TAG

Serenity tagged me and this is what I have to do:(1) Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages)(2) Open the book to page 123(3) Find the fifth sentence(4) Post the next three sentences(5) Tag five people

Since I rarely read anything but children's books and the Bible, and there don't seem to be any toddler books laying around with 123 pages, I'm going to have to go with my trusty Bible.

Page 123, sentences 6, 7, & 8:

Then Moses presented the ram to the Lord for the whole burnt offering, and Aaron and his sons laid their hands on its head as Moses slaughtered it. Then Moses took the ram's blood and sprinkled it against the sides of the altar. Next he cut the ram into pieces and burned the head, some of its pieces, and the fat on the altar.

Probably not the portion of scripture that has been the most inspiring to me. But at least I didn't print from my one year Bible. You would have been reading some very gripping begats.

None of the people who read my blog have blogs so I can't really pass this along. But if you read this and want to take a crack at it, feel free to leave a comment!

Customer Care - Caring Required

It seems to me that good customer service is a thing of the past in many arenas, and it just BOTHERS me. I go to the local Walmart and ask where something is, and the sales associate just points to an area off in the distance. Then off I go to see if I can find it myself. And there are times I've needed to call a company's support line for help, only to find no one really wants to offer any help. They don't necessarily care if I'm a happy customer or not.

I just don't get it.

In my line of business (promotional sales), I take care of customers all day long. I can't understand why people would not want to go out of their way to make sure their clients are well taken care of. Even if they don't really like the company they work for (which fortunately I do) certainly they still want things to go as well as possible for the people they deal with!


Leonard and I were just talking about this today. We are actually AMAZED that we wound up in the sales profession. It's the LAST thing we would have thought we'd enjoy. You hear the word "sales" and immediately you think of a high-pressure car salesmen. Yuck. But without us ever having planned it, sales is where we wound up. And you know what? It is perfect for us. I don't know if we redefined it or if the world is redefining it, but for us sales is just taking care of the needs of others. Helping them find what they need to be the best that they can be. It's what we've learned to do all through our church life, and it's what we love.

A second area of our lives that we were surprised to find was such a good fit is evangelism. I used to cringe every time I heard the word. But when it gets right down to it, there's probably nothing we like more than to be able to go out and offer hope to people who need it (especially the kids on the reservation). God has shown His faithfulness to Leonard and I in such amazing ways. He brought us hope when there was no hope, and peace when there was nothing but turmoil. We love being able to share what we have with others and watch as God does amazing things in their lives. We've seen many times that when God enters the picture, everything changes . . . even if nothing changes at all.

So I guess what I've been thinking about is how similar the two things are. Sales and Evangelism. Both have been done a huge disservice in the past, with people somehow putting their own personal goals ahead of the needs of those they serve. But I think they are in the process of being fabulously redefined.

It makes me excited to be a part of both!

WARNING: Controversial Subject Matter

This could be a highly controversial topic, and I know it might mess with some of your deeply-seated theological beliefs, but I'm going to throw it out there anyway. I believe there is healing power in chocolate. Not just any chocolate, but specifically hot fudge.

As I mentioned may be the case, my girls moved out last Saturday. Needless to say, the past week has been an emotional one. Mood swings for no apparent reason, difficulty concentrating, etc. I told Leonard yesterday I didn't know why I was so moody and he told me he thought it was perfectly understandable. It's a major adjustment getting used to our children no longer living with us. It seems I'm almost going through the grieving stages. . .

Denial... oh, this all sounds exciting but in the end they'll wind up staying home. They won't really move.

Anger... this is NOT a smooth move... no one is taking care of the things they need to be taking care of... we rushed right into this without proper preparation. THIS IS JUST NOT RIGHT!!!!

Bargaining... well, if we can just have Ellie a couple of times a week... and we'll go over to Jenelle & Rachel's for supper once a week... they can come home once a week. Bring your laundry over-- you can stay and visit.

Depression... my babies.... MY BABIES!!!!

Acceptance... nope, haven't gotten there yet.

All these emotions are flooding my heart and my mind all the day long. But today . . . today I took action. I sent Leonard to get a hot fudge sundae. I know, it seems drastic. But drastic times call for drastic measures.

And I'm telling you... when he got back with that sundae and the hot fudge hit my taste buds, calmness began to take hold. There is nothing like the taste of hot fudge with a little ice cream to soothe every anxiety. The world is a better place because of hot fudge.

Now, this is purely speculation... no one could know for sure. But I think after Peter's mother-in-law was healed and she got up to make something to eat, I think it was hot fudge sundaes for everyone. It only makes sense. And Jairus's daughter? What do you think would really hit the spot after being raised from the dead? Oh, you know.

So, there it is. I've said it. I believe it. There's something very healing about a hot fudge sundae. And I'm going to live my life by this conviction.

Unfortunately, I may be living it a few pant-sizes bigger.

Responding to His Grace

God's grace is an amazing thing. And quite hard to comprehend when you live in a world like ours. Why would He do this for us? Why would Jesus die for us, take all of our shame and our ugliness, and give us His righteousness in return? I don't think we can really understand a love like that. It's so hard for us to love when we've been treated badly. How could He love us so much?

Yet even though we don't understand it, it doesn't change the fact that He DOES love us that much. And we reap rewards far beyond our comprehension because of this great love. We've done nothing to deserve it. And we could never start doing anything that would make us worthy of it. So does that mean there should be no response from us?

I certainly hope not.

I think the majority of the debates that go on between people about human response can be traced back to a single issue. The motivation of our hearts. Do we respond because we're trying to become worthy of His gift? Or do we respond simply because His love has touched us so deeply?

It is so like us as humans to try to earn God's favor. We think if we do good things He'll love us, but if we mess up he'll be mad at us. Why wouldn't we think that? That's what we would do. But God isn't like us. We beat ourselves up for our mistakes. He uses them to help us grow. He is more focused on the journey, on the work being done on the inside of us, than He is on our mistakes. And when He promised to use all things for our good (Romans 8:28) I think this is what He was talking about. Instead of using our performance to measure ourselves, we need to understand that everything in our lives, both good and bad, is now being used by God to help us on our journey. We will learn something from it. We will grow. We will be closer to Him. And that's all that matters.

Sometimes it takes time. I told my daughter not that long ago not to get so frustrated with herself. She is on a journey, and she can't change herself faster than God wants to change her. We expect to get from point A to point B so quickly. But God usually takes us on a slower, more meaningful journey toward freedom and change.

I believe as we go on this journey with God, there most definitely will be human response. Not because we need to earn anything. Not because we need to make up for something we've done. But when we see how deep His love is for us, and we begin to understand what it means to be completely surrounded and protected in that love, we won't be able to help but to show our love back to Him. We want the people we love to KNOW it. We want to do what brings joy to them; we love to make them happy.

There are plenty of places in the New Testament where we are encouraged to think the way we should and act the way we should. Naturally, people decided that's how you become a good Christian. So they try. And they try and they try and they try. And unfortunately, that's what trips so many people up and causes them to give up before they even get started.

You must first understand His love. His gift. His favor. You need to understand first and foremost that you are a child of the king, and you now have all the benefits of a prince or princess in the kingdom. His love has been poured extravagantly over you. You are loved far beyond your wildest imagination by the most powerful being in the universe. Think about it. Meditate on it. Let the truth consume your heart.

Then, respond away!

End of an Era

My girls are moving out.

I'm not sure when yet . . . it could be as soon as March 1st. Then it will be just Leonard and I . . . and the boys. Who could forget the boys? Kairo and Jack will probably be the greatest source of comfort to me when I feel that need to nurture. But this is a marker time in my life, because the day my girls move out, things will never, ever be the same.

Now, I try to keep a positive attitude about this, and most the time I do a pretty good job. It's fun helping the girls get the things they need . . . especially for their kitchen. And I'm excited just because they are so excited. Having your first apartment is just an exciting time. But as I mentioned before, I'm extremely sentimental.

I remember so clearly the first morning we woke up in our new house. It was such an amazing feeling! The four of us had just come out of a very cramped apartment, and God had given us all we dreamed of and more in this new house. It had absolutely everything that was on our list of wants, plus things that had never even occurred to us (like the dead-end street, the sledding hill, the park...) That first morning, I went downstairs and sat on the couch, and even looking at all the boxes that needed unpacking all I could do was smile. I don't know how long I sat there, but I remember hearing a noise on the stairs. I looked over, and there were my two very little girls toddling down the stairs on their very first morning in their brand new house. And that was the moment. That was the moment I knew it was our home, and I'd never, ever want to live anywhere else.

Now here we are, what seems like a lifetime later. And yet it seems like yesterday they came down those stairs. I think this gives me a glimpse into the whole "a thousand years is like a day and a day is like a thousand years" thing. How can it seem so long ago and still seem so recent? And once again, I see all the memories flashing through my mind.

We have never lived in this house without our girls. I just don't see how it will feel right without them. And how I'll miss the laughter. Whether it's because of one of Leonard's two-room stories (so long it can't be finished in one room!) or one of our infamous no-one-understands-what-anyone-else-is-trying-to-say family discussions, the laughter brightens our souls. The girls are older now and although I know it's time for them to go, there will be two very empty spots at the table. Two painfully vacant places in the living room. Two-too-few girls to tuck in at night or make a comfy spot when they're sick. And our little Ellie . . . kisses and hugs have been ours for the asking, anytime day or night. And her entertainment has provided so many memories already. I'm at a loss. I don't really know how to deal with all these emotions. But deep down, I guess I'm glad I'm at such a loss.

Because it means we really have something worth missing.

It Won't Be Pain-Free

Although I really do believe that learning to see things with God's perspective will help us in dealing with life, I think it's important to remember it's still not always going to be easy. I think it can help us a lot in dealing with everyday things that tend to wig us out and even with a lot of larger issues, but let's face it-- there are some HUGE life events that hit us so hard it literally knocks the wind out of us.

A few entries ago I pointed out that Peter, as he was encouraging the people who were suffering, didn't try to tell them they wouldn't have to suffer . Suffering, pain . . . it's inevitable in this world. Yesterday Leonard talked with an old friend of ours, David (Jordan's dad). Jordan was my daughter Rachel's boyfriend who was killed in a car accident four years ago. To make matters worse, Jordan's brother was driving the car. So for the past four years, this family has suffered. David has tried to sort through the grief of losing his son, while seeing his other son going in a downward spiral because of his feelings of guilt. In situations like this, it's hard to even want God's perspective. You just want your sons back.

There just isn't an easy answer to these situations. Certainly God's perspective helps to some degree. They appreciate knowing that Jordan is in heaven for all eternity, and that they'll see him again someday. They even know that it's possible this could have been the best possible thing that could happen to Jordan at that point in time. They understand that, and it brings an underlying comfort. But does it make it easy to live life without their son? Does it take away the pain they feel at not having Jordan here with them? Absolutely not. I'm sure any parent could understand that.

I think we need to really understand that trying to have God's perspective in this life is just one part of a multi-faceted plan. I think we try too hard to find an answer that will be a fix-all, and it just doesn't work that way. I would never walk into a room and tell someone who has just a lost a child to try to see things through God's perspective. I think at that point in time, they need friendship. Relationship. People to cry with. People who are willing to feel the loss as deeply as they do, not tell them why it should be okay.

Books are written all the time that focus on a single topic and imply that if you get that down, your whole life will be transformed. I disagree, although I can certainly see how that strategy sells books. I don't think any one revelation is ever the catch-all answer. And as passionate as I am right now about learning to see things from God's perspective, I think it's equally as important to remember to maintain balance in our spiritual lives. It's not ALL about perspective. It's about relationships. It's about faith. It's about forgiveness. It's about daring to hope.

So, are we going to continue to suffer in this world? Unfortunately, yes. We're going to need each other -- God made that point very clear. And we're going to need to cry out to Him. There are things that are going to be extremely difficult to go through. And there will be pain. But my desire in all this talk about perspective is that somewhere along the line as we deal with these things, surrounded by the love of friends and the compassion of God, we'll hear something deep inside of us offering a glimmer of hope that the pain won't consume us. Can you hear that quiet voice of hope?

There's something bigger than the pain.