I can relate. Our church is in transition. Our family is in transition. And our company is in transition. We don't know what to expect. We have no idea what the future holds in any of these areas or how it will play out in our lives.
But we know what to do today.
And today we will do it.
The rest, we leave to God.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Why do we assume the worst?
My husband and I were talking last night about how it says in the Bible we will all stand before God and give an account of our lives. Did you just feel your heart sink? It's amazing to me that our first inclination is usually to think the worst. Do we picture ourselves standing before God as he gives us example after example of how we fell short or failed? Do we expect him to focus on all the footage that shows each moment we watched tv instead of reading our Bible? Often times, that's how we are treated in the workplace, or in life for that matter. Constantly being reminded of how we fall short, how much we need to improve. So naturally, that must be how God is going to judge us, right?
I got a much different picture of it this morning.
As I was sitting on the picnic table in the back yard, I pictured myself sitting with God. It wasn't actually in heaven...it was right there at the picnic table, sort of a "mid-term" review. As he talked to me, my heart just warmed. He reminded me of good things I had done for people and said, "Remember when you did that? You did that for me." He showed me kindnesses I had shown others that touched his heart. And he showed me times when I put aside what I wanted to help someone else. I really got a sense for how much all that meant to him, and I was bursting with joy at having pleased him.
Oh, there were areas I could improve in. But the way he showed them to me was so encouraging. It was like, "And life can get even better!" By the time we were done I was ready to LEAP off that picnic table and find more ways to show his love. It was an incredible encounter.
I don't know why for all these years I have dreaded "the account". Sure, there will be lots of ways I fall short. But he already knows that. He knows I'm human. He knows how much I need him. But like any parent, I think he'll be overjoyed with the ways we tried to please him, the times we tried to reach out toward him, and the times we showed his love to others.
Is it so hard to believe he'll be proud of us?
I got a much different picture of it this morning.
As I was sitting on the picnic table in the back yard, I pictured myself sitting with God. It wasn't actually in heaven...it was right there at the picnic table, sort of a "mid-term" review. As he talked to me, my heart just warmed. He reminded me of good things I had done for people and said, "Remember when you did that? You did that for me." He showed me kindnesses I had shown others that touched his heart. And he showed me times when I put aside what I wanted to help someone else. I really got a sense for how much all that meant to him, and I was bursting with joy at having pleased him.
Oh, there were areas I could improve in. But the way he showed them to me was so encouraging. It was like, "And life can get even better!" By the time we were done I was ready to LEAP off that picnic table and find more ways to show his love. It was an incredible encounter.
I don't know why for all these years I have dreaded "the account". Sure, there will be lots of ways I fall short. But he already knows that. He knows I'm human. He knows how much I need him. But like any parent, I think he'll be overjoyed with the ways we tried to please him, the times we tried to reach out toward him, and the times we showed his love to others.
Is it so hard to believe he'll be proud of us?
Monday, April 26, 2010
And yet I ramble....
I am in that place again. I feel like I have something really deep and meaningful going on inside of me. I feel like I have something to say. And yet, I don't know what it is. A wise person would stay silent. If you don't have anything to say, stop talking. That's a good rule of thumb. But I'm not wise....at least not in this area. I start talking, and I don't stop until I figure out what it is on the inside that's trying to get out. So settle back. This could be a long post.
I think it started with our new small group topic. We decided to do Crazy Love by Frances Chan. We haven't gotten very far into it, but I'm intrigued and excited at the thought of going much deeper into my relationship with God than I ever have in the past. The deep realization that there are so many facets to God.... His personality, His love, His glory...so many facets that we could see something new about him every single day for the rest of our lives and still never scratch the surface. He is the ultimate source of creativity. The things that He can show us about Himself are never-ending. That is exciting.
When I think about it, I really do get excited. And yet, there is something churning around deep inside of me that makes me feel....discouraged. What is up with that? I don't know where it is coming from. Granted, every area of my life is in transition right now. Major transition. Our church, our business, our family. All of it. But I really don't feel overly anxious about it. I feel like I trust God. And I have every confidence He will teach us things we desperately need to know through all of it.
And yet I feel discouraged...maybe a little sad. Or maybe just unknowingly missing the days when I had somewhat of a grasp on where at least one area of my life was going. I really don't know what this is. But it's leading me straight to the feet of God. It's causing me to cry out to Him from the depths of my heart. And it's been my experience that whenever I come to that place, He comes through in amazing ways. I know Him more. I love Him more. I see a little more of Him than I saw before. This feeling of desperation in the innermost parts of my being almost always results in God's presence meeting me in some profound way.
And now that I think about it, isn't that what I was longing for at the beginning of this post? Uncomfortable or not, He has me right where I need to be.
I think it started with our new small group topic. We decided to do Crazy Love by Frances Chan. We haven't gotten very far into it, but I'm intrigued and excited at the thought of going much deeper into my relationship with God than I ever have in the past. The deep realization that there are so many facets to God.... His personality, His love, His glory...so many facets that we could see something new about him every single day for the rest of our lives and still never scratch the surface. He is the ultimate source of creativity. The things that He can show us about Himself are never-ending. That is exciting.
When I think about it, I really do get excited. And yet, there is something churning around deep inside of me that makes me feel....discouraged. What is up with that? I don't know where it is coming from. Granted, every area of my life is in transition right now. Major transition. Our church, our business, our family. All of it. But I really don't feel overly anxious about it. I feel like I trust God. And I have every confidence He will teach us things we desperately need to know through all of it.
And yet I feel discouraged...maybe a little sad. Or maybe just unknowingly missing the days when I had somewhat of a grasp on where at least one area of my life was going. I really don't know what this is. But it's leading me straight to the feet of God. It's causing me to cry out to Him from the depths of my heart. And it's been my experience that whenever I come to that place, He comes through in amazing ways. I know Him more. I love Him more. I see a little more of Him than I saw before. This feeling of desperation in the innermost parts of my being almost always results in God's presence meeting me in some profound way.
And now that I think about it, isn't that what I was longing for at the beginning of this post? Uncomfortable or not, He has me right where I need to be.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Worry
I recently read something that said if we worry, we are in effect saying that our particular situation is more important than God's command to be joyful in all things. I've been thinking about it ever since.
Do you wonder why God told us to be joyful in all things? It would almost seem that He couldn't have possibly been serious about that one. There are so many things that can hit us from so many different directions. At any given time, most of us have a whole list we could choose from of things to worry about. And yet, we are to trust God, and let go of the worry...???
If we're honest, part of the problem we have with trusting God is that He may not handle our situation the way we want it handled. Oh, we know. We've all had those times where God did things TOTALLY different than we wanted him to. We want to be able to trust God to do what we want Him to do. We're not that interested in Him doing what He thinks is best. Dear God, how smart do we think we are???? Somewhere deep inside of us, we actually believe we should hang onto it so it gets handled the way we know it should. We think we know what would be best for us. And somewhere inside, we're not totally convinced God cares what is best for us.
Through blogland, I met a girl named Rhonda who really says some great things about keeping your joy, and what it is about our troubles that we can be grateful for. You should definitely check it out. I've been pondering those things, too. In fact, I'm totally intrigued by this whole topic. And I think I'm in the process of completely redefining what it means to me to trust God.
God is interested in what's inside of me. He's interested in my growth, my maturity. He's interested in helping me learn to love genuinely, serve selflessly, and most importantly to be a light that shines toward Him. Those things are what's important. But many of us have bought into a lie. The lie that our comfort in this world is what's most important. That if God really cared, and if He really wanted us to trust Him, he would help us avoid suffering, achieve our personal dreams, have financial independence....the list goes on and on. We still think this world is what's important.
None of those things are bad in and of themselves. There is absolutely nothing wrong with achieving your dreams or having financial security. And we certainly don't need to be going out looking for some way to suffer. The problem comes when we value those things over the things that God values. We should love every trial that helps us see and know God better. We should rejoice when things have played out God's way instead of ours. If we have achieved a dream or financial security... we should be willing to lay it down in a heartbeat for any opportunity to learn to love more, serve more, be more of a hope to those who desperately need an encounter with Jesus.
So in trusting God, my quest becomes this: To lay it down. Not just the problem, but every thought I have of how the solution should play out. I want to offer God a clean slate, not some multiple choice options of how I'd like it handled. He knows what's important. And He's promised to work all things for good. What HE knows is good...not what I think I've figured out to be good. Trust is not just trusting Him with the problem. It's believing that whatever He decides to do with it is by far the best possible thing that could be done, and jumping on board with His plan no matter where it leads me.
God, help me trust you.
Do you wonder why God told us to be joyful in all things? It would almost seem that He couldn't have possibly been serious about that one. There are so many things that can hit us from so many different directions. At any given time, most of us have a whole list we could choose from of things to worry about. And yet, we are to trust God, and let go of the worry...???
If we're honest, part of the problem we have with trusting God is that He may not handle our situation the way we want it handled. Oh, we know. We've all had those times where God did things TOTALLY different than we wanted him to. We want to be able to trust God to do what we want Him to do. We're not that interested in Him doing what He thinks is best. Dear God, how smart do we think we are???? Somewhere deep inside of us, we actually believe we should hang onto it so it gets handled the way we know it should. We think we know what would be best for us. And somewhere inside, we're not totally convinced God cares what is best for us.
Through blogland, I met a girl named Rhonda who really says some great things about keeping your joy, and what it is about our troubles that we can be grateful for. You should definitely check it out. I've been pondering those things, too. In fact, I'm totally intrigued by this whole topic. And I think I'm in the process of completely redefining what it means to me to trust God.
God is interested in what's inside of me. He's interested in my growth, my maturity. He's interested in helping me learn to love genuinely, serve selflessly, and most importantly to be a light that shines toward Him. Those things are what's important. But many of us have bought into a lie. The lie that our comfort in this world is what's most important. That if God really cared, and if He really wanted us to trust Him, he would help us avoid suffering, achieve our personal dreams, have financial independence....the list goes on and on. We still think this world is what's important.
None of those things are bad in and of themselves. There is absolutely nothing wrong with achieving your dreams or having financial security. And we certainly don't need to be going out looking for some way to suffer. The problem comes when we value those things over the things that God values. We should love every trial that helps us see and know God better. We should rejoice when things have played out God's way instead of ours. If we have achieved a dream or financial security... we should be willing to lay it down in a heartbeat for any opportunity to learn to love more, serve more, be more of a hope to those who desperately need an encounter with Jesus.
So in trusting God, my quest becomes this: To lay it down. Not just the problem, but every thought I have of how the solution should play out. I want to offer God a clean slate, not some multiple choice options of how I'd like it handled. He knows what's important. And He's promised to work all things for good. What HE knows is good...not what I think I've figured out to be good. Trust is not just trusting Him with the problem. It's believing that whatever He decides to do with it is by far the best possible thing that could be done, and jumping on board with His plan no matter where it leads me.
God, help me trust you.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Aquila and Priscilla
Quite a long time ago, I felt that God laid something on my heart. When I was reading and praying, I felt that He said he wanted Leonard and I to model our lives after Aquila and Priscilla.
It turns out there isn't a whole lot of information about Aquila and Priscilla in the Bible. But what there is seems right down our alley. We've read all the scriptures that have to do with them, and we've read a lot of commentaries, and so far what we've found is we love doing the things they did.
We LOVE welcoming people into our home. We love sharing our love for God with them and freely offering any encouragement/knowledge that we may have. We love doing everything as a team (it seems most everything we do, we do it together). And more than anything else, we want to focus our lives on doing the work of the Kingdom. One commentary said Aquila and Priscilla made money making tents so they could do the Lord's work. And I would be willing to bet that even during work hours, they were doing all they could to help others see the truth about God.
Another commentary we read quoted a man as saying, "There are two kinds of people. The kind who do the work, and the kind who take credit for it. Strive to be the first kind...there's a lot less competition there." That's the kind of people Aquila and Priscilla were. They were happy to be doing the Lord's work, and didn't care about titles, or receiving credit. They knew that it was everyone's job to minister to others, and they just did it. What a great thing to strive for.
I'm excited about our future. I'm excited to see what God has for us to do. I just pray that we hear His voice and have the courage and the vision to see it through.
It turns out there isn't a whole lot of information about Aquila and Priscilla in the Bible. But what there is seems right down our alley. We've read all the scriptures that have to do with them, and we've read a lot of commentaries, and so far what we've found is we love doing the things they did.
We LOVE welcoming people into our home. We love sharing our love for God with them and freely offering any encouragement/knowledge that we may have. We love doing everything as a team (it seems most everything we do, we do it together). And more than anything else, we want to focus our lives on doing the work of the Kingdom. One commentary said Aquila and Priscilla made money making tents so they could do the Lord's work. And I would be willing to bet that even during work hours, they were doing all they could to help others see the truth about God.
Another commentary we read quoted a man as saying, "There are two kinds of people. The kind who do the work, and the kind who take credit for it. Strive to be the first kind...there's a lot less competition there." That's the kind of people Aquila and Priscilla were. They were happy to be doing the Lord's work, and didn't care about titles, or receiving credit. They knew that it was everyone's job to minister to others, and they just did it. What a great thing to strive for.
I'm excited about our future. I'm excited to see what God has for us to do. I just pray that we hear His voice and have the courage and the vision to see it through.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
The Dream
Yesterday when I was at home sick, I had a dream about Dan (our pastor who died last month). I'm not good with analyzing dreams, but I can tell you that even with all that has been weighing on me lately, I woke up very encouraged.
It all started in a gymnasium. Dan was working with some people on some type of drama and he had a woman from our church helping him, as she needed it for some school credits. There was a younger man who had been told earlier he could help with it because he also needed credits, so I went to Dan and told him I thought he should let the young man help. Dan explained to me why he wasn't doing it that way and I was fine with his decision, even though I didn't necessarily agree. The next thing I knew I was sitting in the bleachers talking to another guy in our church.
I told him, "It's so easy to have great faith when God speaks to you. Then you just have to trust him enough to do whatever He's said. It's so much harder when He's silent and you have no idea what He wants you to do." Then I went on to say about someone else in our church (that I don't even think this about!): "He thinks he knows so much about God. Well, of course he does... it was HANDED to him. The elders of our church taught us well."
The next thing I knew I was walking down a corridor with Dan. We were talking about the drama, when he said, "You know, I heard you say something in the bleachers that I took as quite a compliment." I said, "What was that?"
"When you said, 'Of course he does, it was handed to him.' "
I said, "Well, it's true. You and the elders have taught us so much about God and about how to live our lives." Then I began to cry and I said, "But it's so hard now that you're gone. I don't always know what to do." And right then, Dan disappeared. I was really upset. I wished I hadn't said anything about him being gone so he could still be there for me to talk to. I cried, "I don't know what to do."
Then I heard Dan's voice say, "It's been handed to you."
And right then, I woke up.
This dream felt so real to me, and I knew it was true. Through everything we've learned from Dan and the other elders, through the encouraging words we've gotten from our friends, and from the encouragement we've gotten directly from God... we DO know what to do. It has been handed to us.
I don't know why it's so hard not to give the world more input than it should have. The ways of the world are not God's ways. This dream was a good reminder to me to put my hope in what I've heard from God and from His people. And even more, it reminded me that what Dan instilled in us for 20+ years lives on.
It all started in a gymnasium. Dan was working with some people on some type of drama and he had a woman from our church helping him, as she needed it for some school credits. There was a younger man who had been told earlier he could help with it because he also needed credits, so I went to Dan and told him I thought he should let the young man help. Dan explained to me why he wasn't doing it that way and I was fine with his decision, even though I didn't necessarily agree. The next thing I knew I was sitting in the bleachers talking to another guy in our church.
I told him, "It's so easy to have great faith when God speaks to you. Then you just have to trust him enough to do whatever He's said. It's so much harder when He's silent and you have no idea what He wants you to do." Then I went on to say about someone else in our church (that I don't even think this about!): "He thinks he knows so much about God. Well, of course he does... it was HANDED to him. The elders of our church taught us well."
The next thing I knew I was walking down a corridor with Dan. We were talking about the drama, when he said, "You know, I heard you say something in the bleachers that I took as quite a compliment." I said, "What was that?"
"When you said, 'Of course he does, it was handed to him.' "
I said, "Well, it's true. You and the elders have taught us so much about God and about how to live our lives." Then I began to cry and I said, "But it's so hard now that you're gone. I don't always know what to do." And right then, Dan disappeared. I was really upset. I wished I hadn't said anything about him being gone so he could still be there for me to talk to. I cried, "I don't know what to do."
Then I heard Dan's voice say, "It's been handed to you."
And right then, I woke up.
This dream felt so real to me, and I knew it was true. Through everything we've learned from Dan and the other elders, through the encouraging words we've gotten from our friends, and from the encouragement we've gotten directly from God... we DO know what to do. It has been handed to us.
I don't know why it's so hard not to give the world more input than it should have. The ways of the world are not God's ways. This dream was a good reminder to me to put my hope in what I've heard from God and from His people. And even more, it reminded me that what Dan instilled in us for 20+ years lives on.
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Unknown
My husband and I work together and we love it. A lot of people have asked if it has caused stress in our marriage.... one woman said she couldn't even paint a room with her husband without getting in a fight!!! Fortunately, that's not the case for us. We run our office together, with my daughter occasionally coming in to help, and we really love being able to be together.
Recently, however, we found out that our situation may be changing. We are going to begin the process of being on straight commission. Now, this could go really, really well for us...or everything could fall apart around us. (During a recession is not the most comfortable time to rely on commissions for your livelihood.) There is a good possibility it could all go very well. However, that's not what I find myself thinking about. I find myself thinking about what could go wrong.
This isn't totally out-of-character for me. I seem to always want to be prepared for the worst. I want to have a game plan already in place, never to be caught off guard. On the other hand, God tends to want to break me of this need for control. Or should I say the "feeling" of control...as we all know the control we think we have is merely an illusion.
As I was sharing this situation with a good friend, she told me something she had read about eagles. When eagles teach their young to fly, they pick them up, take them high into the air, and just drop them. The tiny eagle flails around, probably thinking, "What the heck, Mom??!!! I'm falling!! Hello??? I'm FALLING!" But before the young eagle hits the ground, the mother swoops him up and tries it again.
Eventually, the fear must subside a bit and the young eagle starts trying to fly. And if you've ever seen an eagle AFTER he's learned to fly... there is nothing that looks more beautiful, more natural, more freeing.
I believe there is a reason God is taking us down this path. We are not sure where the path will take us, but we know we want to live our lives serving Him in the best way we possibly can. No matter what lies ahead, our trust will be in Him.
But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
That's where we're headed. But we need to stop resisting the process of learning. We just need to trust Him as he teaches us to fly.
Recently, however, we found out that our situation may be changing. We are going to begin the process of being on straight commission. Now, this could go really, really well for us...or everything could fall apart around us. (During a recession is not the most comfortable time to rely on commissions for your livelihood.) There is a good possibility it could all go very well. However, that's not what I find myself thinking about. I find myself thinking about what could go wrong.
This isn't totally out-of-character for me. I seem to always want to be prepared for the worst. I want to have a game plan already in place, never to be caught off guard. On the other hand, God tends to want to break me of this need for control. Or should I say the "feeling" of control...as we all know the control we think we have is merely an illusion.
As I was sharing this situation with a good friend, she told me something she had read about eagles. When eagles teach their young to fly, they pick them up, take them high into the air, and just drop them. The tiny eagle flails around, probably thinking, "What the heck, Mom??!!! I'm falling!! Hello??? I'm FALLING!" But before the young eagle hits the ground, the mother swoops him up and tries it again.
Eventually, the fear must subside a bit and the young eagle starts trying to fly. And if you've ever seen an eagle AFTER he's learned to fly... there is nothing that looks more beautiful, more natural, more freeing.
I believe there is a reason God is taking us down this path. We are not sure where the path will take us, but we know we want to live our lives serving Him in the best way we possibly can. No matter what lies ahead, our trust will be in Him.
But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31
That's where we're headed. But we need to stop resisting the process of learning. We just need to trust Him as he teaches us to fly.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
The Well-Lit Path
I'm back. After taking quite a break from blogging to do a lot of soul-searching, I'm back.
The past couple of weeks, I feel that God has been leading me to a place of deeper trust. It's easy to trust that God is in control when everything is going as you think it should. Or even as you think HE would think it should. But when things happen that make no sense... when you can't understand how it could possibly fit into His plans... when you especially can't see how He could even be okay with it... that's when it's easy to feel like your faith is shaken.
It's all subject to change (my thoughts are evolving) but for now, these are some of the things I've been thinking about:
1. God is in control even when the world seems out of control. He won't leave us. He won't let go of us. He'll continue to give us peace in the times when peace seems like an impossibility. And he will always, always, always bring good out of the situation, no matter how badly it begins. When His hand touches it, everything becomes possible.
2. For as long as I live, I will cringe when people only say God was watching over them/protecting them when they arrive to their destinations safely. I've seen more than enough untimely deaths... but I KNOW God was watching over them. I KNOW He never withdrew His protection. Sometimes people don't arrive to their destinations safely. Sometimes they leave this earth a lot sooner than it seems they should. But that is never a measure of God's protection or how closely He is watching over them.
3. It's going to take me a lot longer than I thought to really understand that it's not all about this world. I have thought I understood that life is really about things that are eternal, that life in the Spiritual realm is all that truly matters. But I've found I still care an awful lot what happens in this world. I come around in the end...realizing that the time will come when we will all be together in a place where life is as it should be. But sometimes it takes awhile. Sometimes what happens in this life is all I can see.
4. I want to live whatever days I have left on this earth doing what the Father wants me to do. I want to help others see the love and sacrifice that Jesus made just so we could be close to him. I want to hear His voice clearly, and have the vision and the passion to walk out anything He has for me to do, no matter how easy or hard it may be. I want to seek first His kingdom, and know I never have to sweat the other stuff.
5. I want greater faith. I want to know and believe that he will show me the steps I should take. I want to spend time in His presence. I want to live in His light.
And no matter where my path leads... if I'm following Him, it's exactly where I want to be.
The past couple of weeks, I feel that God has been leading me to a place of deeper trust. It's easy to trust that God is in control when everything is going as you think it should. Or even as you think HE would think it should. But when things happen that make no sense... when you can't understand how it could possibly fit into His plans... when you especially can't see how He could even be okay with it... that's when it's easy to feel like your faith is shaken.
It's all subject to change (my thoughts are evolving) but for now, these are some of the things I've been thinking about:
1. God is in control even when the world seems out of control. He won't leave us. He won't let go of us. He'll continue to give us peace in the times when peace seems like an impossibility. And he will always, always, always bring good out of the situation, no matter how badly it begins. When His hand touches it, everything becomes possible.
2. For as long as I live, I will cringe when people only say God was watching over them/protecting them when they arrive to their destinations safely. I've seen more than enough untimely deaths... but I KNOW God was watching over them. I KNOW He never withdrew His protection. Sometimes people don't arrive to their destinations safely. Sometimes they leave this earth a lot sooner than it seems they should. But that is never a measure of God's protection or how closely He is watching over them.
3. It's going to take me a lot longer than I thought to really understand that it's not all about this world. I have thought I understood that life is really about things that are eternal, that life in the Spiritual realm is all that truly matters. But I've found I still care an awful lot what happens in this world. I come around in the end...realizing that the time will come when we will all be together in a place where life is as it should be. But sometimes it takes awhile. Sometimes what happens in this life is all I can see.
4. I want to live whatever days I have left on this earth doing what the Father wants me to do. I want to help others see the love and sacrifice that Jesus made just so we could be close to him. I want to hear His voice clearly, and have the vision and the passion to walk out anything He has for me to do, no matter how easy or hard it may be. I want to seek first His kingdom, and know I never have to sweat the other stuff.
5. I want greater faith. I want to know and believe that he will show me the steps I should take. I want to spend time in His presence. I want to live in His light.
And no matter where my path leads... if I'm following Him, it's exactly where I want to be.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Words aren't enough.
I've always been a big fan of the written word. I've always felt there is such power in being able to take others to a place that may only exist inside of you, and help them experience it.
But then there are times like this when words seem to trivialize everything. They aren't enough. There aren't any words big enough or powerful enough to convey all the emotions that come with losing someone at a time that seems all too soon. We weren't done with him. There was so much more life we wanted to live with him.
Dan Thompson taught the people of our church to be genuine. He had little tolerance for a church environment where people had to put on a happy face and act like they had it all together. And he had even less tolerance for a church environment that was harsh and judgmental.
But he loved mercy. He loved grace. He loved being able to accept people for who they are, embracing both the good and the bad, and helping them along their journey no matter what point they may find themselves at.
He taught us to love God with all of our hearts. And he taught us to really, genuinely, deeply love each other. To lay our lives down for each other. And the last few years were spent teaching us to take that love outside the church. Don't just be nice to people .... really care about them. Really love them. And that is how they will see the heart of Jesus.
There is numbness. There are tears. There is laughter and memories. Most of all, there will be friendship. Hugging, crying, grieving. There may not be any words. But there will be people laying down their lives to help each other cope.
Because that's how Dan Thompson taught us to live.
But then there are times like this when words seem to trivialize everything. They aren't enough. There aren't any words big enough or powerful enough to convey all the emotions that come with losing someone at a time that seems all too soon. We weren't done with him. There was so much more life we wanted to live with him.
Dan Thompson taught the people of our church to be genuine. He had little tolerance for a church environment where people had to put on a happy face and act like they had it all together. And he had even less tolerance for a church environment that was harsh and judgmental.
But he loved mercy. He loved grace. He loved being able to accept people for who they are, embracing both the good and the bad, and helping them along their journey no matter what point they may find themselves at.
He taught us to love God with all of our hearts. And he taught us to really, genuinely, deeply love each other. To lay our lives down for each other. And the last few years were spent teaching us to take that love outside the church. Don't just be nice to people .... really care about them. Really love them. And that is how they will see the heart of Jesus.
There is numbness. There are tears. There is laughter and memories. Most of all, there will be friendship. Hugging, crying, grieving. There may not be any words. But there will be people laying down their lives to help each other cope.
Because that's how Dan Thompson taught us to live.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I'll never, ever let you down
I went with a couple of friends to see "The Book of Eli" the other night. Wow... what a story. It was pretty slow moving in the beginning, but by the end of the movie the storyline was etched into my soul.
I wonder how I will respond if life as I know it drastically changes? I so admired Denzel's character and his unwavering devotion to God. That's what I envision for myself if the time ever comes. I will be the one who willingly steps into the fiery furnace. I will face the lions. I won't let anyone stop me from proclaiming my great love for God loudly and boldly. I will never back down. Yes, that's what I imagine in my head. And that's what I truly hope for.
But what goes on in my head is not necessarily what plays out in reality. (Trust me... if it were, I'd be a much better person than I am). Remember Peter? Who could have been more devoted to Jesus than him? But when the chips were down, he choked. Oh, it wasn't the end of the story for him. And it wouldn't be for me either. God is so willing to help us back up again... to give us the strength to try again.... to use every failure to build us up. He is a loving and merciful God. And for that I am so grateful.
But my prayer is that no matter what I face in the future, I will be able to stand steadfastly for God. I pray that my love for him wins out over any obstacle, any amount of suffering. I pray that what I feel for him in my heart will be the reality of my life.
And life as we know it doesn't have to change at all for this to be the deepest cry of my heart.
I wonder how I will respond if life as I know it drastically changes? I so admired Denzel's character and his unwavering devotion to God. That's what I envision for myself if the time ever comes. I will be the one who willingly steps into the fiery furnace. I will face the lions. I won't let anyone stop me from proclaiming my great love for God loudly and boldly. I will never back down. Yes, that's what I imagine in my head. And that's what I truly hope for.
But what goes on in my head is not necessarily what plays out in reality. (Trust me... if it were, I'd be a much better person than I am). Remember Peter? Who could have been more devoted to Jesus than him? But when the chips were down, he choked. Oh, it wasn't the end of the story for him. And it wouldn't be for me either. God is so willing to help us back up again... to give us the strength to try again.... to use every failure to build us up. He is a loving and merciful God. And for that I am so grateful.
But my prayer is that no matter what I face in the future, I will be able to stand steadfastly for God. I pray that my love for him wins out over any obstacle, any amount of suffering. I pray that what I feel for him in my heart will be the reality of my life.
And life as we know it doesn't have to change at all for this to be the deepest cry of my heart.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Pushing Through
I know I've mentioned this before, but I'm on a mission to overcome my fears. Not to stop having fear, but to stop letting the fear control what I do. I find this fear shows up most in my workplace. As you know, I'm in sales. I love what I do... I love helping my clients find the perfect items to work with whatever event they're planning. I especially love finding gifts for employees to help them feel appreciated. I have good relationships with my clients and it's easy to work with them. That's right down my alley.
The part that is not so much down my alley is going out to find new clients. For some reason, that just causes fear to rise up inside of me (not good for a sales rep). I love to help people and I WANT to help in any way I can. But walking up and talking to people I don't know has ALWAYS frightened me. And here I am in a job where I need to learn to do just that.
I was praying about it awhile back, and I felt God showed me this is something I need to get a handle on. Not just for work, not just to make more sales... but so I'm able to do the things God has for me to do. There could be many reasons I wound up in a job like this. But I know for sure that he is using it to shape me. He is using it to teach me, refine me, and to cause me to grow.
And that is where the encouragement came in. I love when God encourages me. It carries a lot of weight, because He tends to be right about a lot of stuff. And what I feel I heard from God is that I can do this...even without the absence of fear. I can talk to people I don't know, whether I fear it or not. I can do it.
So this is my goal: To do what I know I need to do. And instead of trying to ease my fears, I'm going to walk out and do it right in the midst of my fears.
I may indeed have fear....but it can only control me if I let it.
The part that is not so much down my alley is going out to find new clients. For some reason, that just causes fear to rise up inside of me (not good for a sales rep). I love to help people and I WANT to help in any way I can. But walking up and talking to people I don't know has ALWAYS frightened me. And here I am in a job where I need to learn to do just that.
I was praying about it awhile back, and I felt God showed me this is something I need to get a handle on. Not just for work, not just to make more sales... but so I'm able to do the things God has for me to do. There could be many reasons I wound up in a job like this. But I know for sure that he is using it to shape me. He is using it to teach me, refine me, and to cause me to grow.
And that is where the encouragement came in. I love when God encourages me. It carries a lot of weight, because He tends to be right about a lot of stuff. And what I feel I heard from God is that I can do this...even without the absence of fear. I can talk to people I don't know, whether I fear it or not. I can do it.
So this is my goal: To do what I know I need to do. And instead of trying to ease my fears, I'm going to walk out and do it right in the midst of my fears.
I may indeed have fear....but it can only control me if I let it.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Is there a line?
A couple of weeks ago, it hit me! Finally, after 19 1/2 years of living in our house, I figured out exactly what I wanted to do to the back of it. I've always known I wanted to knock out the back and put a rounded breakfast nook with LOTS of windows looking out to the back yard. But I've never really known what would happen to the upstairs. I kind of thought maybe just a double-decker deck of some sort. But then it hit me. I would extend the sunroom that is up there and make it into a rec room! How fun! We would have plenty of room for entertaining... get a pool table that converts to a ping-pong table, and a shuffle board table. We'd put a few high top tables along each side. It was a perfect idea!
Leonard and I were so excited with the vision.... but it didn't last. You see, I have this inner dilemma. The thought of making our already-sufficient home into something nicer when I know there are people who are LOSING their homes, or who have needs that are so much greater than ours.... that really, really, really bothers me.
Don't get me wrong... I do not begrudge people what they have. I don't think it's a sin to be rich or have possessions as long as you live with a generous heart. But is there a line? And where is it? I think it's something each of us have to determine for ourselves. But I'm having a little trouble with mine.
Can I spend however many thousands of dollars it would take to remodel our house when I know people are living at the City Mission? On the other end of the spectrum.... Can I spend $20 on a pizza when I know there are people who are hungry? (Let me assure you...I can.) But should that bother me just as much? And what about everything in between that we buy? The phones, the computers, the furniture... replacing them just because there's something better out there.
There are so many people with needs and struggles that I can't even begin to understand. People who live without ANYTHING every single day. What about them? We think of them when there are earthquakes and it's all over the news. But when they're quietly starving to death or dehydrating from a lack of clean drinking water.... as long as we don't pay attention, we can go on with our lives.
Is this why Mother Teresa lived the way she did? Did she have a true understanding of how important it is to care for the people with real needs? How did she get to the place where she could freely give up everything just for the privilege of taking care of those who needed her? What if we ALL gave up everything we have to take care of those who need us? What would the world look like?
So many questions. And that nagging, underlying knowledge that I can make it all go away just by not thinking about it.
God, help me. Help me to really understand what it is you have for me to do.
Leonard and I were so excited with the vision.... but it didn't last. You see, I have this inner dilemma. The thought of making our already-sufficient home into something nicer when I know there are people who are LOSING their homes, or who have needs that are so much greater than ours.... that really, really, really bothers me.
Don't get me wrong... I do not begrudge people what they have. I don't think it's a sin to be rich or have possessions as long as you live with a generous heart. But is there a line? And where is it? I think it's something each of us have to determine for ourselves. But I'm having a little trouble with mine.
Can I spend however many thousands of dollars it would take to remodel our house when I know people are living at the City Mission? On the other end of the spectrum.... Can I spend $20 on a pizza when I know there are people who are hungry? (Let me assure you...I can.) But should that bother me just as much? And what about everything in between that we buy? The phones, the computers, the furniture... replacing them just because there's something better out there.
There are so many people with needs and struggles that I can't even begin to understand. People who live without ANYTHING every single day. What about them? We think of them when there are earthquakes and it's all over the news. But when they're quietly starving to death or dehydrating from a lack of clean drinking water.... as long as we don't pay attention, we can go on with our lives.
Is this why Mother Teresa lived the way she did? Did she have a true understanding of how important it is to care for the people with real needs? How did she get to the place where she could freely give up everything just for the privilege of taking care of those who needed her? What if we ALL gave up everything we have to take care of those who need us? What would the world look like?
So many questions. And that nagging, underlying knowledge that I can make it all go away just by not thinking about it.
God, help me. Help me to really understand what it is you have for me to do.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
What really matters
Sometimes I get so caught up in my schedule, I catch myself forgetting what really matters. Last weekend we went to Minnesota. It was a wonderful trip! We were to have a company meeting in Glenwood on Monday, and it just so happened our oldest daughter had to get back to St. Paul to start classes at the same time. So we decided to hop in the car and follow her back on Saturday so we could relax in a hotel, go to Mall of America, and just enjoy some time with her before dropping her off at the dorms. Every moment of this will be a treasure in my heart for the rest of my life.
Sunday night, we were heading to St. Paul to her dorm room and we got stuck in some really heavy traffic. This is when I found myself getting annoyed. Apparently there was an accident up ahead and all the cars were trying to squeeze into one lane. It took quite a long time to get by, and it's probably a good thing because it gave me some much-needed time to think. There was an accident up ahead and I was irritated that it was inconveniencing me. I had NO IDEA if the accident was a fender-bender or if some families lives were going to be forever altered because they lost a loved one. I've seen what this does to a family. And suddenly my schedule didn't matter anymore.
My mind went back to when my daughter's boyfriend was killed in a car accident a few years ago. He and his brother stopped in to talk to their mom, and on their way home they slid into an oncoming car. His mother had absolutely no idea that would be the last time she would see her son alive.
After things like this happen, we are acutely aware of what matters. And we think we'll never, ever forget. But somehow it gradually fades. We are beings that naturally gravitate toward taking things (life) for granted. We find ourselves having to REMIND ourselves to be grateful, to pay attention to what matters, to let go of the things that don't.
In Ephesians 5:17 it says Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. If it were possible to determine how much of what we do is done thoughtlessly, I wonder what the percentages would be. Even if we didn't do anything bad, if we had taken the time to understand what the Lord wanted us to do in that situation, would we have done things the same way?
Life is so precious. The time we have here is so precious. None of us can possibly know what's ahead. I want to pay closer attention to what really matters. I want to be able to loosen my grasp on what doesn't. I want to be so in tune with my Father that as I am living my life I understand what He wants me to do.
Because whatever it is that He wants me to do, it will be something that definitely matters.
Sunday night, we were heading to St. Paul to her dorm room and we got stuck in some really heavy traffic. This is when I found myself getting annoyed. Apparently there was an accident up ahead and all the cars were trying to squeeze into one lane. It took quite a long time to get by, and it's probably a good thing because it gave me some much-needed time to think. There was an accident up ahead and I was irritated that it was inconveniencing me. I had NO IDEA if the accident was a fender-bender or if some families lives were going to be forever altered because they lost a loved one. I've seen what this does to a family. And suddenly my schedule didn't matter anymore.
My mind went back to when my daughter's boyfriend was killed in a car accident a few years ago. He and his brother stopped in to talk to their mom, and on their way home they slid into an oncoming car. His mother had absolutely no idea that would be the last time she would see her son alive.
After things like this happen, we are acutely aware of what matters. And we think we'll never, ever forget. But somehow it gradually fades. We are beings that naturally gravitate toward taking things (life) for granted. We find ourselves having to REMIND ourselves to be grateful, to pay attention to what matters, to let go of the things that don't.
In Ephesians 5:17 it says Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. If it were possible to determine how much of what we do is done thoughtlessly, I wonder what the percentages would be. Even if we didn't do anything bad, if we had taken the time to understand what the Lord wanted us to do in that situation, would we have done things the same way?
Life is so precious. The time we have here is so precious. None of us can possibly know what's ahead. I want to pay closer attention to what really matters. I want to be able to loosen my grasp on what doesn't. I want to be so in tune with my Father that as I am living my life I understand what He wants me to do.
Because whatever it is that He wants me to do, it will be something that definitely matters.
Friday, January 8, 2010
But let me explain....
Okay, so Leonard's comment to me on the last post was he thinks I'm too hard on myself. Or "I don't think the situation is as bleak as you make it out to be." And as I reread the post I can see how that's how it sounds. So I feel I need to explain.
Although it may SOUND like I'm being harsh with myself, I don't feel that way at all. When revelation comes from God, it's never discouraging to me. In fact, it is exciting! Sure, there's that moment when faced with your own short-comings you think....ugh, yeah---that's me. But when I finally understand something in such a way that I'm sure change is coming in my life, when I'm about to be set free from something that I feel has limited me in so many ways... I want to shout it from the rooftops!
Yeah, I really sucked in this area for YEARS, but God has shown me the way out!
There is nothing as exciting, motivating, and life-changing as a revelation from God. And you know how pretty much everything he does "passeth understanding"? Well, the part that is baffling is no matter what he shows you about where you've gone wrong, there is never even a smidge of condemnation in it. I have no feelings of condemnation.... just the feeling that I'm standing on the very threshold of victory.
Have I mentioned I just love God?
Although it may SOUND like I'm being harsh with myself, I don't feel that way at all. When revelation comes from God, it's never discouraging to me. In fact, it is exciting! Sure, there's that moment when faced with your own short-comings you think....ugh, yeah---that's me. But when I finally understand something in such a way that I'm sure change is coming in my life, when I'm about to be set free from something that I feel has limited me in so many ways... I want to shout it from the rooftops!
Yeah, I really sucked in this area for YEARS, but God has shown me the way out!
There is nothing as exciting, motivating, and life-changing as a revelation from God. And you know how pretty much everything he does "passeth understanding"? Well, the part that is baffling is no matter what he shows you about where you've gone wrong, there is never even a smidge of condemnation in it. I have no feelings of condemnation.... just the feeling that I'm standing on the very threshold of victory.
Have I mentioned I just love God?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
How Does That Make Me Feel?
I'm sure you have heard, as I have, all the jokes directed at Psychiatrists about the overused phrase "And how does that make you feel?" Well, today I'm not laughing so much because I had a personal epiphany that is not pleasant. I'm more selfish than I ever realized.
For some reason it just hit me. Most of what I do is based primarily upon how it makes me feel. Ugh. I hated thinking it, and I hate even more putting it in print. I look at my home life, my work life, my church life... it's all the same. I do the things that make me feel safe, happy, fulfilled, etc. etc. And I avoid the things that make me uncomfortable, scared, insecure, etc. Certainly it's normal to prefer the former over the latter. But to act on it? To make daily decisions based on it? As a born-again, Bible-believing, God-trusting Christian... I don't find that acceptable. I'm not judging anyone else, mind you... I just don't find it acceptable for me.
For crying out loud, I'm almost 48 years old!!! (It's almost my birthday again, which will be my day off from being others-centered and will continue to be all about me!) :o) At this juncture in my life, I would like to think that I would have the confidence to jump right in and do whatever task is before me no matter how it makes me FEEL. I know God. I trust God. I'm aware that he will bring growth to us through every experience, both good and bad. It's time to stop letting fear and self-doubt paralyze me. BECAUSE IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE ABOUT ME.
And how does that make me feel???? Like there needs to be a major overhaul in my thinking. And I think there will be a really sweet freedom in this victory.
For some reason it just hit me. Most of what I do is based primarily upon how it makes me feel. Ugh. I hated thinking it, and I hate even more putting it in print. I look at my home life, my work life, my church life... it's all the same. I do the things that make me feel safe, happy, fulfilled, etc. etc. And I avoid the things that make me uncomfortable, scared, insecure, etc. Certainly it's normal to prefer the former over the latter. But to act on it? To make daily decisions based on it? As a born-again, Bible-believing, God-trusting Christian... I don't find that acceptable. I'm not judging anyone else, mind you... I just don't find it acceptable for me.
For crying out loud, I'm almost 48 years old!!! (It's almost my birthday again, which will be my day off from being others-centered and will continue to be all about me!) :o) At this juncture in my life, I would like to think that I would have the confidence to jump right in and do whatever task is before me no matter how it makes me FEEL. I know God. I trust God. I'm aware that he will bring growth to us through every experience, both good and bad. It's time to stop letting fear and self-doubt paralyze me. BECAUSE IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE ABOUT ME.
And how does that make me feel???? Like there needs to be a major overhaul in my thinking. And I think there will be a really sweet freedom in this victory.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Relationships
When I first decided to give my life for the Kingdom of God, the relationships I had were absolutely essential in helping me to establish a firm foundation. We moved back to Lincoln shortly thereafter, and God led us to a group of people we are still with today. The very first thing I really remember our pastor saying is, "Do you even know if the person sitting next to you is contemplating suicide?" He went on to tell us that if we are going to be the church, if we're going to be able to lay down our lives for one another, if we're really going to be able to love each other...we have to get to know each other.
Leonard and I have been completely sold on this concept ever since. Love God, Love Each Other. It's the church. It's the way it has to be if we're going to be effective. In the old days, our church really shined in this area. We knew how to relate. We knew how to love. But somehow, we were lacking in other areas. We loved each other so much, we never really reached out to anyone else. Somehow, without meaning to, we became very exclusive.
Our pendelum has swung way over to the other side now. We embrace the new people we can bring in... and I love that. Yet, we've lost so much of the relationship aspect of it. I never want to be a Christian that just sees the people God has joined me together with on Sundays. I want to be the church that really loves one another and would lay our lives down for each other in a heartbeat. I want the depth of relationship that can only come from being joined together by the Spirit of God. And, in a sense, Leonard and I have devoted our lives to this. We will probably spend the rest of our days on earth trying to get people together, putting them in situations where they have the opportunity to get to know one another. Love God, Love One Another. It is vital to the life of the church.
I love the fact that our church brings in so many visitors. And I loved having a church where people really want to live life together. I refuse to believe we can't have both.
Leonard and I have been completely sold on this concept ever since. Love God, Love Each Other. It's the church. It's the way it has to be if we're going to be effective. In the old days, our church really shined in this area. We knew how to relate. We knew how to love. But somehow, we were lacking in other areas. We loved each other so much, we never really reached out to anyone else. Somehow, without meaning to, we became very exclusive.
Our pendelum has swung way over to the other side now. We embrace the new people we can bring in... and I love that. Yet, we've lost so much of the relationship aspect of it. I never want to be a Christian that just sees the people God has joined me together with on Sundays. I want to be the church that really loves one another and would lay our lives down for each other in a heartbeat. I want the depth of relationship that can only come from being joined together by the Spirit of God. And, in a sense, Leonard and I have devoted our lives to this. We will probably spend the rest of our days on earth trying to get people together, putting them in situations where they have the opportunity to get to know one another. Love God, Love One Another. It is vital to the life of the church.
I love the fact that our church brings in so many visitors. And I loved having a church where people really want to live life together. I refuse to believe we can't have both.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
