In this world but not of it....

Sometimes its just really hard not to believe life is all about what's here in our little worlds. We live our lives day in and day out and we struggle through the trials and celebrate the victories. And sometimes it's hard to remember that this is just a very small part of something much, much bigger. Something much more important. Something long-lasting. Eternal.

I think during the victories it doesn't bother me so much to have too much focus on my own little world. But boy, when the trials come my heart, mind, and soul scream out for something else .... anything else ... to be more important than what may be happening at that point in time. Most of my biggest struggles have to do with work. I am in sales but am a distributor, which means I'm kind of a go-between. My clients need to buy something, I find the best source to get it done and handle all the information that goes on between them. But it often leaves me in the position of having limited control. If the source does not do the job right or on time, it's not their fault, it's mine.

This has been a week of fault. My fault. There is nothing I could have done to make things go right, short of flying out to the plant and doing it myself, but the buck stops with me and it's my fault. If the plant does the job wrong, it affects my client's confidence in me.

So when everything goes wrong it tends to really get me down. I suppose it has a lot to do with a deeply-seated issue of wanting people to be pleased with me. I want my clients to be able to have total confidence in me, and I want my bosses to be pleased with the job I'm doing. But sometimes. . . in spite of all my greatest efforts . . . it all just falls apart.

Those are the times that if it's all about this, I'm in trouble. Leonard and I pray every morning for God's guidance. We pray that he will give us creativity and help us to do the very best for our clients. We pray that our business will prosper and that our clients' businesses will prosper. We then leave it in His hands. Our trust is in Him.

So I guess that's why I'm putting this in print today. I need to profess to the world (and in writing so I can check back on it now and then) that my trust is in Him alone. I will do the best I can. I will keep the best motives I can. But my life belongs to God, and I trust Him. I trust Him to show me the things that will help me grow the most; I trust Him to use me to encourage and help others to grow; and most of all I trust Him to be near me through whatever this life brings my way.

And as long as He is near me, there is nothing else I really need.