Just Checking....

When my daughter, Rachel, was young she was afraid of the basement. So, being the nurturing mother, I would try to comfort her by standing at the top of the stairs and telling her, "I'll wait right here until you get back." She was so brave as she descended the stairs! But apparently she had serious doubts as to whether I would hold true to my promise, because every third step she'd turn to see if I was still there. I told her over and over that I would stay there, and out of all the trips she made to the basement, I NEVER left. I just couldn't understand why she didn't believe me.

But what is it that makes that so hard for me to understand? I do the very same thing to God.

Since Leonard and I have become fully responsible for running our office, I have had a few trust issues of my own. I am certain that God brought us to this place . . . we have seen His hand in it from the beginning. He orchestrated everything in a way we wouldn't have even thought possible. He's given us every reason to trust Him.

But I can't tell you how many times I've turned to see if He is still there.

Faith is a peculiar thing . . . it seems like it should be so easy. God does all the real work. All He asks of us is to believe, to trust. And it's not like He's asking us to trust someone who has a terrible track record. We have years of proof that God watches over us. We have example after shining example of how He's come through for us. And even when times were hard, the incredible love and support He gave us is forever etched into our hearts. He is so trustworthy.

I know this. Anyone who knows God knows this. Then what is it that makes it so difficult to just trust Him? What is it that makes us think we need to maintain some of the control, just in case He leaves us high and dry? What is it that makes us think it's still possible that we may have a better plan than Him?

In the book of John it tells us that if we love Him, we will obey Him. I once looked through John for everything Jesus was asking us to do. And you know what I found over and over again? Love me, trust me, abide in me. That's the key to it all. It sounds so easy, but for some reason it's just so hard to let go of the control. It just doesn't come naturally to let someone else have control of our destinies. In fact, I would even say it's impossible . . . outside the power of His spirit.

And so I pray. I want to trust Him. I want to lay my whole life at His feet. And the times when I do, I find something that has the whole world baffled . . . His peace. The peace that not even we can understand. The more I learn to let go, the more I feel His peace in the midst of it all. It may take a lifetime, but I really want to learn to give control to Him. I want to trust Him. I want His peace.

And when it comes right down to it, it's just in knowing that He's standing at the top of the stairs . . . and He's not going anywhere.