Dying to self.... it doesn't sound as if it could possibly be a good thing. It sounds as if you have to cease to exist... or at the very least have a miserable existence because, frankly, you don't get to matter anymore.
Nothing could be farther from the truth.
In the realm of the Spirit, dying to self is the very path to real life. If you find yourself in a place where you are miserable, maybe feeling hurt all the time, maybe feeling like you don't matter... chances are you haven't learned of the freedom that comes from dying to self.
We all have dreams, desires, hopes for our lives. But I have this theory that it's really not about the dream itself... it's about how we think we will FEEL after the dream comes true. Everything we hope for, everything we desire... it's all tied to the belief that if we get what we are wanting we will feel happy, satisfied, completely content with life. It's that feeling we are really longing for. We want to FEEL better.
But the truth is, as long as we are focused on ourselves and what we want, we can never truly be happy. God created us to love and trust Him. And because we love and trust Him, we LET GO of ourselves and spend our lives loving and helping others. If we really, truly love and trust God, we can tell Him, "These are the things I really feel like I want in my life. But I know I am only working with part of the information, and You are working with ALL of the information. I know and understand that you know me better than I even know myself. So I want to lay these dreams at your feet and trust you to lead me on the right path. I want to live out your will for my life, whether it's easy or hard. I want to live the life YOU want me to live."
The big question in all of this is do we really believe we can trust Him with our lives? It's easy to say yes. It's much harder to believe it... and to live it. Is it possible that deep down we have a gnawing feeling that he doesn't care about us as much as we do?
Again, nothing could be farther from the truth. He knows us. He loves us. We can trust Him with our lives. There is no better place we could possibly be. There is such a peace that comes from knowing and trusting He will lead us down the path He has for us. And as we travel that path with Him, He will use absolutely everything that comes our way, both good and bad, to help us grow and mature and be closer to Him than we were before. We can relax... and live.
And once we know our lives are secure in Him, we find we no longer have to worry about finding happiness for ourselves. The pressure is gone. We are free to focus on others, helping them to succeed, putting their needs ahead of our own.
If you have never really gotten to the place before where you were able to lay down all your hopes & dreams, as well as your pain and suffering... I highly encourage you to take the step. It's such a freeing experience. A good test of where you are at? Are you miserable? worried? hurt? anxious? Chances are, your focus is on yourself. Turn your focus to Him and lay it all down. Choose to trust Him with your future. Choose to believe He knows what He is doing and let go. Determine in your heart that it no longer matters what you want. It only matters what He wants. Commit yourself to living the life He wants you to live. It's what Christianity is all about.
And one day, you're going to sit down after a long day and think, "Hey... when did I get so happy?"
