Happiness is Chasing Me

My grandfather used to say that after he met my grandma, he chased her until she caught him. In his eyes he was able to pursue her, all the while making her think she was the one doing the chasing! I never figured out what really happened because when he would say that, my grandma would just smile. Something tells me she had a different perspective of their courtship.

We've been talking in our small group about friendship/relationships. We have discovered that you measure a true friend not by what they are to you, but by what you are to them. Real, true friendship happens when you decide to make a deep commitment to someone. That is God's perspective. Our natural tendency is to measure a friend by what they are to us... they are there when we need them, they talk us through hard times, they are encouraging.... But in reading what God has to say about relationships, we find that we should think about how we would like them to treat us, and take the initiative and treat them that way! We find that our relationships are all about laying our lives down for our friends. The Bible just really doesn't say much about how people should treat us. It's all about how we should treat them.

So, as I was thinking about my grandparents and God's perspective vs. human perspective, it got me to thinking about happiness. (My mind flies from one topic to another in a matter of seconds... it drives Leonard crazy!) As I was growing up, I would have to honestly say that I chased happiness. I wanted so much to be happy, and at a young age I started the pattern. "If only I could have this, then I would be happy. Now if I could have that, I would really be happy. But none of it matters anymore unless this boy likes me... then I'll be happy."

And so it continued well into my adult life. Even once I began to follow God, I just began asking Him for the things that would make me happy. And I would seriously wonder about His love for me when He didn't do it... didn't He want me to be happy? But the problem was my perspective. I was seeing things from the human perspective I had learned. God's perspective about happiness, as it is with most things, is backwards from human perspective.

When I am chasing happiness, I am centered on myself and my own needs. And one of those pearls of wisdom I have gained through growing old is that as long as we are centered on ourselves, we will never really be happy. Everything the world has taught us is about looking out for ourselves. All that God teaches is about looking out for others.

So, I began quite some time ago trying to re-train my mind. (Although I've resolved myself to the fact that this is going to be a lifelong process) I now try to focus on what I can do for others. How can I help them succeed? What will make them happy? How can I encourage them? What could I do to help make their lives better? And you know what happens without me even trying? I feel happy.

Now, time and time again I catch myself going back to being self-centered. But I've come to quickly recognize the tell-tale signs of it ... suddenly I'm not so happy. When I start focusing on myself again, the happiness just dissipates. And that's my cue to start looking from God's perspective. It doesn't fit with what we have learned in the world, but it's the only thing that really works. Take care of others and God will take care of you. Put your focus on the needs of others. Take care of His sheep. Lay down your life for them.

When I am doing that, I glance behind me... and you know what I see? Happiness is chasing me.