After the fall...me & Whitney Houston

I'm a big Whitney Houston fan. Even though I've never met her, I have spent considerable time praying for her the last few years. Here was a woman who knew Jesus. She knew Him. But she fell, and she fell hard....... And all the world saw it.

I know from personal experience what it's like to have everyone you know see you fall hard. I can't imagine adding to that everyone who lives on the planet. I just watched her interview with Oprah yesterday and she was very open about how even when she was still in the midst of it all, she cried out to God to help her. She cried out for strength. And she loved Him so much and was so humbled by the fact that He still loved her and never left her. I can so relate to that.

I had a "vision" during the darkest time of my life. I was actually driving down the street and it was almost Easter. I was thinking about how foolish the religious leaders were to kill Jesus. Then I heard a voice within me say,

"I didn't die because of them. I died because of you."

I immediately saw in my mind Jesus collapsed on the ground on top of the cross. I was huddled over one of his outstretched arms, and was horrified to see I had a huge spike in one hand and a mallet in the other. As the sin of my life began to play before my eyes I began driving the spike into his hand. I was sobbing..... I didn't want to be doing that to him and I tried to stop. Yet something else would come to mind and I'd hit that horrible spike into his hand again. He would writhe in pain, and I would cry all the harder. I knew the pain I was causing him, and I knew he didn't deserve it. It was my sin. It should have been me. But I just continued to hurt him.

After what seemed like an eternity, I lifted my head and looked toward him. With horrible pain in his eyes, he was looking right at me. I was so ashamed and so, so sorry. I couldn't imagine what he must be thinking, yet I couldn't look away. He looked at me for the longest time.

What happened next completely changed my life. Of all the things he could have said to me right then, of all the things he could have said as I knelt there with a mallet in my hand . . . . . he looked into my eyes and said,

"You're going to make it."

I will never forget that moment. I began sobbing right there in my car. For the first time in a long, long time, I knew I was going to be okay. I was going to recover. I was going to make it. And it was because of Him. It was because of his great love.

Whitney Houston knew everyone saw her fall. Would they hate her? Would they reject her? She had no way of knowing. All she could do was fix her eyes on Jesus and stand up & start using the gifts he'd given her once again. She couldn't control people's reactions, and she didn't try to. I was sooooo happy to hear she came out with another cd, and I pre-ordered it so I could get it right when it came out. If you haven't heard the title track "I Look to You" check it out  here ... it's an awesome song. And the really amazing thing? She said R Kelly wrote this song for her TEN YEARS AGO. Ten years ago, God knew how much she was going to need this song.

Way to go, Whitney.