Faith--the general, non-specific kind

Days like today make me wonder how deep my faith really is. Is there any depth or meaning to it at all? Or is it a very generic sort of faith? Let me back up a little bit.

I have no trouble having faith in God. I have faith that he will always be there for us. Faith that no matter what happens, good or bad, he will walk through it with us and we will be okay. I have faith that he knows what he is doing and we need to just let him do it. But that kind of blows to pieces my faith in the power of prayer.

Rachel & Aaron are getting married on December 5th. Aaron has not seen his mom since he was 16 years old. Because it would mean SO MUCH to Aaron to have his mom at the wedding, and to have her see her only grandchildren for the very first time, we spent the last few months lining up everything she would need to be able to get here for the big event.

There was a big obstacle to overcome in that Aaron's aunt on his dad's side (through a complex set of circumstances) had the deed to Aaron's mom's house. This is one of the things she really needed before she went to her meeting to see if she could come, because the big issue is if she is financially stable enough that they believe she won't just try to stay here. Amazingly, when Aaron's mom went to her to offer to somehow buy back the deed to the house, her heart softened and she just let her have it, free and clear.

Rachel's eyes were full of light as she confidently told Aaron that she believed God softened his aunt's heart, that no one else could have done that. She told him she knew at that point that God would make a way for his mom to be at the wedding. She had total faith that God would come through.

Up until today when Aaron's mom had the meeting and they denied her request to come. They consider her a flight risk because she doesn't have a lot of money. Rachel called me, crying. She knew how much Aaron wanted his mom to be here.

I assured Rachel that it's not over until it's over. They said she could get a lawyer and still try to come, so I said that's what we'll do. We'll get a lawyer. But I was so disappointed. I hate to put this in print, but I was disappointed in God. I know he will always take care of us. I know we will all be okay. But this meant so much to Aaron and Rachel, and they were counting on him to soften the hearts that needed to be softened, and to make a way where there was no way. I know God is not some genie in a bottle that just does whatever we want him to do. But Aaron & Rachel are young and just learning to put their trust in him. I thought he'd throw them a bone.

I know that sounds like I think God is mean... I really don't. I know he is a loving and kind God. I'm just struggling with some major disappointment here. My hope is that if we continue to pray and put our trust in him, he will still make a way for her to be here. But I'm afraid to tell Rachel and Aaron to trust that he will make a way.... just in case he doesn't. Because we all know he doesn't always do what we want him to do.

And this is where my dilemma is. I'm fine with just letting God do whatever he thinks is right. I trust that he is well-informed and knows the right thing to do. But where does prayer come into this? I don't even like the whole concept of having faith when we pray because then when it doesn't happen, it makes me question WHY we are supposed to have faith when we pray.

I wind up going back to my comfy place of having faith that God knows what he's doing and I need to trust him. But is that making excuses for God?? Is that my way of saying God is not moved by our prayers and we just need to be okay with that? I believe I serve a God who is big enough that he doesn't need us to make excuses for him when he doesn't come through. He is the God of the universe and he knows the best thing to do at all times.

....................but what do I tell Rachel and Aaron?
That is my question for God.

I'll keep you posted.