There is a fine line between a multitude of good intentions and the antithesis of those intentions. For example, there's a fine line between being generous and being foolish with your resources. There's a fine line between being helpful and being bossy. There's a fine line between using your gifts for planning & organizing to help things go smoothly and in driving people crazy with trying to plan and organize EVERYTHING (in their lives and in yours). I think I live my life with one foot dangling on either side of each and every fine line.
I usually have the best of intentions. But I find more and more that my giftings can be used for good or for evil. It's all in how I learn to use them. And certainly no one helps me identify more quickly when I'm stepping over those fine lines than my children.
I want my daughter's lives to be amazing. I want everything to go well for them. I want excitement and adventure. I want them to be able to go through life wide-eyed and full of wonder at all God has created, and all that there is to experience. Now, I know it's good for them to go through trials and to have things fall apart now and then. It causes growth, maturity. But even knowing that, and even though I thank God for every time He brings them through and for everything He reveals to them in the process, I don't like it. I just want them to be happy. Always.
So I try to help in any way I can. And do I wind up being the thoughtful, caring, loving, nurturing mom I try to be? Sometimes, but all too often I think it comes across more as controlling, pushy, and even (ugh) manipulative. I work everything out in my head for the best possible scenario for them and then I lay my well-thought-out plan before them, thinking what? That they'll embrace it and thank me for planning out their lives? Even I know they don't want me planning out their lives.
But what they don't realize is I lay awake at night dreaming of all their possibilities. I pray for God to give them wonderful experiences. I pray for their future spouses and for the lives they will have together. I pray they get to live out some of their dreams. I pray that the beautiful smiles can always stay on their faces.
I think I've heard people mention it once or twice in the distant past, but I never realized how hard it was going to be to let go. Every time I let the thought flit through my head that they don't need me like they used to, my heart skips a beat. What is that deep pain? And how do I possibly let go of these two girls who have been the center of my purpose for so many years? I have always planned things for them. I've always taken care of them. I've always picked them up when they've fallen and shown them the path to take next.
But now I stand in the background and watch. They must have paid more attention than I thought, because just look at how capable they are of making their own decisions. They know what to do. And if they fall, they know how to get up and head the right direction. They know God is their only true hope. And as long as they know that, they will always be okay.
So I try to stay on the right side of that thin line. And every time I succeed (and even every time I fail) that line seems to become more defined. It gets wider and bolder. And I manage to keep from stepping over it a little more often. But the funny thing is, that wider and bolder line doesn't become a giant chasm between my daughters and I. They have their lives and I have mine, but that thick bold line becomes the place where we meet in the middle. The place our lives intertwine. The place where our individual lives come together and we laugh and cry and share.
You see, they still really need me. They just need me differently.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Friday, December 28, 2007
Conversation with a Dishwasher
I think my portable dishwasher spoke to me last night. But before you start looking through the yellow pages for the nearest psych ward you can get me into, let me tell you what happened.
Although I like the little bit of extra counter space my portable dishwasher gives me, it's in the way as much or more than it's not. We have to wheel it over by the sink when we are running it, during which times it creates quite the little obstacle course. Just inside the doorway, we have a bread box that sticks out from the wall. When entering the kitchen, you have to bend just enough to keep your head from hitting the bread box while staying back far enough to maneuver the rest of your body around the dishwasher. You then slide sideways between the dishwasher and the center island before you make your final twist to freedom. I can't tell you how many times I hit my head on the bread box before I got the maneuver down.
Last night, I had to go in the kitchen while the dishwasher was running. As I was leaving the kitchen, I realized I had quickly ducked and weaved through the familiar course without even so much as turning a light on. I was really impressed with myself, knowing exactly how far to bend and turn to make it through without hitting anything. And this got me to thinking about life in general. How many things had there been in my life that I failed at over and over before finally getting it right? Then after FINALLY getting it, it becomes so natural you can do it without even thinking!
And that's where the brakes screeched and my thoughts came to an abrupt halt. "Without even thinking". Now, I'm not one that wants to go on whacking my head through all eternity. I want to learn and to change. But I don't ever want to become so comfortable with my valuable life-lessons that I begin to operate in them mindlessly.
Here's where it gets hard to explain. I think all the lessons in my life that have come harder to me have been the things I most appreciate when I FINALLY get them. Sometimes having battle scars makes the victories sweeter. Once we finally get that victory, it's certainly worth celebrating, but I don't think it was ever meant to stop there. It's great to have overcome, and it's even great if it begins to come naturally to us. But if we reach the point where we're no longer mindful of it, how do we use it to help others?
Peter seemed to always be very mindful of his life-lessons. He never thought, "I'm good now. That's all that matters." In his letters you can see very clearly where he passed along to others the things that Jesus had taught him, and that his life experiences had taught him. Some of those things did not come easily. In fact, he did a lot of suffering before some of his breakthroughs. But then you read his letters and you see that he is passionate about helping others see what he's learned. I can't imagine how many people he's helped with that encouragement. I know he's helped me.
So we may very well be the ones who get the privilege of getting knocked in the head a few times before the lights finally go on, but that doesn't mean we're the only ones meant to benefit from it. How much brighter will the light of revelation be if we keep our eyes open for opportunities to share it with others who may be struggling with the same things??!! Do we take the time to notice when people are struggling with the same things that we used to struggle with? I guess I just don't want the victories to become so natural to me that I forget what it was like before I had them.
I may be at the place where I'm able to maneuver around the dishwasher with the lights off, but I think may be of more help to others if I keep the lights on and pay attention.
Although I like the little bit of extra counter space my portable dishwasher gives me, it's in the way as much or more than it's not. We have to wheel it over by the sink when we are running it, during which times it creates quite the little obstacle course. Just inside the doorway, we have a bread box that sticks out from the wall. When entering the kitchen, you have to bend just enough to keep your head from hitting the bread box while staying back far enough to maneuver the rest of your body around the dishwasher. You then slide sideways between the dishwasher and the center island before you make your final twist to freedom. I can't tell you how many times I hit my head on the bread box before I got the maneuver down.
Last night, I had to go in the kitchen while the dishwasher was running. As I was leaving the kitchen, I realized I had quickly ducked and weaved through the familiar course without even so much as turning a light on. I was really impressed with myself, knowing exactly how far to bend and turn to make it through without hitting anything. And this got me to thinking about life in general. How many things had there been in my life that I failed at over and over before finally getting it right? Then after FINALLY getting it, it becomes so natural you can do it without even thinking!
And that's where the brakes screeched and my thoughts came to an abrupt halt. "Without even thinking". Now, I'm not one that wants to go on whacking my head through all eternity. I want to learn and to change. But I don't ever want to become so comfortable with my valuable life-lessons that I begin to operate in them mindlessly.
Here's where it gets hard to explain. I think all the lessons in my life that have come harder to me have been the things I most appreciate when I FINALLY get them. Sometimes having battle scars makes the victories sweeter. Once we finally get that victory, it's certainly worth celebrating, but I don't think it was ever meant to stop there. It's great to have overcome, and it's even great if it begins to come naturally to us. But if we reach the point where we're no longer mindful of it, how do we use it to help others?
Peter seemed to always be very mindful of his life-lessons. He never thought, "I'm good now. That's all that matters." In his letters you can see very clearly where he passed along to others the things that Jesus had taught him, and that his life experiences had taught him. Some of those things did not come easily. In fact, he did a lot of suffering before some of his breakthroughs. But then you read his letters and you see that he is passionate about helping others see what he's learned. I can't imagine how many people he's helped with that encouragement. I know he's helped me.
So we may very well be the ones who get the privilege of getting knocked in the head a few times before the lights finally go on, but that doesn't mean we're the only ones meant to benefit from it. How much brighter will the light of revelation be if we keep our eyes open for opportunities to share it with others who may be struggling with the same things??!! Do we take the time to notice when people are struggling with the same things that we used to struggle with? I guess I just don't want the victories to become so natural to me that I forget what it was like before I had them.
I may be at the place where I'm able to maneuver around the dishwasher with the lights off, but I think may be of more help to others if I keep the lights on and pay attention.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Top 5
Although we have a New Year's Eve party to plan yet, the Holiday rush is pretty much over. It's almost a sad day... taking down the tree, putting away the ornaments, no more gifts to give or to open. And yet, as exciting as the Holiday season is, I'm pretty sure I couldn't live like that all year long. How utterly exhausting that would be. As much as I love all our traditions and all the special little things that make everything Christmas-y, it's going to be nice to just settle back into our normal lives. (I especially like having the space in my living room back after the tree is gone!) One of the greatest parts of Christmas is spending time with family and I'm lucky enough to have that all year long.
It seems natural at the end of the year to reflect on our lives . . . where we've been, what we've accomplished, how we've changed . . . and also to think about the things we'd like to change/accomplish in the next year. I actually think about those kinds of things all year long, but since we're drawing to the close of the year, I find myself motivated to write some of them down. Here are my Top 5 goals for 2008:
1. To be more compassionate. It's easy for me to be compassionate toward people I feel deserve it. It's much harder when I think people are getting what they deserve. (That's so amazing that I can have an attitude like that when I'm fully aware of the times God so graciously didn't give me what I deserved.) Jesus never enabled people, and yet at the same time he always showed compassion. Being able to live life in that delicate balance is a gift I believe can only come from Him, and I deeply desire that gift. I want to be able to see things as they are, offer whatever insight God gives me to offer, offer whatever help he inspires me to give and do it all with a heart that's full of compassion.
2. To help more people. I do love helping people, but often times I find myself making selfish decisions instead. Usually it's because I haven't even taken the time to assess the needs of those around me. I want to become more aware of the needs of people and the ways that I can help. I want to help them cheerfully, and I want to be happier that I've been able to help them than I would be if I was able to do something for myself.
3. I want to care about more things. It's hard for me to care about things that aren't in my immediate surroundings. I'm one of those people that can hear the plights of the starving people in third world countries, say 'Oh, that's so sad' (and mean it) and then go out to eat with my family without giving it another thought. If it's not where I can see it, touch it, be a part of it, I have trouble understanding the reality of it. I am pretty aware of the fact that I've lived a pampered life here in the United States, even living most of my life at the poorer end of the pamperedness. But I don't think I understand the depth of the privilege I've really had. I've seen movies that last a couple of hours and they make me want to go somewhere and do something to help people. But when I find no immediate outlets to see that through, I go back to my life and I forget. I don't want to forget. I want to make a difference.
4. I want to be a better wife and mother. I know my family knows I love them. And I know they appreciate the things I do for them. But I wish I could be more for them. I think I've come a long way in getting past the old baggage I carried into my adult life, but there are still things I want to change, areas I want to grow in. I wish I could be quiet more. A better listener. Or maybe it's just better at letting them know I've heard them. Sometimes I speed so quickly into possible solutions that I think they don't think I've really even heard what they've said. There is no one on the planet I love more than my husband, my daughters, and my granddaughter and I just wish I could be everything they would ever want or need me to be.
5. To love freely. Sometimes I feel like I'm still too guarded with my heart. I catch myself sizing people up, deciding whether they're worth the risk. Will the relationship be too much work? Have they said hurtful things in the past so I don't want to take another chance? I want to be so secure in God's love for me, so aware that He's all I need, that I'm completely free to love in total abandon. I don't ever want to PRETEND to love someone. I never want to PRETEND to care. I want to love, and I want it to be real. Romans 12:9 Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
So as this year comes to a close, I find myself in the familiar position of being face down at the feet of Jesus. Please help me, Lord. Help me to grow in 2008.
It seems natural at the end of the year to reflect on our lives . . . where we've been, what we've accomplished, how we've changed . . . and also to think about the things we'd like to change/accomplish in the next year. I actually think about those kinds of things all year long, but since we're drawing to the close of the year, I find myself motivated to write some of them down. Here are my Top 5 goals for 2008:
1. To be more compassionate. It's easy for me to be compassionate toward people I feel deserve it. It's much harder when I think people are getting what they deserve. (That's so amazing that I can have an attitude like that when I'm fully aware of the times God so graciously didn't give me what I deserved.) Jesus never enabled people, and yet at the same time he always showed compassion. Being able to live life in that delicate balance is a gift I believe can only come from Him, and I deeply desire that gift. I want to be able to see things as they are, offer whatever insight God gives me to offer, offer whatever help he inspires me to give and do it all with a heart that's full of compassion.
2. To help more people. I do love helping people, but often times I find myself making selfish decisions instead. Usually it's because I haven't even taken the time to assess the needs of those around me. I want to become more aware of the needs of people and the ways that I can help. I want to help them cheerfully, and I want to be happier that I've been able to help them than I would be if I was able to do something for myself.
3. I want to care about more things. It's hard for me to care about things that aren't in my immediate surroundings. I'm one of those people that can hear the plights of the starving people in third world countries, say 'Oh, that's so sad' (and mean it) and then go out to eat with my family without giving it another thought. If it's not where I can see it, touch it, be a part of it, I have trouble understanding the reality of it. I am pretty aware of the fact that I've lived a pampered life here in the United States, even living most of my life at the poorer end of the pamperedness. But I don't think I understand the depth of the privilege I've really had. I've seen movies that last a couple of hours and they make me want to go somewhere and do something to help people. But when I find no immediate outlets to see that through, I go back to my life and I forget. I don't want to forget. I want to make a difference.
4. I want to be a better wife and mother. I know my family knows I love them. And I know they appreciate the things I do for them. But I wish I could be more for them. I think I've come a long way in getting past the old baggage I carried into my adult life, but there are still things I want to change, areas I want to grow in. I wish I could be quiet more. A better listener. Or maybe it's just better at letting them know I've heard them. Sometimes I speed so quickly into possible solutions that I think they don't think I've really even heard what they've said. There is no one on the planet I love more than my husband, my daughters, and my granddaughter and I just wish I could be everything they would ever want or need me to be.
5. To love freely. Sometimes I feel like I'm still too guarded with my heart. I catch myself sizing people up, deciding whether they're worth the risk. Will the relationship be too much work? Have they said hurtful things in the past so I don't want to take another chance? I want to be so secure in God's love for me, so aware that He's all I need, that I'm completely free to love in total abandon. I don't ever want to PRETEND to love someone. I never want to PRETEND to care. I want to love, and I want it to be real. Romans 12:9 Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
So as this year comes to a close, I find myself in the familiar position of being face down at the feet of Jesus. Please help me, Lord. Help me to grow in 2008.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Friends
Something about this time of year just makes me sentimental. And one of the things I think about a lot are our friends. I love watching It's a Wonderful Life every year. I cry every time I watch it, and it's because of the look on George Bailey's (Jimmy Stewart's) face as he realizes how many people really love him. He realizes how rich he is because of the love of his friends. I can totally relate to that feeling.
Leonard and I feel incredibly rich, and it certainly has nothing to do with money. We have so many people who have deeply touched us with their friendship. Kenneth & Miriam are the kind of friends that just spur us on to greatness. It doesn't matter what we endeavor to do, they ALWAYS have encouraging insight of what God can do in the situation and they ALWAYS believe in us. They know that God is with us, and they believe we will succeed. It doesn't matter what it is. And I know if we were in George Bailey's predicament, Kenneth & Miriam would be at the front of the line, offering whatever they could to help. We treasure their friendship and their love.
Phil and Terri, Brian and Joyce, Jerry and Rebekah, Dave and Karolynn, Dusty and Michelle, Jim, Jean, Doug, and Jodie . . . the list goes on and on. We have so many friends that have made such a difference in our lives. And we treasure each one of them for the years of friendship and for the memories we have with them.
Paul Thompson is getting very close to the time when he will be going home. And by home I mean his real home . . . the really great one. He will get to find out what Jesus really meant by "I go to prepare a place for you". He'll get to see it with his own eyes and experience everything we've all just dreamed about. It makes me very excited for him. But it just doesn't make me any less sad.
When I think of Paul and Marjorie Thompson, my heart immediately warms. They are parents to the whole church. They love and encourage everyone. They have always shown Leonard and I how much they really, truly care for us, and we have never doubted their love. I remember all the times I teased Paul about being thrown in the brig when he was in the service, and I remember all the times he gave me a hard time for not playing my trumpet anymore! I remember him handing tootsie rolls out to all the kids . . . and I remember how he let me be a kid, too, at those times! I remember his stories (in fact I've memorized some of them!) but I remember more the smile on his face as he told them. I remember his laugh. I remember his love. Paul was a friend to everyone, whether he knew them or not. He was the kind of friend Jesus has encouraged us all to be. And today, in doing a sort of tribute to friendship, I want to dedicate this page to Paul.
Here's to Paul Thompson . . . the richest man in town.
Leonard and I feel incredibly rich, and it certainly has nothing to do with money. We have so many people who have deeply touched us with their friendship. Kenneth & Miriam are the kind of friends that just spur us on to greatness. It doesn't matter what we endeavor to do, they ALWAYS have encouraging insight of what God can do in the situation and they ALWAYS believe in us. They know that God is with us, and they believe we will succeed. It doesn't matter what it is. And I know if we were in George Bailey's predicament, Kenneth & Miriam would be at the front of the line, offering whatever they could to help. We treasure their friendship and their love.
Phil and Terri, Brian and Joyce, Jerry and Rebekah, Dave and Karolynn, Dusty and Michelle, Jim, Jean, Doug, and Jodie . . . the list goes on and on. We have so many friends that have made such a difference in our lives. And we treasure each one of them for the years of friendship and for the memories we have with them.
Paul Thompson is getting very close to the time when he will be going home. And by home I mean his real home . . . the really great one. He will get to find out what Jesus really meant by "I go to prepare a place for you". He'll get to see it with his own eyes and experience everything we've all just dreamed about. It makes me very excited for him. But it just doesn't make me any less sad.
When I think of Paul and Marjorie Thompson, my heart immediately warms. They are parents to the whole church. They love and encourage everyone. They have always shown Leonard and I how much they really, truly care for us, and we have never doubted their love. I remember all the times I teased Paul about being thrown in the brig when he was in the service, and I remember all the times he gave me a hard time for not playing my trumpet anymore! I remember him handing tootsie rolls out to all the kids . . . and I remember how he let me be a kid, too, at those times! I remember his stories (in fact I've memorized some of them!) but I remember more the smile on his face as he told them. I remember his laugh. I remember his love. Paul was a friend to everyone, whether he knew them or not. He was the kind of friend Jesus has encouraged us all to be. And today, in doing a sort of tribute to friendship, I want to dedicate this page to Paul.
Here's to Paul Thompson . . . the richest man in town.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Happily Ever After
I was talking to Leonard last night and telling him how much I love our lives. I love our daughters, our granddaughter, our work, our friends . . . and, of course, him! It's as if we're living our very own "happily ever after". There is seriously nothing I would change!
Don't get me wrong . . . there ARE things that need to change. There are areas Leonard and I still need to grow in. There are never-ending projects that need to be taken care of in our house. There are attitudes to change and lessons to be learned. But I guess what I'm saying is none of that needs to change for me to live happily ever after.
I don't know for sure how or why this happened. Did God just bless us beyond our wildest dreams? Or have we just learned through life's lessons what's really important? I think it's a combination of both.
Although I do feel really blessed by God, it's kind of a touchy subject for me. I remember hearing some very financially successful people say, "This is nothing we have done... it's all God. He has just chosen to really bless us!" Now, they were giving God the glory for their success, as they should. But at the time, my whole world was falling apart so it was actually very discouraging to me. Why did God want to bless them, but not me? Did God not love me as much? Did He not trust me? It made me feel like something was very wrong with me.
Obviously, that's not the case. And I'm actually grateful now for every single moment of everything I've gone through. God has been so faithful to me. He has taught me something through every experience. He has brought me closer and closer to Himself. I know that our lives may not always be as perfect as they seem today. In fact, in this world the chances are pretty good that we will still have to go through some very hard and even traumatic times in one way or another. But I hope I have grown enough in my walk with Christ that I will still feel really blessed even through the most difficult of times.
I guess that's what I've learned. To stand up in front of people and say that because you have achieved financial success God has richly blessed you, is misleading at the very least. I want to stand up in front of people and say:
I have lived it all. I have been very poor, and I have had plenty. I have laughed, but I have cried. I've had times that I've struggled just to make it from day to day, and other times that life was pure joy. And this is what I know: God has blessed us. All of us. Even if you are going through the hardest times of your life, know that His blessings are on you. Open your heart to Him. Hear His tender voice as He is speaking to you. Absorb it all, because when these hard times are past (and they WILL pass) you will be closer to Him. You will be stronger and wiser and more refined. You will be more focused on the path He has chosen for you.
And you WILL live happily ever after.
Don't get me wrong . . . there ARE things that need to change. There are areas Leonard and I still need to grow in. There are never-ending projects that need to be taken care of in our house. There are attitudes to change and lessons to be learned. But I guess what I'm saying is none of that needs to change for me to live happily ever after.
I don't know for sure how or why this happened. Did God just bless us beyond our wildest dreams? Or have we just learned through life's lessons what's really important? I think it's a combination of both.
Although I do feel really blessed by God, it's kind of a touchy subject for me. I remember hearing some very financially successful people say, "This is nothing we have done... it's all God. He has just chosen to really bless us!" Now, they were giving God the glory for their success, as they should. But at the time, my whole world was falling apart so it was actually very discouraging to me. Why did God want to bless them, but not me? Did God not love me as much? Did He not trust me? It made me feel like something was very wrong with me.
Obviously, that's not the case. And I'm actually grateful now for every single moment of everything I've gone through. God has been so faithful to me. He has taught me something through every experience. He has brought me closer and closer to Himself. I know that our lives may not always be as perfect as they seem today. In fact, in this world the chances are pretty good that we will still have to go through some very hard and even traumatic times in one way or another. But I hope I have grown enough in my walk with Christ that I will still feel really blessed even through the most difficult of times.
I guess that's what I've learned. To stand up in front of people and say that because you have achieved financial success God has richly blessed you, is misleading at the very least. I want to stand up in front of people and say:
I have lived it all. I have been very poor, and I have had plenty. I have laughed, but I have cried. I've had times that I've struggled just to make it from day to day, and other times that life was pure joy. And this is what I know: God has blessed us. All of us. Even if you are going through the hardest times of your life, know that His blessings are on you. Open your heart to Him. Hear His tender voice as He is speaking to you. Absorb it all, because when these hard times are past (and they WILL pass) you will be closer to Him. You will be stronger and wiser and more refined. You will be more focused on the path He has chosen for you.
And you WILL live happily ever after.
Friday, December 7, 2007
Let it Click.
Peter is one of my favorite people in the Bible. I can totally relate to the act now, think later personality he portrayed both before he met Jesus and even as he travelled with Him. And I admire him most of all for his ability to stand up and be the man Jesus called him to be, even after the heart-wrenching and humiliating experience of denying Him three times.
Certainly even back then it was hard to face people when you knew that THEY knew how badly you failed. It's really hard not to think of the people in the Bible as larger-than-life, but Peter really was just a man. I know, I know . . . Jesus was just a man, too. But I think of Him as a man with benefits. He was no ordinary man. Peter was a very ORDINARY man.
As you read through I & II Peter, you can see very clearly how he passes along the lessons he learned through his own life experiences. He knew he failed, but he also knew he could use those failures to help others see truth. So, thinking totally of Jesus and not of himself, he went forward. He loved, he taught, he cared. And he became a tremendous man of God, full of faith and purpose.
It seems so long ago, doesn't it? Sometimes it's hard to see how relevent that is today. But it is. It's very relevent. If only we could get our minds around the fact that Peter was just a man . . . just an ordinary man. Maybe like your husband or neighbor or brother. Maybe like the guy that works in the cubicle next to you. Maybe like a rude clerk at the grocery store. If we could REALLY get our minds around that, maybe something would click inside of us.
I think it's really hard for most of us to think God can do amazing things with our lives. We know ourselves. We know every shortcoming, we know every bad attitude. We know sometimes we lack motivation and sometimes we're totally self-centered. And we're pretty darn confident VeggieTales won't be basing any cute vegetable stories on our lives.
And yet we know it's there. That love, that devotion. That desire to have our lives bring glory to Him. Peter was just a fisherman. In fact, he was a fisherman that made a lot of mistakes in life. But when he saw Jesus, something changed. Oh, he still made mistakes. He still acted without thinking. And he still had the capacity to act selfishly. But something burned inside of him . . . that love . . . that powerful love.
Try to get your mind around it. Peter was an ordinary human being with ordinary problems and ordinary attitudes. No different than you. And as you really meditate on it, my prayer is that you will feel that little click on the inside. He CAN use you. With all the flaws, all the attitudes, all the growth that still needs to take place. He CAN use you to do amazing things for His kingdom.
In fact, He wants to.
Certainly even back then it was hard to face people when you knew that THEY knew how badly you failed. It's really hard not to think of the people in the Bible as larger-than-life, but Peter really was just a man. I know, I know . . . Jesus was just a man, too. But I think of Him as a man with benefits. He was no ordinary man. Peter was a very ORDINARY man.
As you read through I & II Peter, you can see very clearly how he passes along the lessons he learned through his own life experiences. He knew he failed, but he also knew he could use those failures to help others see truth. So, thinking totally of Jesus and not of himself, he went forward. He loved, he taught, he cared. And he became a tremendous man of God, full of faith and purpose.
It seems so long ago, doesn't it? Sometimes it's hard to see how relevent that is today. But it is. It's very relevent. If only we could get our minds around the fact that Peter was just a man . . . just an ordinary man. Maybe like your husband or neighbor or brother. Maybe like the guy that works in the cubicle next to you. Maybe like a rude clerk at the grocery store. If we could REALLY get our minds around that, maybe something would click inside of us.
I think it's really hard for most of us to think God can do amazing things with our lives. We know ourselves. We know every shortcoming, we know every bad attitude. We know sometimes we lack motivation and sometimes we're totally self-centered. And we're pretty darn confident VeggieTales won't be basing any cute vegetable stories on our lives.
And yet we know it's there. That love, that devotion. That desire to have our lives bring glory to Him. Peter was just a fisherman. In fact, he was a fisherman that made a lot of mistakes in life. But when he saw Jesus, something changed. Oh, he still made mistakes. He still acted without thinking. And he still had the capacity to act selfishly. But something burned inside of him . . . that love . . . that powerful love.
Try to get your mind around it. Peter was an ordinary human being with ordinary problems and ordinary attitudes. No different than you. And as you really meditate on it, my prayer is that you will feel that little click on the inside. He CAN use you. With all the flaws, all the attitudes, all the growth that still needs to take place. He CAN use you to do amazing things for His kingdom.
In fact, He wants to.
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