Strengthened by words

Have you ever really realized how much mere words can strengthen you? Or not.

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Whoever authored that little saying was certainly lost in some alternate reality. Words CAN hurt you. Words can scar you. Words continue to play back in your mind over and over again if you let them. And the most devastating effect of all ... choosing to believe them.

But there's good news. Words can also strengthen you. Thank God I am surrounded by people in my life... Leonard, Miriam, Terri... who speak words to me that literally cause me to rise up on the inside and feel that I can go on. Even that I can make a difference. And those are the words I try to play back in my mind over and over again.

At the end of some work days, I leave the office feeling like my soul is in fetal position. I'm not sure I can do my job. I'm not sure I can be a good mom, wife, grandma. I'm not even sure my life is of any use to God. I feel like I'm being beaten down, and I don't have the strength to fight back.

So I write. I write to God mostly. And I tell Him how beaten down I feel (as if He doesn't already know). But the thing about telling God these things is I don't feel worse and worse as I go through all the ways I am incapable and insufficient. I feel better and better, because with Him it's okay to be weak. It's okay to not be enough. Because HE is strong, and HE is always enough. So I just rest. I relax in the midst of His overwhelming presence and I know that everything will be okay. I know He loves me, and I know He will never leave me. And what's more, I know that He inspires me. I know that in my job, He gives me ideas. I know that with my husband and daughters, He gives me words, hope, prayers, and encouragement to offer. And I know that because it's my desire to serve Him with all of my heart, He will use me to build His church. I don't really know how... I still don't see how I can be of much help. But He has a really great record for taking someone like me and being able to do great things in spite of all the human limitations.

So I choose to believe in the magnificence of God! No matter what goes on around me... no matter how up and down life can be... I choose to believe that God is bigger, stronger, wiser, and COMPLETELY capable of dealing with it all. There is something extremely satisfying about knowing I don't have to struggle to be more than I am. I am who God has made me to be at this point in the journey, and I can be okay with that. He continues to be strong. And He continues to hear my prayers when I need to pour my heart out to Him. His shoulders are broad, and His patience is nothing short of amazing.

So when I'm feeling weak and beaten down, I can smile. Why? Because God is truly magnificent!