The Choice

My friend, Karolynn, forwards me The Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotional every day. I actually look forward to it because it almost always inspires me in one way or another. Today's devotional was especially timely... it was about surrendering to God.

I'm sure we've all heard it before. We know. We need to surrender EVERYTHING to God. What a good idea. But not so easy, my friends. It would seem that every time I think I have surrendered absolutely everything I possibly could to God, something pops up that I see I'm still trying to maintain control over. I've resigned myself to the fact that this is a lifelong process. Surrender what you can, discover even more you can surrender, and learn to surrender that. The processes don't annoy me like they used to. I've finally realized the great value in the time it takes to get from Point A to Point B.

But what I really want to talk about is one specific line that was in this devotional. It was talking about how if you don't surrender to God, you surrender to something, whether it be popular opinion, to money, to resentment or fear, or to your own pride, lust, and ego. Then came the line:

You’re free to choose what you surrender to, but you’re not free from the consequences of that choice.

Because I was in the particular frame of mind I was in this morning, that line pierced me at the very center of my being. I'm in kind of a strange place. First of all, I am PMS-ing and that is not a small thing for me these days. At least one week a month I can look forward to feeling like the whole world is going to crumble around me. My doctor asked if I thought I needed medication, but I told him that so far I can get through it just by realizing it's that one horrible week and that what I am feeling is not real. Everything won't really fall apart. It's just feelings.

Add to that some deflating news I got about work. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say it took some of the wind out of my sails. (And keep in mind there wasn't much of a breeze to start with because I'm PMS-ing.) There has been a real temptation the last 24 hours to just surrender to the feelings of hopelessness, despair, sadness.

You’re free to choose what you surrender to, but you’re not free from the consequences of that choice.

Then came that line. I could surrender to these feelings. I'm free to do that. But what kind of consequences would there be? Nothing good could come of it. I've been down the path of depression once in my life and it's not somewhere I care to revisit. And who would want to entertain thoughts of despair even if they didn't lead to full-blown depression? Life is too short for that. There are too many good things all around us to enjoy.

So, that one line snapped me out of it. Oh, it's still "that week". But my thoughts are back to being more healthy. This PMS-y week will end, and life is still good. God is in control of my destiny, and I'm in good hands. I have so much to be grateful for and these temporary feelings of sadness cannot take that away from me.

I choose to surrender to God.