If you've spent any time at all reading my entries, you already know what a faithless woman I am. Or totally faithful . . . depending on the moment. Any mature Christian will tell you that your faith in God cannot be based on your emotions. Well, it is and it isn't. That's what I've found to be true in my life, anyway.

For whatever reason, when God created me He saw fit (or thought it would be funny) to equip me with an incredibly strong set of emotions that can come spilling out at any given moment. I've definitely learned that there are positives and negatives to these cards I've been dealt.

Some of the negatives:
Sobbing through every sappy movie ever made
Tendency to respond first, think later
The "lows" are very low
My outlook on life can change with the Nebraska weather

But there are positives. And although poor Leonard has to endure more of the negatives than all of the rest of you put together, he will tell you the positives are the reason he fell in love with me... and he wouldn't have it any other way.

Positives:
Very sensitive not only to my own feelings, but to the feelings of others
A very deep and unquenchable passion for the things I believe in
The "highs" are very high (don't really understand the need for drugs!)
The love I feel for God is a very real and powerful force in my life

"Emotional faith". It used to be that when I heard people say that your faith could not be based on emotion, I thought I had to somehow change my personality. And there have been times that I have tried (to no avail). I have seen people that seem so strong & steady in their faith, and it certainly seemed like something to strive for. But the problem is, it's just not me.

There is nothing worse than going through your Christian life feeling like God wants you to be someone else. Like you were a screw-up, and He really can't take you back into the shop and start over so you have to make the changes now. Or, even if you "give it to God", you are still praying for God to change you into something He would like better. All the while missing the point that He's totally in love with you now.

I have found that I'm the happiest when my emotions are free! I love being able to express how I feel. I love being able to pour my heart out! BUT (isn't there always a "but"?) that doesn't relieve me from the responsibility of maturing as a Christian. Contrary to what I used to think, maturing doesn't mean becoming less emotional. It just means learning not to be so self-centered. And that is the bottom line no matter what personality type you've been given.

So, for all you emotional types out there... these are my pearls of wisdom (given to me as a reward for growing old):
1. When you get to those very low "lows", KNOW that you have to run to God. Unleash everything you're feeling on Him, and let Him be your help. If you're really emotional, chances are you will always have the low times. It's very important that you know where to go with that. God is still God. You don't necessarily have to fight to get out of the valley... just believe that even in these times He will reveal something to you about Himself, and pray that you stay open to whatever He wants to show you.

2. Be careful not to trample the people who may not have as passionate of convictions as you. What you see as a healthy discussion can seem to others like an attack!

3. Fight that urge to respond before thinking! As much as it seems that you have to respond that very moment, you really don't. Think about how you are going to be interpreted. Think about how what you say affects others.

4. And finally.... RELEASE those emotions and be free! Release them to God in whatever form you want! Sing, dance, write, pray. You have the ability to feel the closeness to God that David felt... don't pass up the opportunity. My friend Terri can release all of her love for God through her piano playing. It's the most amazing thing. When I sit in the room with her, I feel like Saul must have felt when David played his lyre. And I can FEEL the presence of God surrounding me. I can FEEL His love. Nothing helps you gain perspective faster than the presence of God. All the things that seem to matter so much suddenly pale in comparison..........

And the whole world sings, "Hosannah, Hosannah in the Highest"