I read an article this morning that really made me sad.
On a brisk day last fall in Prineville, Ore., Raymond and Deanna Donaca faced the unthinkable: They were losing their home to foreclosure and had days to move out.
For more than two decades, the couple had lived in their three-level house, where the elms outside blazed with yellow shades of fall and their four golden retrievers slept in the yard. The town had always been home, with a lazy river and rolling hills dotted by gnarled juniper trees.
Yet just before lunch on Oct. 23, the Donacas closed all their home's doors except the one to the garage and left their 1981 Cadillac Eldorado running. Toxic fumes filled the home. When sheriff's deputies arrived at about 1 p.m., they found the body of Raymond, 71, on the second floor along with three dead dogs. The body of Deanna, 69, was in an upstairs bedroom, close to another dead retriever.
"It is believed that the Donacas committed suicide after attempts to save their home following a foreclosure notice left them believing they had few options," the Crook County Sheriff's Office said in a report.
"Left them believing they had few options." Those words continue to burn in my heart. Such a tragedy. So many lives being turned upside-down. And my heart just aches.
This housing crisis is taking its toll on many families. The article went on to relate several other heart-wrenching stories about people who had lost their homes. But in the midst of the darkness shines tremendous opportunity . . . opportunity for us who have been so deeply touched by God's love to offer hope to those who desperately need it. What an opportunity to introduce them to the God who loves them and will carry them through all things. They are searching for something, anything to hold on to. And we know. We know what will not only sustain them, but will set them free to be more and experience more than they ever dreamed possible. We hold the information, the power, to transform the moment. No longer will it be a time of few options. No longer will it be lost hope. No longer will it be the time when life as they knew it was ending.
Because on the horizon will be the life they never knew existed. And that life is only just beginning . . .
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Monday, May 19, 2008
Count the Cost
There are lots of things all around us that are true. Good things and bad things, positive and negative. While I think it's good to be aware of both (nothing good comes from pretending the bad isn't happening) I think it's extremely important that we know the difference between being "aware of" and "focusing on".
Leonard and I first began talking about this as it relates to young couples. If there is one thing that stands head and shoulders above the rest as something they NEED to know to have a happy marriage, this would be it. There are good things and bad things about you, and there are good things and bad things about your spouse. It's okay to be aware of that. But whichever you choose to focus on will shape your entire married life.
So many times people talk about falling in and out of love as if it's something that just happens. I would like to suggest that it does NOT just happen. In fact, I believe the majority of the time it starts with what you allow yourself to focus on. Maybe you start out noticing just a couple of things that irritate you, but then it snowballs from there. The next thing you know, you're often thinking about the things that irritate you and rarely thinking about the things you love, and you no longer feel "in love" . . . just annoyed.
The mind is a powerful thing, and before you allow it to go this route, I would suggest you count the cost. You may very well be robbing yourself of your happily-ever-after.
There is a logical course of events:
1) You choose what you focus on
2) Your emotions begin to shift to support that focus
3) Your actions soon follow
It's simple. If you focus on the negative, you will begin to feel negatively toward your spouse. If you focus on the positive, you'll feel positively toward them. It's a choice. It may not seem this simple, but it really is... you can choose to have a happy marriage or a miserable one. And a surprising number of people choose to be miserable, just by choosing to dwell on the negative. The positive still exists... they just don't look at it. Suddenly it's not enough to have positive and negative. They will not be happy until ALL the negatives become positive, too. And do I even need to mention that will never happen?
Now, although this is certainly true of marriage, it's also true in every other area of our lives. What we allow ourselves to FOCUS on will affect our emotions which will affect our actions. I saw a plaque at a friend's house last week that said, "Happiness is wanting what you have." I LOVE that! We all have wish lists... things we would get if we could. But it's a matter of focus. If you focus on what you don't have, you'll eventually start feeling bad that you don't have it. But you have a choice! You can acknowledge that you don't have it, even that you would like to have it some day, but then FOCUS on what you do have and live with a grateful heart. I'd be willing to bet you'll feel a whole lot better.
We are not helpless victims of our emotions. We don't have to try to just roll with wherever they take us. And if you feel like your emotions control you, it's time to rise up and take that control back. Your mind is a powerful thing. Choose where you let it dwell. Choose what you focus on.
It's never too late to have a "happily-ever-after".
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise....then the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:8-9
Leonard and I first began talking about this as it relates to young couples. If there is one thing that stands head and shoulders above the rest as something they NEED to know to have a happy marriage, this would be it. There are good things and bad things about you, and there are good things and bad things about your spouse. It's okay to be aware of that. But whichever you choose to focus on will shape your entire married life.
So many times people talk about falling in and out of love as if it's something that just happens. I would like to suggest that it does NOT just happen. In fact, I believe the majority of the time it starts with what you allow yourself to focus on. Maybe you start out noticing just a couple of things that irritate you, but then it snowballs from there. The next thing you know, you're often thinking about the things that irritate you and rarely thinking about the things you love, and you no longer feel "in love" . . . just annoyed.
The mind is a powerful thing, and before you allow it to go this route, I would suggest you count the cost. You may very well be robbing yourself of your happily-ever-after.
There is a logical course of events:
1) You choose what you focus on
2) Your emotions begin to shift to support that focus
3) Your actions soon follow
It's simple. If you focus on the negative, you will begin to feel negatively toward your spouse. If you focus on the positive, you'll feel positively toward them. It's a choice. It may not seem this simple, but it really is... you can choose to have a happy marriage or a miserable one. And a surprising number of people choose to be miserable, just by choosing to dwell on the negative. The positive still exists... they just don't look at it. Suddenly it's not enough to have positive and negative. They will not be happy until ALL the negatives become positive, too. And do I even need to mention that will never happen?
Now, although this is certainly true of marriage, it's also true in every other area of our lives. What we allow ourselves to FOCUS on will affect our emotions which will affect our actions. I saw a plaque at a friend's house last week that said, "Happiness is wanting what you have." I LOVE that! We all have wish lists... things we would get if we could. But it's a matter of focus. If you focus on what you don't have, you'll eventually start feeling bad that you don't have it. But you have a choice! You can acknowledge that you don't have it, even that you would like to have it some day, but then FOCUS on what you do have and live with a grateful heart. I'd be willing to bet you'll feel a whole lot better.
We are not helpless victims of our emotions. We don't have to try to just roll with wherever they take us. And if you feel like your emotions control you, it's time to rise up and take that control back. Your mind is a powerful thing. Choose where you let it dwell. Choose what you focus on.
It's never too late to have a "happily-ever-after".
And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise....then the God of peace will be with you.
Philippians 4:8-9
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Her Name is Ruth
God works in amazing ways.
I was flying back from Minneapolis yesterday, and I wound up sitting next to a woman named Ruth from Trinidad. I had a really good time talking with her, but more importantly I found out that there were some areas in her life where she really needed prayer. In the end, I wound up assuring her that Leonard and I would most definitely pray for her every day, and it made me wonder if this was one of those things that Christians like to call "divine appointments".
I guess I do believe in coincidence. But I also believe very strongly that there are times God arranges things to happen in a certain way for a certain purpose. I wondered after meeting Ruth if God designed this meeting because her situation is such that she needed to meet people who really would pray on her behalf. And I wondered how many more people like me He may have put in her path. I wondered at the same time if the things that she shared with me were things that I needed to hear. Things that will help me on my journey.
I really do believe in that stuff.
I know of Christians who believe God wants to control every detail of our lives. I have seriously met people who even pray about what they should wear every morning. Now, I have no doubts as to God's ability to put together an impressive ensemble . . . but if there's a time when He really cares whether I wear a blue shirt or a red shirt He's going to have to really get my attention. Otherwise I'll probably just assume it's not that big of deal.
But this is different. Ruth's first winter in Nebraska was 1997. (Can you say ice storm?) Is there any doubt that anyone who stays in Nebraska after that must definitely have a purpose here? She wants to eventually go back to Trinidad, but she feels there are things she needs to accomplish here in the U.S. first. She did have some health issues, and she also needs prayer that God will guide her path career-wise (it's a critical time). I don't know for sure what it is God wants to do in this woman's life, but if there are any people out there who would be willing to pray for Ruth, I know she would be grateful.
And then you can wonder if it was by God's divine appointment that you chose to read this blog today. :o)
I was flying back from Minneapolis yesterday, and I wound up sitting next to a woman named Ruth from Trinidad. I had a really good time talking with her, but more importantly I found out that there were some areas in her life where she really needed prayer. In the end, I wound up assuring her that Leonard and I would most definitely pray for her every day, and it made me wonder if this was one of those things that Christians like to call "divine appointments".
I guess I do believe in coincidence. But I also believe very strongly that there are times God arranges things to happen in a certain way for a certain purpose. I wondered after meeting Ruth if God designed this meeting because her situation is such that she needed to meet people who really would pray on her behalf. And I wondered how many more people like me He may have put in her path. I wondered at the same time if the things that she shared with me were things that I needed to hear. Things that will help me on my journey.
I really do believe in that stuff.
I know of Christians who believe God wants to control every detail of our lives. I have seriously met people who even pray about what they should wear every morning. Now, I have no doubts as to God's ability to put together an impressive ensemble . . . but if there's a time when He really cares whether I wear a blue shirt or a red shirt He's going to have to really get my attention. Otherwise I'll probably just assume it's not that big of deal.
But this is different. Ruth's first winter in Nebraska was 1997. (Can you say ice storm?) Is there any doubt that anyone who stays in Nebraska after that must definitely have a purpose here? She wants to eventually go back to Trinidad, but she feels there are things she needs to accomplish here in the U.S. first. She did have some health issues, and she also needs prayer that God will guide her path career-wise (it's a critical time). I don't know for sure what it is God wants to do in this woman's life, but if there are any people out there who would be willing to pray for Ruth, I know she would be grateful.
And then you can wonder if it was by God's divine appointment that you chose to read this blog today. :o)
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Breaking Out of the Mold
I have this intense desire within me to do things differently.
Maybe it's because I so easily feel trapped in daily routine, but I feel a deep need to do things in a way that will stand out and really make a difference to people. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but if I develop any kind of a routine... even with something that's really meaningful (i.e. praying)... it's not long before it seems to completely lose its impact. I have to constantly change things up to keep them fresh and alive. I'm sure it can be traced back to some tragic lack of discipline or maturity, but it's the way I am and I deal with it the way I know how... changing things up.
It affects every area of my life... work, church, home. I want to have life-impacting experiences. There is nothing more stifling to me than the thought of having to duplicate something someone else has already done. "There's no sense in reinventing the wheel" is probably the quote I detest more than any other in the world. Let's take a look at that wheel! Maybe we have yet to invent the BEST wheel! Or better yet, maybe we need to customize each and every wheel to have the greatest impact for each situation we encounter in life.
I have nothing against doing things the same as someone else if that's how it winds up. But never let it be because I've purposely duplicated them!! If I set about creating something that winds up to be similar to the way someone else has done it, then it just means we agree it's the best way to do it! But if I duplicate them without even trying to use my God-given imagination and creativity, there's a good chance I've completely missed the impact God meant for me to have in the moment.
One of the things I love and admire the most about God is His infinite creativity. For every person, every personality, every situation there is a MULTITUDE of ways to do things. What works amazingly well for one group of people could bomb for another group. Art is not just painting and sculpting and creating music. I believe the greatest artists in the world are the ones who can look at a group of people and know how to deeply touch them, inspire them, motivate them, encourage them. I believe it takes a special eye to be able to see how to bring the best out of people, how to cultivate the giftings that have been planted within them. That's the artist I want to be. I want to be able to inspire people to be all, try all, and hope for all God has for them.
I guess my desire is to tap into God's creativity. In my work, the way I care for my clients... I want to not only find creative ideas for them, but I want to present those ideas in creative ways. I want them to feel they've been treated special. I want their encounters with me to be an EXPERIENCE that leaves them with a feeling of hope and vision.
In church, I want to tap into God's creativity for interacting with our small group, the young couples, the kids in the nursery... even the people we talk to in passing. I want to see what He sees when it comes to the best way to impact their lives. I want to help them all experience something new and exciting, something beyond their daily routines. Something that stands out, and inspires them to use their giftings for great things.
And at home, I want to always be on the lookout for creative ways to make my family feel special and my home feel warm and inviting. I know the things that make Leonard, Jenelle, Rachel, and Ellie feel special are all different because their personalities are so different! But I also know that for as many times as I've done things to show them they're special to me, there are still infinitely more ways I can make them feel even more special in the future.
God, your creativity is so far beyond my comprehension. But this is my heartfelt prayer.... Bring it on.... Let the creative juices flow!
Maybe it's because I so easily feel trapped in daily routine, but I feel a deep need to do things in a way that will stand out and really make a difference to people. I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but if I develop any kind of a routine... even with something that's really meaningful (i.e. praying)... it's not long before it seems to completely lose its impact. I have to constantly change things up to keep them fresh and alive. I'm sure it can be traced back to some tragic lack of discipline or maturity, but it's the way I am and I deal with it the way I know how... changing things up.
It affects every area of my life... work, church, home. I want to have life-impacting experiences. There is nothing more stifling to me than the thought of having to duplicate something someone else has already done. "There's no sense in reinventing the wheel" is probably the quote I detest more than any other in the world. Let's take a look at that wheel! Maybe we have yet to invent the BEST wheel! Or better yet, maybe we need to customize each and every wheel to have the greatest impact for each situation we encounter in life.
I have nothing against doing things the same as someone else if that's how it winds up. But never let it be because I've purposely duplicated them!! If I set about creating something that winds up to be similar to the way someone else has done it, then it just means we agree it's the best way to do it! But if I duplicate them without even trying to use my God-given imagination and creativity, there's a good chance I've completely missed the impact God meant for me to have in the moment.
One of the things I love and admire the most about God is His infinite creativity. For every person, every personality, every situation there is a MULTITUDE of ways to do things. What works amazingly well for one group of people could bomb for another group. Art is not just painting and sculpting and creating music. I believe the greatest artists in the world are the ones who can look at a group of people and know how to deeply touch them, inspire them, motivate them, encourage them. I believe it takes a special eye to be able to see how to bring the best out of people, how to cultivate the giftings that have been planted within them. That's the artist I want to be. I want to be able to inspire people to be all, try all, and hope for all God has for them.
I guess my desire is to tap into God's creativity. In my work, the way I care for my clients... I want to not only find creative ideas for them, but I want to present those ideas in creative ways. I want them to feel they've been treated special. I want their encounters with me to be an EXPERIENCE that leaves them with a feeling of hope and vision.
In church, I want to tap into God's creativity for interacting with our small group, the young couples, the kids in the nursery... even the people we talk to in passing. I want to see what He sees when it comes to the best way to impact their lives. I want to help them all experience something new and exciting, something beyond their daily routines. Something that stands out, and inspires them to use their giftings for great things.
And at home, I want to always be on the lookout for creative ways to make my family feel special and my home feel warm and inviting. I know the things that make Leonard, Jenelle, Rachel, and Ellie feel special are all different because their personalities are so different! But I also know that for as many times as I've done things to show them they're special to me, there are still infinitely more ways I can make them feel even more special in the future.
God, your creativity is so far beyond my comprehension. But this is my heartfelt prayer.... Bring it on.... Let the creative juices flow!
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