A Friend Like Jack

I could learn a lot from my dog.

Jack is totally content with his life. It doesn't take much to please him. All he wants is to have his basic needs met . . . food, water, shelter. Throw some affection on top of that, and he is one happy boy. All of his relationships are intact at all times . . . you would be hard-pressed to find a more accepting, forgiving, and loyal friend. And he never, ever holds a grudge. Why would he? If he did, it would cut into his happy-time.

It's so simple. We all know it is. We know how content we could be if we were quick to forgive. Or better yet, if we didn't allow things to bother us in the first place. We understand that all people are different and we all have different quirks, problems, personality defects. We know we need to make allowances for those differences. And we know how well life goes if we just live life accepting others for who they are.

So what is it that trips us up? Can we just make a decision to accept people and not let the things they say and do bother us? Or is that beyond our control?

I would like to suggest that it is NOT beyond our control. And much to my own chagrin, I would further suggest that the thing that drives us to the ill feelings we have toward others is nothing more than the age-old problem of self. Now, I'm not saying that everyone is doing and saying the things they should. I'm not even saying they aren't in the wrong. Obviously when we see others putting themselves first, manipulating others to get what they want, etc., etc. that is WRONG.

What I AM saying is that just because others do and say the wrong things doesn't mean we have to be upset with them. The Bible is very clear that we are to deal with others in love. I certainly don't think that means we have to ignore what is going on. I just think God has given us the ability to deal with situations without getting bitter or resentful toward anyone.

I've been thinking a lot lately about "building the church". We've been taught that the church is people, so it would stand to reason that building the church is building people. And since I've had this little revelation, I have been disappointed to see how often I tear the church down. One of the things I let bother me more than anything else is when I see Christian people putting themselves before others, whether it's rushing to the most comfortable chair, trying to get to the front of the line, or even setting the best aside for themselves before others arrive. It annoys me to no end. Or, I should say I LET it annoy me to no end.

Now, am I saying it's okay for Christian people to put themselves before others? NO!!! I'm just saying the way I have handled it in the past is every bit as bad. How many times did my grandma tell me growing up that two wrongs don't make a right?

In the past, when I've observed these things, I have handled it poorly. I have gotten angry with the people and avoided them, I have made cynical/sarcastic remarks to them, I have even complained about them to others. Brick by brick, I've torn the church down. And worst of all, I've excused myself for it. I can't help it... it makes me so angry. It's just not right and I can't act like everything is okay when it's not. You know the excuses. I've used them all.

I think there are other things I could have done. However uncomfortable it may be, I could go to the person and talk to them about what I see, all the while continuing to love them and value our friendship. I can be aware at all times that just because I don't struggle with THAT particular thing, there are lots of things I DO struggle with. I don't want people to write me off just because there are things I struggle with, so why would I do it to them.

So, I guess my point is no matter what people do or say, we can love and accept them "as is". (A term Leonard coined in our small group.) If we know we are loving them and accepting them, it frees us up to deal with the things that come up in a loving way. It helps us to BUILD the church instead of tearing it down. We all play different roles in the church; we are many parts of the body. If we use that correctly, our strengths will help others in their weaknesses, and their strengths will help us in return. We are strong and weak in different areas because we are MEANT to need each other. We were created that way.

So the next time someone does something that would normally bother me. . . I want to stop myself before it goes any farther. I want to ask God to show me how I can help. How can I use my strengths to help others in their weaknesses? How can I best build the church? And on the other side of the coin, I ask that God help me to absorb all the strength that others have to offer me so I can grow in my weaknesses.

Everyone using their strengths to help others in their weakness . . . everyone accepting others strengths to help them in their own weaknesses . . . sounds like the makings of a very powerful body of Christ to me.

Talking It Through....

My daughter recently wrote an essay about the death of her boyfriend, Jordan. It happened over three years ago, and yet reading the story brought back a lot of the old emotions. At times like these, the world just doesn't make sense to me. Not that it EVER really makes sense. There are too many things that are unexplainable . . . disease, death, other heartaches. At any given time I can think of a dozen friends who are going through something absolutely heart-wrenching. And I can never understand why people have to go through such things.

But it's kind of amazing, isn't it, that whenever I'm thinking about how the world doesn't make sense, those are the things my mind immediately goes to?

I heard in a sermon one time that God gets blamed for all the bad things, but people don't spend near as much time giving Him the credit for the good. Boy, isn't that the truth? You won't hear me questioning God each morning as to why everyone in my family has awakened healthy . . . or at all. It's not like we've done anything special to deserve such a gift. Why would He let such a thing happen???? And why do I get to have a home? Why is it filled with laughter most of the time? It doesn't make any sense.

But it doesn't seem to bother me that those things don't make sense. That kind of nonsense can continue on 'til the end of time and you won't hear me complaining. So what is it that we're really upset about? It's not that life isn't fair, because a lot of times that works out in our favor. Are we complaining because there's suffering going on at all? Do we expect that there should be no suffering in this world? And, if so, what led us to that conclusion?

The Bible is very clear that we are going to have suffering. It never says that it will make sense to us, so we probably shouldn't expect that it will. But it does say that He will be with us through all of it. It does say He will be our strength. And it does encourage us to hold on to the end, because in the end He WILL overcome. Those are some great promises.

The fact is, and will remain, that we live in an imperfect world. It's not the world it started out to be, and it's not what it will be again someday. But it's where we're at right now. And with this world of trial and hardship (as well as joy and laughter) we have the opportunity to make a lot of choices. It's where the rubber meets the road, so to speak.

I believe that absolutely every event in our lives gives us an opportunity to prove how deep our devotion really is to God. It's easy to sing the songs, and maybe proclaim in a well-thought-out prayer how we desire to give our whole lives to Him. But it's in our everyday circumstances that we get a chance to live it. Not by pretending the bad things aren't happening, or even that they don't matter. But by choosing to truly BELIEVE that He is with us and He will see us through. It's a chance to depend on Him, to trust Him, and to not let the circumstances have control. And I believe that every single time we do this, we wind up closer to Him than we were before.

Closeness to God . . . it's what makes everything in this life bearable. No matter how bad it is, if we can lean on Him, abide in Him, and become even closer to Him than before, we are victorious. We have won. The world was not able to beat us down, because we let Him be our strength. We let Him be our encouragement. We let His love saturate our whole being.

Satan will continue to try to wear us down. He will try to get us to give up on God. He wants our circumstances to gain control of our lives . . . . . . . .

But can you see God? His arms are reaching out to you. He's calling you near Him, offering His strength. Can you feel His love filling your heart in the midst of your hardship? Can you believe His strength will be enough?

Make the choice. You will never be disappointed.

Being Still

There's nothing worse than being sick. There are already so many things to accomplish over the course of a day, and doing them at half-pace (or sometimes no-pace) just makes the day a little bit tougher. And worst of all, I've lost my voice. I whispered to Leonard yesterday, "I can't talk... and talking is one of my favorite things." He just laughed. Oh, he knows.

But the strangest thing happened. I subscribe to this little "verse-a-day" thing from the online New Living Translation site. It sends a Bible verse via e-mail to me each day, and often gives me something that I ponder all the day long. This particular verse, however, gave me more of a "jolt". As I was lamenting the loss of my voice, and all the things I couldn't say, I opened my e-mail to, "Be still and know that I am God."

Dang it. Is THIS a good time to teach me a life lesson? And now I wonder, was my voice taken away by design? Maybe it wasn't all the screaming at the Fall Festival. .....I'm talking too much again.

If I were to show you all of my grade school report cards, you would see that on each and every one, the teachers checked the box by "Whispers too much". So this isn't something I grew into; it's been a lifelong issue. I've ALWAYS had a lot to say. It doesn't matter if it's relevant. It doesn't matter if it's full of revelation. It doesn't even actually matter if it makes any sense. If it pops into my head, I say it. Leonard has always told people I've never had an unspoken thought. Unfortunately that's a pretty accurate assessment.

So of all things... Be still and know that I am God???? I know that He's God when I'm talking. Why is it so important to be still? But since I couldn't talk anyway, I decided to listen. And that's when it happened.

I felt the power of His love. My mind went back many years to when I was going through some very hard times. Times when I had no words, only tears. And I remember how He gave Himself to me in those quiet times. I remember how He gave me the desire to go on when I didn't think I could. I remember learning what it meant that when we are weak, He is strong. During those times, I learned how very deep His love is for me. And that's something I have never forgotten.

And I have to confess. There is great power in silence. When I am silent, when I am willing to lay aside all of my own thoughts and ideas, when I'm willing to pull away from the pressures of the world... He speaks. And His words ALWAYS have relevance. He always brings revelation. And He always makes sense of the chaos. During the times when I get going full-steam-ahead... plan this, plan that, figure out the details, make it work.... I forget the need to be silent. And soon, I run out of gas. I forget to spend time just abiding in His presence, and I burn out. And once I let that happen, it takes a long, long time to recover.

Thank God I have lost my voice.

Seeing the Sun Shine

I could never live in Seattle -- I've heard it rains there more than it doesn't. And although I like a good thunderstorm now and then, too much gloominess just makes me sad. We have had rain here in Lincoln for so many days in a row, I've gotten into a frump. And actually, the sun came out just in time today to keep me from slipping into a full-blown cranky. I don't know what it is about the gloominess, but my soul just can't take it for too long.

Curiously, I already know my perspective is limited, and I let myself get down anyway. A few winters ago, I was in one of these frumps because it had been gloomy too long, and I had to fly out to Minnesota for work. I got on the plane and went up, up, up through the clouds. All of a sudden, we were above the clouds and the most amazing thing happened... the sun shone right in my window, bright as could be! My mood changed instantly! It was as if an old friend had just appeared and I wanted to shout, "You're still here!!!" (However, I refrained from any outbursts... what with not wanting to get kicked off the plane and all.)

It was then that I had the revelation. I stand under the clouds feeling as if the sun is gone, when all along it's shining just as brightly as ever right above the darkness! It doesn't take a great deal of inner reflection to relate that to our Christian lives. How many times have we let our circumstances (the clouds) convince us that God (the sun) is no longer at work (shining)??? I don't think I care to admit how many times that has really happened in my life.

But the thing that really has me baffled is that even after the incredible revelation on the plane, I continue to let it happen. I KNOW that the sun is shining on the gloomy days, and I KNOW that God is still working even when the circumstances look like He's not. I DO! I really know that! And I would go so far as to say I really do believe it. But I sure don't always act like I believe it.

I've been taught that what you do says more about what you believe than what you say. And I think that certainly sounds reasonable. And yet, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there have been times I've let myself get down, all the while knowing and believing that God would see me through in the end. So I can only assume that at those times, that just wasn't good enough for me. And that's even worse.

Have I become so spoiled that I don't think I should ever have to have any hard times? Do I believe that God has to prove His love to me by immediately rescuing me out of every bad situation? That would be some pretty messed up theology. I hope I have not become so lazy in my Christianity that I am not up for a little adversity along the way. I have always considered myself on the tenacious side... why would I let myself get down instead of standing up to fight?

It is embarrassing to hold this mirror up and see what I see. "God I know you will take care of me, but since you aren't doing it right now I'm just going to be in a gloomy mood until you do something." Chapter and verse? Anyone? Anyone? I'm thinking it would be tough to find any scripture to back up that kind of thinking, and yet I'm afraid it's what I do. I would never tolerate that kind of attitude from my daughters. If they show any sign of not being grateful for all we do for them, they hear about it. I think it's about time I hear from God.

Lord, I believe that you take care of us. We have years and years of proof. Please know that I truly am grateful for every blessing you've poured out on us. We don't deserve the goodness you show us. Help me, God, to always have a grateful heart. I don't want to sulk until you do what I want you to do. Remind me to be satisfied in every situation, whether the circumstances are lining up or not. Teach me what you want me to learn through the gloomy days, and give me eyes to see the sun when it appears it's not even there. You are all I need and all I desire, Lord . . . the sunshine in my day is You.

GREATNESS

There are all kinds of things we can aspire for in life, and I've probably aspired for a lot of them through the years. But as I get older, the thing I aspire for the most is just to make a difference.

I wonder if anyone really sees when they make a difference in someone's life. I know there have been occasions when a friend lets me know that something I said or did made a difference to them, but I never would have suspected it had they not told me.

Certainly, there is nothing that lights me up inside more. I think it's the only way a person can truly feel fulfilled. You can get all the things you've aspired for through the years and still feel empty. But when you hear that your life, your words, your actions have made someone's life better . . . it brings the kind of joy to your heart that inspires you to do more.

I've heard the question come up many times in church life . . . "How do you make people feel connected? How do you help them get solid footing in the church?" My answer to that would be, help them find a way to make a difference. It's as simple as that. If someone really knows that their life is making a difference, it creates this sort of adrenalin rush that spurs them on to greatness! Not celebrity-type greatness, but the kind of greatness that comes from knowing you're being what God intended for you to be! It doesn't get any better than that.

It shouldn't be hard to help people find ways to make a difference. God has given different personalities and talents to each of us, and there is always going to be a way to put them to good use. It just may take the eyes to see it. I've found that it can be the smallest of things that make a difference. An encouraging word, a well-timed hug, a brand new toilet when you get back from vacation . . . I've had all of these things happen to me. And each time, I was deeply touched.

The tricky part is on the rest of us. We need to be people who freely let others know that they have made a difference in our lives. If we know it, they should know it. They are being who God meant for them to be, and we benefit from it. For whatever reason, people just don't see when they make a difference as easily as they see when others do. (I suppose that's a good thing. It might border on egotistical if you were totally aware of all the good you do.)

So today let's do something amazing in the church. Let's commit to letting people know when they touch our lives. Let's tell them when they've made a difference.

You'll be spurring them on to greatness!

Just Checking....

When my daughter, Rachel, was young she was afraid of the basement. So, being the nurturing mother, I would try to comfort her by standing at the top of the stairs and telling her, "I'll wait right here until you get back." She was so brave as she descended the stairs! But apparently she had serious doubts as to whether I would hold true to my promise, because every third step she'd turn to see if I was still there. I told her over and over that I would stay there, and out of all the trips she made to the basement, I NEVER left. I just couldn't understand why she didn't believe me.

But what is it that makes that so hard for me to understand? I do the very same thing to God.

Since Leonard and I have become fully responsible for running our office, I have had a few trust issues of my own. I am certain that God brought us to this place . . . we have seen His hand in it from the beginning. He orchestrated everything in a way we wouldn't have even thought possible. He's given us every reason to trust Him.

But I can't tell you how many times I've turned to see if He is still there.

Faith is a peculiar thing . . . it seems like it should be so easy. God does all the real work. All He asks of us is to believe, to trust. And it's not like He's asking us to trust someone who has a terrible track record. We have years of proof that God watches over us. We have example after shining example of how He's come through for us. And even when times were hard, the incredible love and support He gave us is forever etched into our hearts. He is so trustworthy.

I know this. Anyone who knows God knows this. Then what is it that makes it so difficult to just trust Him? What is it that makes us think we need to maintain some of the control, just in case He leaves us high and dry? What is it that makes us think it's still possible that we may have a better plan than Him?

In the book of John it tells us that if we love Him, we will obey Him. I once looked through John for everything Jesus was asking us to do. And you know what I found over and over again? Love me, trust me, abide in me. That's the key to it all. It sounds so easy, but for some reason it's just so hard to let go of the control. It just doesn't come naturally to let someone else have control of our destinies. In fact, I would even say it's impossible . . . outside the power of His spirit.

And so I pray. I want to trust Him. I want to lay my whole life at His feet. And the times when I do, I find something that has the whole world baffled . . . His peace. The peace that not even we can understand. The more I learn to let go, the more I feel His peace in the midst of it all. It may take a lifetime, but I really want to learn to give control to Him. I want to trust Him. I want His peace.

And when it comes right down to it, it's just in knowing that He's standing at the top of the stairs . . . and He's not going anywhere.

Bundle of Contradiction

When I was young I read The Diary of Anne Frank. The whole book had a deep impact on me, but there was one line in particular that struck a chord, and has stayed with me ever since. At one point in her entries she wrote in frustration that she was just a bundle of contradiction. Nothing could describe my personality better.

It seems that at all times I am battling against myself. My creative side battles my analytical side. My judgmental side battles my merciful side. How can I fly by the seat of my pants like I do, and yet need all my ducks in a row? That makes no sense. But it's me.

I love finding outlets for my creativity... I feel stifled without them. But when you read about creative personalities, you find that creative people naturally tend to notice detail around them. Did you know an entire convenience store was built in my neighborhood and had been standing for months before I ever noticed it? And I went past it EVERY DAY.

Justice is my middle name. It bothers me in a movie if the bad guy doesn't get what he deserves at the end. And don't get me started about if the good guys don't live happily ever after. I have to rewrite the whole ending in my head. Everyone should get what they deserve. And yet, I love to see mercy abound. People need to be able to leave the past behind them and go forward as if it never happened. Nothing makes my heart happier than seeing someone get a fresh start. Who cares about justice when there's mercy? It's one of my favorite things about God.

So how do I pull it all together? How do I take all these contradictions and blend them into one healthy personality? And once again I wonder, are there other people that feel this way, or is it just me? I think there is something wrong with me. But then again, maybe it's something right.


When I was young, I believed in standing strong in my convictions. I think sometimes even when they didn't make sense, I stood by them anyway just because they were my convictions. But as time goes on, I think my strongest conviction becomes the fact that there is no one right answer. When Jesus came across blind men, he didn't always spit in their eyes. (And I don't know if anyone really understands why he thought it was necessary the time that He did take that approach. It's pretty high on the yuck factor.) But people like to take that sort of thing and run with it. People will take one event out of the Bible and say, "This is how you handle this situation." Next thing you know, you've got a group of unsuspecting people with spit in their eyes wondering what in the heck is going on.

I don't think God ever intended for us to figure out a formula for anything. Each situation is unique, and we need to rely on the Holy Spirit to show us what to do and what to say. Two people with exactly the same situation may need totally different responses in order to help them. And trying to come up with a formula may make it easier on us, but it winds up leaving a whole lot of people confused and disappointed when we haven't responded to them in the way God intended.

So maybe what I have always thought was a bundle of contradiction is actually a vast array of tools that God has equipped me with to handle different situations with different people. Some people may need my creative side, while others may benefit from my analytical side. Some people may need justice served, while others need mercy to be poured out on them. And how will I know which to use for which situation?

Like everything else, it's going to boil down to an incredible dependence on God.

Happiness is Chasing Me

My grandfather used to say that after he met my grandma, he chased her until she caught him. In his eyes he was able to pursue her, all the while making her think she was the one doing the chasing! I never figured out what really happened because when he would say that, my grandma would just smile. Something tells me she had a different perspective of their courtship.

We've been talking in our small group about friendship/relationships. We have discovered that you measure a true friend not by what they are to you, but by what you are to them. Real, true friendship happens when you decide to make a deep commitment to someone. That is God's perspective. Our natural tendency is to measure a friend by what they are to us... they are there when we need them, they talk us through hard times, they are encouraging.... But in reading what God has to say about relationships, we find that we should think about how we would like them to treat us, and take the initiative and treat them that way! We find that our relationships are all about laying our lives down for our friends. The Bible just really doesn't say much about how people should treat us. It's all about how we should treat them.

So, as I was thinking about my grandparents and God's perspective vs. human perspective, it got me to thinking about happiness. (My mind flies from one topic to another in a matter of seconds... it drives Leonard crazy!) As I was growing up, I would have to honestly say that I chased happiness. I wanted so much to be happy, and at a young age I started the pattern. "If only I could have this, then I would be happy. Now if I could have that, I would really be happy. But none of it matters anymore unless this boy likes me... then I'll be happy."

And so it continued well into my adult life. Even once I began to follow God, I just began asking Him for the things that would make me happy. And I would seriously wonder about His love for me when He didn't do it... didn't He want me to be happy? But the problem was my perspective. I was seeing things from the human perspective I had learned. God's perspective about happiness, as it is with most things, is backwards from human perspective.

When I am chasing happiness, I am centered on myself and my own needs. And one of those pearls of wisdom I have gained through growing old is that as long as we are centered on ourselves, we will never really be happy. Everything the world has taught us is about looking out for ourselves. All that God teaches is about looking out for others.

So, I began quite some time ago trying to re-train my mind. (Although I've resolved myself to the fact that this is going to be a lifelong process) I now try to focus on what I can do for others. How can I help them succeed? What will make them happy? How can I encourage them? What could I do to help make their lives better? And you know what happens without me even trying? I feel happy.

Now, time and time again I catch myself going back to being self-centered. But I've come to quickly recognize the tell-tale signs of it ... suddenly I'm not so happy. When I start focusing on myself again, the happiness just dissipates. And that's my cue to start looking from God's perspective. It doesn't fit with what we have learned in the world, but it's the only thing that really works. Take care of others and God will take care of you. Put your focus on the needs of others. Take care of His sheep. Lay down your life for them.

When I am doing that, I glance behind me... and you know what I see? Happiness is chasing me.

The Big Ideas

I have had all kinds of ideas in my lifetime, and they come in different forms at different times. Sometimes through discussions with friends, an idea suddenly pops up. Other times I wake up in the middle of the night with an idea (which often doesn't seem nearly as brilliant once I'm fully coherent). But this time, I was driving up Cotner Blvd., and it hit me.... the great idea!

Now, the idea itself is irrelevant. The question that drove me to my blog today is "What makes an idea a big one?" I know a lot of people who are looking for that "million dollar idea." To them, maybe a big idea is one that makes them a lot of money. And some of them are really great people, so I don't think that the love of money is necessarily driving them. Sometimes it's just a desire for life to be a little easier. (And if you've ever watched "It's a Wonderful Life", Jimmy Stewart himself pointed out to Clarence that money sure comes in handy down here.)

Other people may be living in the middle of the devastation that disease and sickness can bring. To them, a big idea would certainly be a cure. And who could argue with that. We have watched some of our closest friends live day in and day out with MS, and life is just harder for them. I think by far my greatest dream is to see them totally healed. I really don't know if it will happen on this side of heaven or the other. But I do know that it will happen and when it does, life will be good for them for all eternity. (AND there will be a whole lot of celebrating going on....we're talking 20, maybe 30 thousand years before we even BEGIN to slow down!)

But as I was driving down Cotner Blvd, I had what I truly believe was a God-inspired idea. In the whole grand scheme of things, it probably wouldn't seem that magnificent to others, but to me it's huge. And I think the reason for that is that it's from God.

If you give even a cup of cold water to one of the least of my followers, you will surely be rewarded. Matthew 10:42

Give a cup of cold water? That seems pretty insignificant. Well, maybe it is and maybe it isn't. It depends on how long that person has been without water. God knows when a cup of cold water will save a life. Or maybe bring new hope.... or reveal His love when it's needed the most.

The thing about God-inspired ideas is they don't have to be magnificent for God to be able to get magnificent results. And even though the part you play may be small, simple obedience to what He has put in your heart can yield HUGE results. What God has put in my heart (and, no, I'm not going to tell you what it is!) literally causes me to be so excited on the inside that I feel like dancing around the room! He has filled my heart and mind with excitement over what HE can do! And I just want to be a part of it! I want to play whatever part He has for me, however big or small it may be.

So, we consider the big ideas to be the ones that will make life better. I think that may be stopping short.

THE BIG IDEAS ARE THE GOD-INSPIRED IDEAS!

From a human perspective they may seem big, or they may seem very small. But if they are HIS ideas, you can bet He will do big things as you are simply obedient! He has the benefit of having ALL the information. Add to that His love, His power, His compassion, His wisdom and the fact that He ALWAYS makes life better, and His ideas are the big ideas that yield RESULTS!

What can He do with a simple cup of water? What can He do with you?