Blog-Slacker

Yes, that's me. I have been a blog-slacker. There's no point in having a cell phone if you don't ever turn it on, there's no point in having an e-mail address if you don't ever check it, and certainly there's no point in having a blog if you don't write in it.

In my defense, I have been buried in work since I got back from our winter sales conference. But quite honestly, I just haven't had a lot to say lately. That hardly ever happens to me. I ALWAYS have something to say. Kind of makes me wonder what's up.

My life has taken a turn. As I mentioned before, Leonard and I are working together now (which I LOVE) and also our girls have moved out of the house. I'm getting used to the girls being gone now, and I'm even beginning to enjoy the quiet life that Leonard and I have together. We've been recording some mini-series off the Hallmark channel and we often cuddle up on the loveseat in the evenings to watch an episode. Most of them are on the dumb side. But we don't mind dumb.

All that to say, it's caused this strange feeling to come over me. I think I have nothing to say because I'm in a place where I'm not sure what's next. I'm not really wanting to come up with a plan and then pray for God to bless it. I just feel like it's time to enjoy what I have and wait to see where God leads us next. I'm entering a stage of my life that is unfamiliar territory. And it's probably the first time in my life that I've been able to be so unsure of what's next, yet so calm. (I've been a bit of a control-freak through the years... ALWAYS needing to know what's coming) I have no idea what is next for Leonard and I. But I also feel great peace.

Dan gave Leonard a handout at the last leader's meeting called "The Freedom to Live Loved". It lists a lot of different truths to ponder, but two of them in particular have been on my mind.

1. He wants to free us from the preoccupation of "getting from God" so we can simply live in the reality of what God gives.
2. The greatest freedom in this kingdom is from the tyranny of your own desires, agendas and plans.

I think that explains where I'm at right now better than anything else. I can remember so many times through the years, finding needs or injustices and crying out to God, "God, over here!" and "Now, God, come over here!!" The things were legitimate, I think. And I don't think God minded my prayers for His intervention. But I sense a different direction now. Now is the time to listen. Now is the time to wait for God's direction and follow. I'm not making any plans, I'm not going to try to fulfill any of my desires. Any agenda that's made will be made by God.

And somehow I know His plan will be just perfect.