FIGHTING RELIGION

I don't know if I've been hearing it more lately or if I've just been noticing it more, but I've noticed the subject of "religion" keeps coming up. I know how I feel about the subject, but it's really hard to discuss something that is defined in so many different ways by so many different people. Some people define religion as Christianity. I am at the other end of the spectrum... I think religion opposes Christianity.

That being said, I think that like most people I struggle with religion every day of my Christian life. As much as I hate it and as damaging as I think it is to relationships, I still find it seeping its way into my everyday life. Is it human nature to turn everything into a routine? That's where it starts with me. God will put something new and exciting in my heart, and I run with it. The next thing I know, it becomes routine. And finally, nothing more than religious ritual.

I don't know if anyone can relate to what I'm saying, but I've seen it even in my own church. We have pretty routine services right now. You could set your watches by them. But it used to be we let our services be "led by the Spirit". That sounds good, but the truth is that even then everything would become routine. We would find something that really impacted us, then we would do it again and again until it became routine and soon, a meaningless ritual. My definition of religion? Meaningless rituals.

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't blame our church. In fact, there could be (and probably are) people that don't even see things the way I do. I think religion is a very personal and internal problem. No one can turn something into a meaningless ritual for you. That's something you do yourself. And it's a big problem for me.

I am not one of those people who can get up and pray every morning at the same time. By day 3, or certainly by at least day 5 . . . . meaningless ritual. Anything I set a time schedule for, it's not long before I'm doing it for no other reason than because it's what I'm supposed to do. We don't pray before every meal for the same reason. When we have special guests, we usually pray before the meal, sometimes because we want to thank God for the special occasion and sometimes because we just think our guests would be uncomfortable NOT praying (nothing to do with my cooking, mind you). Does that mean we're not thankful? Absolutely not. I am SO grateful for God's provision in our lives. I just don't tell Him at the same time in the same way every day. I just can't do it. I hate reading books about the "spiritual disciplines" because they all seem to point to the same thing . . . develop a routine. Doesn't anyone else feel like everything loses its meaning once it becomes a routine? Maybe its just a matter of personality, but the time came when I had to be okay with the fact that I would never be a master of the spiritual disciplines, because for me it would reduce my Christianity to nothing but meaningless ritual.

Now, I wish I was going to tie this all up neatly with a perfectly reasonable solution, but I'm not. I have no solution other than constantly seeking God (which I guess no one could argue with as a pretty good solution in itself). I thank God that He is the master of creativity and that every time I think there couldn't be anything new in our relationship, He shows me something amazing. I am so grateful that His word is alive and that the same passages can speak new things to me at different times.

I just wish that since I hate routines and rituals SO MUCH, that I could figure out why I keep turning everything into one.