Holding out for what God wants to do....

If there is one thing I've learned over the past few weeks, it's that my ways most definitely are NOT God's ways. I have prayed and prayed for things to turn out just the way I want them to. And if God really loves me, if God really cares, He'll do what I want, right? That's the attitude we often have, whether we like to admit it or not. God proves His love to us by answering our prayers the way we want them answered.

Now, I'm still on the path of discovering what the power of prayer really is, and it's a journey that's far from over. As I've mentioned in the past, it's easy for me to believe God loves us and He knows what He is doing. It's easy for me to just trust that His decisions are right. But where does prayer come into that? Does He always just do what's best for us? Or does He sometimes do what we want, what we pray for, even if He knows that's not the best thing? Is that what we really WANT Him to do? Wouldn't we rather He do the best thing, since He has quite a bit more information than we do? Are there times when the best thing doesn't happen unless we pray? These are the questions I long to find answers for.

Meanwhile, my son-in-law is in Mexico. We love him with all our hearts. He came to the U.S. when he was 16 years old with the best of intentions and the most loving of hearts. He knew his mom couldn't provide for him and his five siblings. He tried the best he could to help in Mexico, but couldn't make enough money to help. So he left his home, his security, everything he knew to come to the U.S. He didn't understand the language or the culture. I think he had some understanding as to how dangerous it was to cross the border... as much understanding as a 16 year old boy has of danger. But he did it... out of love for his family. I am amazed at how incredibly brave he was at just 16 years old.

Since that time, he has been a hard worker. He married my daughter and worked hard to provide for her and their children. Since they have been together, we have always encouraged him to do the right thing. At the top of the list was going back to Mexico so he could come over legally. We did all the paperwork, everything they required to prove it would be an extreme hardship on my daughter if he were not to return to the U.S. The lawyer said there should be no problems...it was one of the strongest cases he had ever presented, and he's done a lot of them. But, he said, they can do whatever they want to do.

Aaron went to the American Consulate in Mexico, presented the hardship waiver, and they said we failed to prove it would be an extreme hardship on Rachel if he didn't return and we need to submit more evidence. Then they said they would give us another answer in A YEAR. I'm not sure what else we can submit. He is their sole source of income. They have never had to be on any assistance whatsoever, but now Rachel will be forced to apply for assistance for herself and their children. She is pregnant, due to deliver in September. It will be a huge emotional strain on her trying to raise three children all by herself, all while mourning the loss of her husband. It will be horrible for the children to live without their father. They are talking about ripping apart a family and they want to know why that would be a hardship. How hardened have we really become?

Rachel went down to Mexico to be with Aaron because they didn't want their family to be apart, and it should have taken only two months at the most for him to come back. Since their waiver was not approved, she thought maybe they could make it in Mexico. She said even if it were hard, the family needed to be together.

Tearfully, she is coming back this week. Aaron can't make enough money to provide for them there. He hasn't found a job yet and the most he could hope to make when he does is about 1000 pesos ($100) a week. Rachel has found that everything is as expensive (or more expensive) down there than it is here. They just can't make it. So they were forced to make the impossible, yet necessary, decision that she and the kids must come back without him.

We all have heavy hearts. He is our son now. We love him. He's not a nameless, faceless illegal immigrant. He is our son. He is the father of our grandchildren. We prayed, we fasted. The church prayed and fasted. But he is still in Mexico.

I'm sure God's hand is at work. I don't know what the plan is, but I know He will work it all for good. Our prayers weren't answered the way we wanted them to be, but I have enough years under my belt that I know when all looks lost, God comes shining through.

But at the same time, we are just sad. We miss him. We love him. Lord, bring him home as soon as you can.

And if there happens to be anyone out there who has more clout than we do, we'd appreciate any and all help. Oprah, are you listening?