Words aren't enough.

I've always been a big fan of the written word. I've always felt there is such power in being able to take others to a place that may only exist inside of you, and help them experience it.

But then there are times like this when words seem to trivialize everything. They aren't enough. There aren't any words big enough or powerful enough to convey all the emotions that come with losing someone at a time that seems all too soon. We weren't done with him. There was so much more life we wanted to live with him.

Dan Thompson taught the people of our church to be genuine. He had little tolerance for a church environment where people had to put on a happy face and act like they had it all together. And he had even less tolerance for a church environment that was harsh and judgmental.

But he loved mercy. He loved grace. He loved being able to accept people for who they are, embracing both the good and the bad, and helping them along their journey no matter what point they may find themselves at.

He taught us to love God with all of our hearts. And he taught us to really, genuinely, deeply love each other. To lay our lives down for each other. And the last few years were spent teaching us to take that love outside the church. Don't just be nice to people .... really care about them. Really love them. And that is how they will see the heart of Jesus.

There is numbness. There are tears. There is laughter and memories. Most of all, there will be friendship. Hugging, crying, grieving. There may not be any words. But there will be people laying down their lives to help each other cope.

Because that's how Dan Thompson taught us to live.

I'll never, ever let you down

I went with a couple of friends to see "The Book of Eli" the other night. Wow... what a story. It was pretty slow moving in the beginning, but by the end of the movie the storyline was etched into my soul.

I wonder how I will respond if life as I know it drastically changes? I so admired Denzel's character and his unwavering devotion to God. That's what I envision for myself if the time ever comes. I will be the one who willingly steps into the fiery furnace. I will face the lions. I won't let anyone stop me from proclaiming my great love for God loudly and boldly. I will never back down. Yes, that's what I imagine in my head. And that's what I truly hope for.

But what goes on in my head is not necessarily what plays out in reality. (Trust me... if it were, I'd be a much better person than I am). Remember Peter? Who could have been more devoted to Jesus than him? But when the chips were down, he choked. Oh, it wasn't the end of the story for him. And it wouldn't be for me either. God is so willing to help us back up again... to give us the strength to try again.... to use every failure to build us up. He is a loving and merciful God. And for that I am so grateful.

But my prayer is that no matter what I face in the future, I will be able to stand steadfastly for God. I pray that my love for him wins out over any obstacle, any amount of suffering. I pray that what I feel for him in my heart will be the reality of my life.

And life as we know it doesn't have to change at all for this to be the deepest cry of my heart.

Pushing Through

I know I've mentioned this before, but I'm on a mission to overcome my fears. Not to stop having fear, but to stop letting the fear control what I do. I find this fear shows up most in my workplace. As you know, I'm in sales. I love what I do... I love helping my clients find the perfect items to work with whatever event they're planning. I especially love finding gifts for employees to help them feel appreciated. I have good relationships with my clients and it's easy to work with them. That's right down my alley.

The part that is not so much down my alley is going out to find new clients. For some reason, that just causes fear to rise up inside of me (not good for a sales rep). I love to help people and I WANT to help in any way I can. But walking up and talking to people I don't know has ALWAYS frightened me. And here I am in a job where I need to learn to do just that.

I was praying about it awhile back, and I felt God showed me this is something I need to get a handle on. Not just for work, not just to make more sales... but so I'm able to do the things God has for me to do. There could be many reasons I wound up in a job like this. But I know for sure that he is using it to shape me. He is using it to teach me, refine me, and to cause me to grow.

And that is where the encouragement came in. I love when God encourages me. It carries a lot of weight, because He tends to be right about a lot of stuff. And what I feel I heard from God is that I can do this...even without the absence of fear. I can talk to people I don't know, whether I fear it or not. I can do it.

So this is my goal: To do what I know I need to do. And instead of trying to ease my fears, I'm going to walk out and do it right in the midst of my fears.

I may indeed have fear....but it can only control me if I let it.