Is there a line?

A couple of weeks ago, it hit me! Finally, after 19 1/2  years of living in our house, I figured out exactly what I wanted to do to the back of it. I've always known I wanted to knock out the back and put a rounded breakfast nook with LOTS of windows looking out to the back yard. But I've never really known what would happen to the upstairs. I kind of thought maybe just a double-decker deck of some sort. But then it hit me. I would extend the sunroom that is up there and make it into a rec room! How fun! We would have plenty of room for entertaining... get a pool table that converts to a ping-pong table, and a shuffle board table. We'd put a few high top tables along each side. It was a perfect idea!

Leonard and I were so excited with the vision.... but it didn't last. You see, I have this inner dilemma. The thought of making our already-sufficient home into something nicer when I know there are people who are LOSING their homes, or who have needs that are so much greater than ours.... that really, really, really bothers me.

Don't get me wrong... I do not begrudge people what they have. I don't think it's a sin to be rich or have possessions as long as you live with a generous heart. But is there a line? And where is it? I think it's something each of us have to determine for ourselves. But I'm having a little trouble with mine.

Can I spend however many thousands of dollars it would take to remodel our house when I know people are living at the City Mission? On the other end of the spectrum.... Can I spend $20 on a pizza when I know there are people who are hungry? (Let me assure you...I can.) But should that bother me just as much? And what about everything in between that we buy? The phones, the computers, the furniture... replacing them just because there's something better out there.

There are so many people with needs and struggles that I can't even begin to understand. People who live without ANYTHING every single day. What about them? We think of them when there are earthquakes and it's all over the news. But when they're quietly starving to death or dehydrating from a lack of clean drinking water.... as long as we don't pay attention, we can go on with our lives.

Is this why Mother Teresa lived the way she did? Did she have a true understanding of how important it is to care for the people with real needs? How did she get to the place where she could freely give up everything just for the privilege of taking care of those who needed her? What if we ALL gave up everything we have to take care of those who need us? What would the world look like?

So many questions. And that nagging, underlying knowledge that I can make it all go away just by not thinking about it.

God, help me. Help me to really understand what it is you have for me to do.