Today I was thinking about all the many stories in the Bible of men who could say this is what God is going to do, then sure enough that's exactly what He did. They really knew Him. They really understood what it was He wanted to do. Is there anyone that can really do that now? I can't think of anyone.
We hope. We pray and we hope. We think we have a pretty good understanding of what He should want to do, based on what we've learned about Him in the Bible. But to stand up and say, this is what God is going to do so prepare for it. We're pretty hit and miss.
I think I know God. I feel like I know His heart. There have been times when I felt that I've really heard His voice. Sometimes I was right, sometimes I was wrong. Or maybe I was never right....maybe it's just the old adage of even a blind squirrel finds an acorn once in awhile.
Right now I'm just suffering in the midst of great disappointment. I really thought I knew what God wanted. I really thought I knew what He would do. And I was wrong. So wrong. I still have faith in Him. I know He knows what He is doing and everything will be okay. I just don't know if I'll ever believe again that I really know Him. Or that I can even hear His voice.
Lord, show me what's true. Show me what to believe and I'll believe it. Reveal Yourself to me.
Because I really, really need to see who you are.
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