Having Access

I was talking to my friend, Terri, the other day about this incredible revelation I got. And, of course, the revelation came in time of crisis.

There was a terrible mistake made on an order for one of my clients last week. It was a really big deal. The mistake wasn't my fault. In fact it was out of my control. But as the distributor, even if it's beyond my control the responsibility rests with me. A control-freak's nightmare, to be sure.

I skipped Small Group on Wednesday night because I desperately needed some alone time with God. Then I holed up in the basement and I prayed. I cried out to God, I wrote to God, I read comforting passages from the Bible. I cried out to God again. And it seemed I kept coming back to the same plea: "Lord, please give me wisdom to deal with this. Give me wisdom that's beyond my own abilities. Give me Your wisdom."

And you know what? Out of nowhere came this amazing peace and clarity. I knew what I needed to do. A mere thirty minutes before that, my head was spinning. I had NO IDEA what I should do. I believe God gave me His wisdom to use... and was I ever grateful. I slept well that night and woke up in a great mood. I knew what I needed to do, I went to work and I did it. And everyone involved was very pleased with the outcome.

The most important thing about all of this is I learned something about God that I really didn't understand before. I'm sure I've asked for wisdom from Him before, maybe in a more generic sort of way. And I guess I knew (again in a generic sort of way) that what He has is ours. But I don't think I've ever experienced such an incredible one-to-one exchange with Him. It was literally like walking up to Him and saying, "Can I borrow your fluffy pillow?" and Him saying, "Oh, sure... here you go." I've had plenty of one-on-one encounters with Him (which I do LOVE!) but an exchange like this? I'm not sure I've ever had one... at least it sure didn't impact me like this. This whole experience has opened my eyes once again to the depths of His love. He is always, always there for me.

And you know what? I fell in love with Him all over again that night.