Pulling Away from the Crowd

We went camping this past holiday weekend and I sure feel rejuvenated. It doesn't make sense, mind you, that I feel rejuvenated -- there was a lot of work involved and I STILL don't have everything put away from our return. But something about pulling away from the city and sitting out in the quiet countryside rejuvenates my soul. And for anyone who has ever enjoyed camping, I probably don't even need to mention the healing power of a hotdog roasted over a campfire. Absolutely miraculous.


Time stands still when you go camping. It doesn't matter when you get up, when you eat, when you nap... schedules are non-existent and totally unnecessary. And my favorite part of all? Talking. Talking while setting up the tents, talking while making dinner, talking while sitting around the campfire. We share so much of ourselves during these weekends... talking and listening, really hearing.


I should mention we aren't hard-core campers. We found a nice spot out in the pasture on Jerry & Rebekah's ranch, and Jerry mowed us a little trail to the house that led to the indoor bathroom. Real campers would scoff. We also had Jerry's horses nearby that Aaron saddled up a couple of times. There's nothing like a nice ride in the country to clear your mind and soothe your soul.

So, the 3-day weekend is over, but I find myself energized and ready to face life with a little more passion, creativity, and even a little more laughter than before.

Pulling away for awhile just does that to me.

Having Access

I was talking to my friend, Terri, the other day about this incredible revelation I got. And, of course, the revelation came in time of crisis.

There was a terrible mistake made on an order for one of my clients last week. It was a really big deal. The mistake wasn't my fault. In fact it was out of my control. But as the distributor, even if it's beyond my control the responsibility rests with me. A control-freak's nightmare, to be sure.

I skipped Small Group on Wednesday night because I desperately needed some alone time with God. Then I holed up in the basement and I prayed. I cried out to God, I wrote to God, I read comforting passages from the Bible. I cried out to God again. And it seemed I kept coming back to the same plea: "Lord, please give me wisdom to deal with this. Give me wisdom that's beyond my own abilities. Give me Your wisdom."

And you know what? Out of nowhere came this amazing peace and clarity. I knew what I needed to do. A mere thirty minutes before that, my head was spinning. I had NO IDEA what I should do. I believe God gave me His wisdom to use... and was I ever grateful. I slept well that night and woke up in a great mood. I knew what I needed to do, I went to work and I did it. And everyone involved was very pleased with the outcome.

The most important thing about all of this is I learned something about God that I really didn't understand before. I'm sure I've asked for wisdom from Him before, maybe in a more generic sort of way. And I guess I knew (again in a generic sort of way) that what He has is ours. But I don't think I've ever experienced such an incredible one-to-one exchange with Him. It was literally like walking up to Him and saying, "Can I borrow your fluffy pillow?" and Him saying, "Oh, sure... here you go." I've had plenty of one-on-one encounters with Him (which I do LOVE!) but an exchange like this? I'm not sure I've ever had one... at least it sure didn't impact me like this. This whole experience has opened my eyes once again to the depths of His love. He is always, always there for me.

And you know what? I fell in love with Him all over again that night.

It's easy to be sad on a gloomy day

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to be sad on a rainy, gloomy day? Maybe I should have been a farmer, so I could learn to appreciate it more. But instead I sit here with an attitude similar to the children of Israel, who got so tired of seeing (and eating) manna.

Manna was a miraculous provision for a very LARGE group of people. And, similarly, rain is a very necessary provision for us. Aside from all the "we would all die without it" attributes, rain makes everything beautiful. Many of the things I love are the way they are because of rain. The green grass, beautiful trees and flowers, even the lakes (if you can really call them that in Nebraska)... the rain helps them to be what they are. I should welcome the rain. I should rejoice in the rain. And I think I really could....

if only it didn't bring such gloominess. If only it could rain while the sun is shining brightly.............

Oh, how quickly I forget. The sun IS shining. It never, ever stops. If I got on a plane right now and flew above these dreary clouds, I would find the sun shining just as brightly as always.

And I have to think... maybe it's good for us now and then to remember we can believe in more than what we see.

The grass is greener if you love what you have!

Sometimes I let myself slip into the place where I don't fully appreciate what I have. Today was one of those days.

I was sitting at work just wishing I could go home, wondering why I couldn't win the lottery and spend the rest of my life vacationing. And then it hit me. I have everything I've ever wanted. Not just some of it... ALL of it!

From the time I was a little girl, all I wanted was to get married and have a family. I wanted a home that we could fill with memories. I wanted to experience real family life, real love.

I remember after the girls were born I was working full-time and praying every day in my journal that somehow I could stay home with them. Within a couple of years, God answered that prayer. I even got to Homeschool them for a year... what an incredible experience! And now I have a job where I actually get to work with my husband every day. We get the opportunity to build lots of new relationships, and we have an incredibly flexible schedule where we can make time to volunteer at City Impact, help with church events, or be there for our family when they need it. What an amazing place we are in right now.

And there I sat, wishing for something else. For a moment, I thought the grass might be greener elsewhere. But then I realized it's lush and green right here where I am. I just need to open my eyes.

Living Life Purposefully

I've heard a lot about living life purposefully in the last year or so. Or maybe I've heard it all along but I'm paying closer attention now. It seems like every day I live, it becomes clearer and clearer to me that there are things that just don't matter much and other things that will matter forever. Sometimes we're in tune to that, and sometimes we're not.

We talked in our small group last night about what brought us to the point that we knew we wanted to spend the rest of our lives near God. I don't know if you would find the same statistics in every group, but seven out of eight of us realized how desperately we needed God in the midst of crisis. If you let it, crisis can really give you clarity.

Remember 9/11? Churches were filling up. Have you ever attended the funeral of a young person? People are acutely aware of the things that really matter. Crisis tends to bring you to the place where you realize you have nowhere to turn but to God. You can't fix it. No one can help you. What you've done all your life no longer works.

Although those times are generally some of the most painful we could ever experience, they can also become the most profound. It is at those times that many realize there is one... and only One... who can help us. There is only one who can comfort us. There is only one who can see us through to a clearer and more meaningful life. And the best part of all?

After all this time, He's standing there with open arms.

Writing our stories....

I'd like to share a little excerpt from an e-mail I received this morning:

You are writing a story with your life. Think of the days like pages and the years like chapters. What is the theme of your story? What is the plot, and who are the main characters?
What pieces of your story are working, and which aren't? How does your story inspire others; what do people learn from it?
If you continue on the current course, how will your story turn out? (Dondi Scumaci)

Have you ever really thought about how much our decisions, attitudes, beliefs, and actions affect our life stories? I love thinking about it. I'm not just living day to day, I'm creating a story with my life. What do I want the theme to be? Who do I want to play leading roles? What adventures do I want to be sure are included?

We have a tremendous amount of input on the stories of our lives. I know we're pre-destined by God, and I don't pretend to understand where one begins and the other ends, but I know we have a lot of control over the direction our lives take. Think about it. We get to choose most of the characters we let become part of our world. Most of our story lines are shaped by choices we've made or even by responses we've had to things that were beyond our control.

And the beautiful thing is... if something isn't working, we can make choices to change it. We don't always have control over how long it will take, how difficult it will be, or even if we'll reach our final destination. But we have total control over how hard we'll try, when we'll give up, what our attitude will be along the way. AND we can weave in as many sub-plots as we want, and declare as many victories as we want along the way! It's our story. It's our lives. These should be the most creative manuscripts of all.

Don't ever be ungrateful....

At the beginning of the year, I posted my New Year's Resolution above my computer. I vowed to live life more slowly, enjoy each moment. And I ended with an italicized "And don't ever be ungrateful" so I would be especially careful to guard against this particular state of mind that tends to creep in ever so quietly.

Whenever I make a point of stopping to think about all that God has given us, my heart overflows with gratitude. We feel so blessed to have Him in our lives. We feel so blessed to have all our family and friends. We feel so blessed to get to experience life in this world and see all the creativity He's used in laying it all out. But all too often, that's not what I stop to think about. I spend more time than I'd like to admit thinking about all the deadlines, responsibilities, scheduling conflicts, and other demands of life. And what happens to that heart that's so full of gratitude? It gets buried somewhere in the bottom of it all. And all I really "feel" is pressure.

That is exactly what I wanted to learn to overcome when I so carefully taped my New Year's Resolution on the wall 3 months ago. And to some degree, I'd say it's working. When I start feeling weighed down by all the pressure, I now recognize it as an early-warning sign. Kind of like the tornado siren going off before the tornado gets here. And the little voice in my head (the rest of you do hear little voices, don't you??) says, "Don't ever be ungrateful." Don't ever be ungrateful.

Those words snap me back into reality. He has given us so much. Things that really matter.

And the last thing I would ever want is for Him to think that I'm not grateful.