How Does That Make Me Feel?

I'm sure you have heard, as I have, all the jokes directed at Psychiatrists about the overused phrase "And how does that make you feel?" Well, today I'm not laughing so much because I had a personal epiphany that is not pleasant. I'm more selfish than I ever realized.

For some reason it just hit me. Most of what I do is based primarily upon how it makes me feel. Ugh. I hated thinking it, and I hate even more putting it in print. I look at my home life, my work life, my church life... it's all the same. I do the things that make me feel safe, happy, fulfilled, etc. etc. And I avoid the things that make me uncomfortable, scared, insecure, etc. Certainly it's normal to prefer the former over the latter. But to act on it? To make daily decisions based on it? As a born-again, Bible-believing, God-trusting Christian... I don't find that acceptable. I'm not judging anyone else, mind you... I just don't find it acceptable for me.

For crying out loud, I'm almost 48 years old!!! (It's almost my birthday again, which will be my day off from being others-centered and will continue to be all about me!)  :o)   At this juncture in my life, I would like to think that I would have the confidence to jump right in and do whatever task is before me no matter how it makes me FEEL. I know God. I trust God. I'm aware that he will bring growth to us through every experience, both good and bad. It's time to stop letting fear and self-doubt paralyze me. BECAUSE IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE ABOUT ME.

And how does that make me feel???? Like there needs to be a major overhaul in my thinking. And I think there will be a really sweet freedom in this victory.