Being Alone Together

Why is it that on one day it can seem like life just can't get any better, but the next day I have trouble appreciating anything at all in my life? As near as I can tell, absolutely nothing has changed from yesterday to today. And yet, today I'm in one of those "frumps". And what does God think of my moodiness? Is it a lack of faith? At least a lack of focus?

I don't know, but the fact is it happens. The strange thing is, though, that I kind of feel even closer to God when I'm in one of these moods than when I'm not. How can I feel closer to God when I'm gloomy and unappreciative? It doesn't make any sense.

Then I think about my husband, Leonard. I love all the good times we have together, and those are the times I treasure the most. But one of the things that makes our relationship so much deeper than the other relationships I have is that with him I don't have to be happy and fun all the time. I can be gloomy, upset, irrational, or even just plain boring and he's still right there beside me, loving me. Even so, I know there's got to be times my emotional state is frustrating or at least perplexing to him. That's what gives God the one-up on him.

God is absolutely amazing. Not only is He never frustrated or perplexed with me, He totally understands me at all times. I can't even say that about myself. There are a lot of times when I don't understand myself at all, and it is so comforting to me to know that my life belongs to someone who totally understands every aspect of my life and my personality. When I'm frustrated and gloomy (usually I'm frustrated BECAUSE I'm gloomy), I feel a strange sense of peace just knowing He is near me. He is the one that keeps me from feeling like I'm totally misunderstood and completely alone. And even though I often have nothing to say to Him at these times, I can feel Him near me. And as I sit with Him, I know He doesn't mind that I'm not full of vision and hope today. Let's just sit here together and when you're ready, I'll help you up. His voice brings peace and comfort to my heart. And once again, He lets me know it's okay to be me.