Old is IN

Am I the only woman on the earth who is enjoying growing old?

There are so many women that are sensitive about their ages, wanting to look younger than they really are.... it seems to be the norm. But here I am 45 and aging, and loving every minute of it! I've gotten to the point where I actually enjoy seeing the new wrinkles and laugh lines . . . they tell a story of the life I've lived. (But I must say, I don't think I'll EVER like gray hair. Not because of growing old, but because I just think it looks icky. Wirey, dead hair. Ick.)

I'm not totally sure why I enjoy growing old so much, but I guess I've got a few ideas. First of all, I had my fill of looking young. I didn't actually start looking my age until I was in my mid-thirties. People would tell me they had no idea I was as old as I was. And honestly, what I heard when they said that was they considered me immature. Couple that with the fact that I actually WAS immature, and it made it kind of a sensitive topic.

Secondly, I was bounce-off-the-wall emotional in my younger years. And along with that tumultuous emotional state, I was irresponsible, manipulative, and controlling of everyone EXCEPT myself. The peace and the calm that has come with age is a very welcome change.

Third, and most importantly, I want to be my grandma. She was the most patient, kind, loving, understanding, and long-suffering person I ever met. The moment Ellie was born, something changed inside of me. Suddenly all I wanted was to be to her what my grandma was to me. Grandma never cared how many wrinkles she had. She never tried to look young. When you saw her, you saw what was on the inside. She lived her life not for herself, but for us . . . she made a profound difference in my life. I would be so proud for people to look at me and see my Grandma, wrinkles and all.

Finally, growing old is normal. It's not just happening to me . . . I'm not the odd one out. This is how it works. It happens to everyone. The odd thing would be for someone to look 21 their whole life. Growing old, passing through all the stages of life -- it's just more of the adventure! God gave us so much to experience in this lifetime . . . and I want to live it all.

So I guess for all those reasons together, I am really enjoying my older years. I've always thought I would really shine as a Grandma, and now I'm in the moment of truth! I'm not responsible for Ellie's upbringing . . . I'm free to enjoy every minute!

And if she remembers me as that old, wrinkly grandma that she loved cuddling on the couch with, I'll just be one happy woman.